Ace Sanchez ( email: jsa@fl.net.au www: http://jsa.users.fl.net.au/ ) (Standard disclaimer: Ranma 1/2 and its associated characters created by Rumiko Takahashi. I disclaim all mutilations to said characters ;)) ______________________ Blonde 1/2 ______________________ Part 1 "Here's Ranma?" Outside a typical Japanese home, a man in a brown gi with long black hair and a slim moustache was checking his mail. A wooden sign which read, 'Tendo Anything Goes Martial Arts Training Hall,' was posted in the front. Soun Tendo massaged his eyelids with one hand as he checked his mailbox. Never knew what you'd find in these things. Had to get ready for a good cry if there was a bill inside... He discovered a postcard instead. With a queer picture of a panda on its stamp. He turned it around and read it. The card said, 'Bringing Ranma in from China.' It was signed, 'Saotome.' A torrent of joyful tears streamed down his cheeks anyway. "R-Ranma coming here? Oh, how I've w-waited for this day!" He ran back into the house excitedly calling for his three daughters. "Nabiki, Kasumi, Akane!" A frown marred his smile. "Akane? Where is that girl?" Down in the dojo, a girl in a light yellow gi breathed in, calmly and easily, as she sat in front of a pile of bricks. Her shoulders tightened, then her hand came down in a blur of speed as she let out a loud yell. Then ... "OW OW OW!" The girl hopped up and down clutching her abused hand in agony. Narrowing her eyes in suspicion, she took a closer look at the bricks. A bit of the side was peeling off. Ripping it away, she found a gleaming metal surface along with the label, 'Joke Titanium Bricks. Manuafactured by Acme co.' "NABIKI!" "There you go again Akane," her older sister spoke derisively, trying not to laugh as she smoothed her short brown hair and stood in the doorway. "No wonder the boys think you are weird." "Well, good!" Akane said sourly wiping moist hair from her forehead. "Nabiki, not everyone believes the world revolves around, ugh, boys." Nabiki just looked boredly at her before turning around to walk back to the house. "Then I guess you won't be interested in this. Daddy is quite excited." Akane frowned. Excited was 'not' good. ~*~*~*~ Outside the Tendo residence, all seemed peaceful. A gentle breeze whispered through the various trees around the large house, while the birds chirped among themselves, hopping along the swaying branches. However the peacefulness of the day was misleading as the discussion within the Tendo home was not peaceful at all. "Fiance?!" three shocked voices called out, scaring more than a few chirping birds from their perch outside the Tendo house. Gathered around the family table, Kasumi, Nabiki and Akane listened, aghast at what their father had just explained to them. Soun smiled joyfully. "The Anything Goes Martial Arts School will continue if one of you could marry my friend's son, Ranma, and carry on the dojo. They're coming here after recently crossing over from China. Isn't that exciting?" "Ooh, China!" Nabiki exclaimed a little out-of-characteredly. Akane grumbled. "Who cares about China? At least you could have asked us first." Kasumi looked down at her hands thoughtfully. "I do hope he's not younger than me," she put in. "Younger men are so ... hot." She paused. "I mean young." "And I wouldn't mind if he's cute. What does he look like?" Nabiki looked expectantly at her father. Soun shrugged a little self-consciously. "I have no idea." He frowned as he thought about it. "I've never met him." Kasumi accepted this in her usual calm way, as the oldest she had more experience with their father's goofiness. Nabiki did a double take. Engaging your own offspring, sight unseen? Akane's scowl just grew darker if that was possible. Soun laughed confidently. "But, having Genma Saotome as his father, what could possibly go wrong?" ~*~*~*~ On the streets of Nerima, Tokyo, a light rain was falling, the pattering of water loud in the air. People hurried by with their umbrellas, sheltering themselves against the sudden wet weather. The shower had caught everyone by surprise and many were quickly trying to finish their shopping before it got any worse. Even a fog was rising, making it rather hard to see. Suddenly a girl came running out of the rising mist, water splashing beneath her bare feet. In one hand she carried a heavy looking carry pack, her slender arm surprisingly strong. Moist tendrils of water-darkened golden hair escaped from a pigtail worn at the back of her head as it flapped behind her in the wake of her flight. As she ran past, people's heads turned. The men especially began to take interest. The girl was just so incredibly, and unnaturally beautiful. Feet began to shuffle and crowds began to form as more people began to follow her to satisfy their curiosity. And also to have a better look. "Get lost ya ol' fart!" the girl said over her shoulder as she ran. Something growled. When the people turned to see who the words were directed to, dozens of feet stumbled. A giant panda seemed to be chasing her. However the girl looked to be quite capable of outrunning it. A starry-eyed man somehow materialised in front of the girl and tried to grab her. "Oh my love! Where have you been all my life?" Reflexively, the girl dodged, spun around and punted him at the panda. The panda moved to the side, remarkably agile for its bulk, and managed to avoid the human missile. Instead, the man shattered into the cart of a food stall. Fruit and vegetables went flying everywhere. The owner didn't notice though as he was also checking the girl out like all the other men were. "I mean, seriously!" the girl shouted at the panda again as they resumed the chase. "Engaging me to some girl without even asking?" There was a collective gasp from the audience at this revelation. However they discarded the information as untrue after a bit of thought. The world was already a cruel enough place without, undoubtably, the most beautiful female on it being a lesbian. She stopped running, to the relief of the following crowds, and turned around to face the giant panda. Her beautiful face was tinged pink with fury. "I'm not going along with it!" The panda growled angrily at the girl and charged, its claws swinging in a complex pattern which could only be martial arts. Although it was anyone's guess how a fat panda had that type of knowledge. However, the girl leaped into the air, dodging the attack, and rotated into a forward somersault kick. She flew downwards, striking the panda with her heel right in the middle of its forehead, knocking it backwards and on to its back. With a petite grunt of breath, she landed on her toes, so gently as to not even cause the water beneath her feet to splash. Then she lifted her arms into a battle stance. "So you wanna fight?" she asked confidently. "I'm ready ... wait hold that thought ..." She flicked off another man who had somehow glomped onto her arm. "Now I'm ready!" The panda growled loudly as it stood up and resumed its attack. A claw narrowly missed the girl's dodging quick body, as she back-flipped out of harm's way. The panda continued with deceptively quick strikes for its huge bulk, but just as amazingly, the girl jumped and ducked through the panda's fast offence, obviously skilled herself. After an amazing sequence of attempted blows and dodges, the girl took the upper hand. Somehow she managed to leap inside the panda's guard and grab its outstretched arm. Spinning around, she threw it over her shoulder as smoothly and easily as if the panda weighed one pound instead of the one thousand it seemed to be. A poor street sign was crushed beyond repair after the fat animal landed on it. The girl snorted contemptuously at her defeated enemy. "You can't make me do it. The only thing I'm doing is go back to China." She tried to wipe the dirt from her hands but only succeeded in muddying her shirt. "Yeah, even if I have to swim back like before, I'll undo this and you can go give birth to some other boy and make him get engaged." She looked around at all her observers and let out a sound of disgust. "And if it wasn't for this stupid storm ..." Unfortunately, the girl's observation of them seemed to provoke the hordes of admiring men into madness. "She was looking at me!" a voice rang out. "No! She was looking at me!" another disagreed. "Are you kidding? With your ugly face?" "Well maybe she wants variety from handsome men!" "Ha! You wish!" Soon everyone was arguing, and the noise was beginning to drown out the sound of the storm. The girl stared at the crowds of men. "Geez, how pathetic," she sighed in disgust. She turned to go on her way when an angry feminine voice shouted furiously from behind her. "Hey you!" the voice shouted. Extremely hesitant as to what she would find, the girl turned around with a shudder. Wherever there were men, there were always women. She wasn't surprised to discover large mobs of angry women, about equal in number to the hordes of men behind her. They ranged from cute, teenaged girls to middle-aged adult women. However the one thing they all had in common was that they were all furious. The air rumbled as large amounts of handbags and umbrella's were waved around threateningly. A couple of mallets were stroked in anticipation. "Who, me?" the girl asked trying to sound innocent, inwardly beginning to panic as she remembered what happened last time she attracted this many men. "Yes, you ... you siren!" the woman shouted again. It was a cute brunette, or at least, she would've been cute if her eyes weren't glowing an evil shade of red. "How dare you steal my husband's affections!" another woman called out. "Jezebel!" "Man-stealer!" "Boyfriend-taker!" "Whore of Babylon!" It continued until every woman in the crowd was shouting at her. The girl stepped backwards terrified. She turned around, ready to flee, but found she was trapped. The women had somehow encircled her. The accusations continued for almost five minutes before the mob grew violent. The panda sat up and shook its furry head sympathetically, occasionally covering its droopy ears with its paws to drown out the shrill screams of pain. The sound of mallets, handbags and umbrella's impacting flesh drowned out the sound of the storm and even the noise created by the fighting men. Then the sounds of suffering stopped. What replaced it was the sighs of extremely satisfied women who had just done a good day's job. Then the panda shrugged. At least the girl would be easier to carry now. ~*~*~*~ The sound of knocking drifted down the hallway. "Oh my," Kasumi's exclaimed. "Could that be them, father? And I haven't even prepared anything yet." She stood up. "Since the card came today, it's more than likely," Soun said excitedly. "Oh it has been so long Genma! And now that you are here, our families will be united in marriage!" His eyes started to water as if about to start another round of ecstatic weeping. Nabiki went to answer it while he followed excitedly. Akane glared at his back. "Dad!" As she was about to continue to call out complaints, Nabiki and her father ran back into the room terrified. "Run! It's a dangerous animal!" Nabiki shouted in horror as she tried to hide behind her father's back. At that point, the 'dangerous animal' waddled in. They all stared at the strange sight. A rather large panda stood at the entrance to the room on its hind legs. One massive arm was holding what seemed like a travel pack. However, the other was supporting what looked like an actual *person* over its furry shoulder. Its human baggage was struggling and hitting it on the head. "Leggo 'o me, ya stupid ol' man!" came out of the squirming pile of limbs. "Can't you see you're scaring them?" "Do you know these people, father?" Kasumi asked. These two couldn't be them. After all one of them wasn't even human. Soun just shook his head wildly. "So this panda just decided to drop in uninvited?" Nabiki asked impertinently, now that she was safe behind her father's back. The giant panda waddled in further and deposited its carry pack and wriggling burden on to the floor. The Tendos stared. It was unmistakably a girl. An incredibly beautiful girl. She had on slightly damp chinese style clothes, which consisted of a red short-sleeved shirt and flowing black long pants. A tennis star's slender figure was accentuated by a tight white sash belted around her slim waist. Firm breasts were clearly visible through her wet clothing. Although she was a little slight and petite, about Akane's height, she was definitely perfectly proportioned. Her silky blonde hair was a little bit rumpled though, some long tendrils escaping from the pigtail at her neck as if someone had been pulling it. A couple of bruises and scratches that looked as if they were made by fingernails stood out a bit on her cheeks. However this messy effect just seemed to add to her beauty, enhancing her earthy appeal, rather than detract from it. Large blue eyes with long dark brown eyelashes were still glaring angrily at ... her panda? Then her expression changed as she realised that she was being watched. She smiled weakly at them, and began to blush furiously. A dimple appeared on her left cheek as she smiled. Akane could just imagine the devastation that such a smile could cause to any human male. In fact, the girl looked so cute, even Akane felt like hugging her. Then she remembered that her father was a male, in between all his crying, and spun to face him quickly. She was almost afraid to see the outcome. Good grief. She was right. "Oh my girl! Let's get married right away!" Soun giggled wildly as he tried to glomp onto the girl's arm. The blonde girl's exquisite features twisted in embarrassment as she uppercutted him through the roof with a loud crash. Broken bits of wood and roof tiles came raining down. "Um ... I'm Ranma Saotome," she said, still blushing prettily. "Sorry about this." ~*~*~*~ "But Saotome said he had a son!" Soun sobbed, having just regained consciousness. He was also still red from embarrassment to how he had lost control upon first seeing Ranma. It was frightening how the beauty had affected him. And over his own best friend's daughter, no less! "Now, now, Father," Kasumi scolded as she tended to Soun's face. "The bandages will get wet." Nabiki prodded Ranma's firm breast through her red shirt. "If this is a boy, Dad, no wonder there are so many homosexuals in the world," she said sarcastically. But inwardly she was secretly rejoicing. Imagine all the money she would make with a girl who looked *this* good! Much more than she was currently milking from her little sister, she was willing to bet. Who knows? Maybe she could even make Ranma into a supermodel. And of course Ranma would need a manager... "Mind cutting that out?" Ranma bit out, edging away from her and rubbing her chest. Her pretty face was settled in a cute pout. As Soun desperately averted his eyes to cry at the wall, Nabiki leaned back, satisfied. Ranma's bust were as big and firm as they looked. Models always needed large and attractive breasts. Akane, in an agreeable mood now that an engagement between Ranma and any of them seemed unlikely, felt sorry for her. Obviously Ranma's father had just dumped his daughter and pet panda on them, probably seeking to abandon her. Though who knew why anyone would want to do that to this exquisite girl. Obviously, some kind of unfeeling monster. Her father sure knew how to pick his friends. She introduced herself. "Hi, I'm Akane. You want me to show you around the place? At least until Dad calms down a bit." She indicated her poor excuse for a father. He was still crying. Then she brightened. "We have a dojo you might like to see." Ranma's beautiful face showed visible relief. "Oh, can we?" she asked, trying not to look at their father. Nabiki snapped out of her pleasant daydream involving Ranma and money. "Yes, Akane, go show her the dojo. We might have to wait when Dad here ... " She gave her father a dirty look. He hadn't stopped crying yet. "... has calmed down a bit." Akane looked back at the fat panda sitting on the floor. "You want to bring your panda? He can come too if you want." Ranma gave her panda a dirty look, then kicked it in the head sending it flying backwards, unconscious. "Nah, he doesn't wanna come." ~*~*~*~ The practice hall of the dojo was a moderately large wooden room with seats aligned along the walls and a few decorations hanging, giving it a 'homey' feel. The joke bricks were still lying in the corner from Akane's morning session which had been interrupted by her father's announcement of the betrothal. Akane hoped Ranma didn't see her cherry-red hand and hid it behind her back, blushing a little. But anyway, at least betrothal was no longer a viable option now that Ranma had turned out to be a female instead. Not only that but probably the most femalish female in the whole world. Even her boyish clothes couldn't hide that fact. Akane remembered from her Dad telling them that Ranma and her father were supposed to be martial artists as well. In fact that was one of the objectives for the betrothal, that Ranma could marry one of them and carry on the dojo and the Anything Goes School of Martial Arts. It stood to reason that even though Ranma being a male was a lie, she may still be a great martial artist. That incredible uppercut she gave her father was a dead giveaway. "So, you train in Kempo?" she asked, hoping to make conversation. "Yes, some," Ranma replied, still looking around. Akane smiled. "Then let's have a little match okay?" Ranma looked at her uneasily. "Huh?" "Just for fun," Akane reassured her. "I won't hurt you." Ranma shrugged, letting her blonde pigtail fall from her shoulder. "Okay," she agreed, though obviously still uneasy. Akane wondered about that. Was Ranma not that good and embarrassed that she would lose? After all, Ranma did have a body that looked as if it were only to be admired and not actually used. Then she reminded herself never to underestimate an opponent. The both of them stood out in the middle of the hall as they prepared to start the match. Akane looked at Ranma and again wondered how a girl could turn out that beautiful. Then she shrugged inwardly. "Let's begin!" she called out in a formal tone. Akane relaxed into a battle stance. She waited for her opponent to do the same. Ranma, however, just stood there, hands clasped behind her back, her very posture an opening. I guess I have to attack first, Akane thought. Well here goes! She stepped forward and prepared to strike. She hesitated. What if she hurt her badly? It would be a sin to mar the girl's features. She inwardly debated to herself for a few minutes. Ranma looked at her with a puzzled expression. "Well aren't you going to attack?" Akane shifted her stance into one that was more defensive. "Well aren't you?" Ranma looked confused for a moment. "I thought you were going to attack." She scratched her head. "You can attack first, I don't mind." "But this is your home. You can have the advantage." "Well since this is my home, then I guess it's only fair to let you go first." "Aren't you two going at it yet?" a voice asked, exasperated. They turned. It was Nabiki. In one hand she carried a camera, in the other she carried a notepad. "Why don't you just use Scissors, Paper, Rock?" Akane brightened. "Good idea! Ranma, you agree? Loser has to attack first." Ranma clenched her fist. "Sounds fine to me!" "Okay, one, two, three, go!" They shook their closed hands three times, then opened them to their desired shape. Akane had rock. Ranma had paper. "Hey I win!" Ranma said, looking at their hands. Akane sighed. "Okay, but don't blame me if I hurt you." The blonde just smiled. ~*~*~*~ After a very revealing and embarrassing match, a very tired Akane was looking at the door where the new girl had just stepped out. She sighed. "A girl that looks that good. It's just not fair that her looks match up to her martial arts." Nabiki smiled at her reassuringly. "Don't let it get you down, little sister. After all, we did hear from Dad that Ranma had been training in Anything Goes Martial Arts almost from the day he, ... I mean she, was born. But I guess that was kind of doubtful after we found out she was really a girl." And an extremely pretty one at that who should earn me lots of money, she added silently. "The most embarrassing thing about it was that I didn't even touch her once!" Akane remembered Ranma dodging her attacks then finally ending it with a tap on her shoulder. "She is really, really good." "Yeah, even at Scissors, Paper, Rock," Nabiki said with an impertinent grin. Then she rubbed her camera lovingly. "But thanks be to that!" However, she frowned down at the pile of ripped scrapped metal which was all that remained of her trick bricks. "Although you didn't have to get her to destroy those," she said accusingly. "I was just testing her strength," Akane said sweetly. Nabiki turned away. "Whatever. Anyway, you better take a bath sis. You don't want to stink up the house now do you?" Akane just snorted as she spied the familiar camera that Nabiki held. "More pictures to feed to your collection? You really shouldn't do that you know. She is after all, our guest. But I'll take your advice and grab that bath. I know I need it, but to calm me down, not wash the smell off. I do *not* stink." She began to walk towards the house. "I'm just glad she wasn't a boy! Boys are the ones that stink!" ~*~*~*~ Akane opened the door to the outer room of the bath, sighing in anticipation of washing the dirt off her body in the hot bath. She undressed quickly, smiling as she swung her towel over her shoulder. Nabiki was right, she did feel more relaxed after a hot bath, and now more than ever, she needed its calming effects. Not only that, but Kasumi said that Ranma was already in there, and Akane was kind of curious if the girl looked just as perfect without clothes as with them. Within the bath, Ranma let out a breath nervously and stood up, leaving the warmth of the water. The eldest Tendo sister had practically made it an order for it to be taken. Should I just come out as I am ...? Ranma wondered. "Ranma, you in here?" a voice called out. All thoughts disappeared. Akane, barely covered by a skimpy towel had just walked in, her mouth going into an 'o' of surprise as she stared. Ranma's throat constricted. Akane blinked, hoping the naked teenage boy was just her overactive imagination. He didn't fade away. Just like a male, albeit an imaginary one, he was too stubborn to get out of her sight. Although he 'was' pretty cute. Must have been that romantic movie she watched last night giving her ideas. She pinched herself on the arm, expecting him to disappear. He didn't. She calmly left the bathroom and shut the door. However her scream as she ran off to the dining room lacked any calmness she displayed earlier. Shouting loud enough to wake the dead, she picked up the table and lifted it over head, crying, "I'll kill him!" Her father and a strange man Akane didn't recognise looked at her oddly. He had on round glasses and a head scarf which failed to hide his baldness. "Akane, what's wrong?" Nabiki asked curiously. "There's some strange pervert boy in the bathroom!" Akane forgot about the newcomer and indicated back where she came from. She turned around and got ready to rush back in there, but this time hefting a heavy weapon. "So why didn't you just clobber him, as expected?" "He surprised me!" Kasumi looked puzzled. "But I just sent Ranma for a bath ... " Someone coughed dryly and everyone looked at the opening to the room. It was that same boy Akane had surprised in the tub. He was wearing Ranma's chinese style clothes. He even had the same hair style and eye colour, although he had black-brown hair and not blonde. This puzzled her. What had happened to Ranma? Soun, Nabiki, Kasumi and Akane looked at him expectantly. Only the plump stranger wearing the head scarf and round glasses looked unsurprised. "Um, I'm Ranma Saotome ... sorry about this." ~*~*~*~ Night was preparing to settle in above the town of Nerima, Tokyo. The late afternoon sun's red light gently diminished as it continued to set. Again, peacefulness was not mirrored to what was currently happening at the Tendo house. Loud voices could be heard drifting out of the backyard. On the porch, the seemingly-newly-arrived Genma Saotome, and his 'male' son, Ranma, were sitting down, legs crossed, opposite to Soun Tendo and his three daughters, Kasumi, Nabiki, and Akane. Soun had explained ecstatically that Genma had shown up a while after Akane had gone to show Ranma around. Although Genma did have to wait some time before Soun recovered from his bout of weeping before he was noticed. "So, Saotome, you really did have a son!" Soun was crying again, but this time in happiness. "But then who was that other girl?" He reddened a bit remembering her beauty. "Er ... yes, Tendo." Genma looked distinctly uncomfortable as he tried tp work out how to exactly explain the situation. Then his face brightened as he decided what to do. He stood up, and with a quick flip over his shoulder, sent Ranma hurtling towards the small koi pond at the back of the house. Everyone looked on in shock as Ranma shouted, flailing his arms and legs about, as if to somehow divert his path from the oncoming water. He failed miserably, making a fountain of cold water splash up from where he landed. The water, rippling at the surface, suddenly bubbled as a figure gasped for air, and emerged from within the pond. The figure seemed smaller for some reason, with lighter hair and a bigger chest. "What the hell did you do that for Pop?!" It was a feminine voice that somehow seemed familiar. Soun and his daughters, shocked beyond belief, stared as Ranma ran back towards them dripping wet. Ranma looked ... different. "What? Now he's a girl?" Soun exclaimed, more confused than ever. He studied Ranma's body, hoping that it was just his imagination. Maybe Ranma had somehow gotten yellow muck in his hair, and was just stooping so he seemed short. But then he noticed the definite twin bulges in Ranma's chest, which clung damply to the inside of her sopping red shirt. The slender curves of Ranma's body also could not be ignored. Ranma was definitely that beautiful girl he had lost it over earlier. Soun's mouth dropped open, saliva leaking out at one corner. Akane's mouth also dropped open as she realised that the beautiful girl who had beaten her, not to mention looked so much better than her, was actually a guy. Slowly her anger began to build. Nabiki was shocked too; she wanted her beautiful new supermodel! Then she calmed down after she realised that her plans were still possible if Ranma could change back, and that dunk into the pond proved it. Kasumi just smiled gently at Ranma, unfazed. Genma started crying. "Oh my poor son! How cruel for him to suffer this appalling condition! I cannot bear to see him like this!" Ranma, ignoring the stares, leaped forward and furiously hammered her father into that same pool that she had just gotten out of. Genma flew even higher than Ranma had. "And you know just who's fault that is, don't you, ya ol' fool!" she cried out angrily as her father fell in, making a huge splash. "Oh my!" Kasumi exclaimed. "That pond isn't too deep." However, instead of the expected Mr. Saotome that resurfaced, it was the same panda that had come with Ranma in the first place. Soun seemed to come out of his idiotic stupor for a second. "Saotome! Is that you?" he asked incredulously. Then he caught another look at Ranma and fell back into his own little world. The panda crawled out of the pond, its fur all drenched and soaking wet. It held up a wooden sign saying, "Yes, unfortunately." The panda then reversed the sign revealing, "And it's all Ranma's fault!" "What!" Ranma shouted, her face slowly turning red. "It was you who thought Jusenkyou was a famous training ground!" The panda returned, dripping water all over the floor. Kasumi frowned at all the mess the panda was making as it lifted up another wooden sign. "The kettle please?" the sign which the panda lifted, read. Kasumi fetched it for him. The panda then up-ended the kettle over its head. The girls were again shocked as the panda shrunk back into a man. Ranma hurriedly snatched the kettle out of his hands. "Hey! Leave some for me!" She tipped the rest of it on her head, and began to change ... at least until Nabiki quickly threw a glass of cold water on her again before she could revert to her original form. "Hey!" the suddenly-drenched, blond girl protested. "Sorry, accidents happen, you know?" Nabiki said, eyeing Ranma's body from time to time as she wrote in her notebook. Soun was still comatose, mouth hanging open with a considerable amount of drool puddling beneath him. Genma shook his head. "Tendo, Tendo." He bopped him in the head to snap him out of his stupor. He then began to explain how he and Ranma had become the way they were. "It is a story frought with danger and peril. Such indeed is the life of a martial artist..." ~*~*~*~ "Hmmm, this doesn't seem like a training ground Pop ..." Ranma was looking suspiciously at the strange pools of water with long bamboo poles suspended over and between them. "Of course it is, boy! After all it 'is' listed in this old martial arts book I found," Genma replied and even fished out the book he was carrying to prove his point. "See? Jusenkyou. Famous training ground. Right above this stuff that I can't read." Although he was a bit puzzled at the funny chinese guide, in a uniform of some kind and a hat, jumping up and down and shouting at them. But since Genma couldn't understand what he was saying, he ignored him. What he couldn't understand, couldn't hurt him right? "C'mon Ranma! Let's begin!" "Right behind you!" Both of them leapt up, each of them landing on a pole, balancing perfectly on one foot. They ignored the frantic shouts of the guide. The two of them leapt from pole to pole, each intending to knock the other on to the ground and maybe even into an embarrassing cold bath. However it was Ranma who achieved that first. With a quick midair kick, courtesy of his son, Genma was knocked head-first down into a pool. Ranma gloated. The chinese guide managed to shout something in recognisable japanese, something about a cursed pool and a drowned panda, but Ranma was too intent on watching his father surface the water, wet and defeated, to truly pay attention. "Ha ha, old man! How is the water down there?" He smirked. Suddenly a loud growl came from below, and to Ranma's shock, a huge Panda wearing his father's gi and snarling viscously exploded from the water. Instinctively, he tried to dodge, but the surprise of a panda coming up instead of his father, slowed him down enough that the panda was able to land a solid strike with a fist-like paw. Shouting, Ranma fell down into the pool below him with a large splash. After resurfacing, and spitting out water he again managed to catch a snatch of what that strange chinese guide was saying. "Oh, too bad! Fall in spring of drowned girl! The Nyannichuan! Very tragic legend of girl that fall in pool and drown! Now whoever fall in pool take form of girl!" Shaking, a grim foreboding coming to him, Ranma ripped open his shirt. What in the heck happened to his chest!? ~*~*~*~ "And that's how it happened." Genma sadly shook his head. "Hey, that's not all!" Ranma said mischievously, rubbing her hands together in anticipation. Genma, strangely, went white. "No!! Don't tell them what happened next!" Soun perked up a little, but was still actively trying not to stare at Ranma's female body too hard. "Go, on girl, umm, err, boy! Tell!" Akane, Nabiki and Kasumi, also curious, urged Ranma to tell them. Ranma laughed. "That old fool always leaves this part of the story out. Here's what happened after..." ~*~*~*~ "Arrrrghhhhhhhh!!!!!!" Ranma was shouting his head off. Jumping out of the pool as if it were acid, he realised his diminished size and felt his face. It felt different, smoother, almost like silk. Feeling the blood rushing to his face under his smaller looking palms, suddenly he thought of something truly horrifying. Extremely hesitant, he opened the top of his pants. He took a small peek. "I-It's go-o-o-nnne!!" the newly-made 'she' wailed miserably. "And how come I have blond errr ..." She choked. "You know!!?? Down there??!!" The chinese guide's voice continued in the background. "Although hot water reverse effect ... at least till hit with cold water agai-nn ... ?" Struck in abject misery, Ranma didn't notice the sudden silence. Suddenly two things collided with her. One was the giant panda, that Ranma concluded must be her father, and the other was the chinese guide. They each held tightly on to her arms, one for each of them. They held on so tight, it was hurting. "Bee-yoo-ti-full ...," the guide was slobbering out of his drool. The panda was making suspicious high-pitched growling noises. It flashed a wooden sign from nowhere, which read, "Hubba, hubba!" Appalled and scared to death, Ranma slipped out of their grasp and started running for her life. Her two admirers immediately began pursuit. ~*~*~*~ "And they kept me on the run for hours, before they managed to snap out of it," Ranma finished. With incredulous looks on their faces, Soun and his daughters turned to see what Genma had to say about that. Instead they found a damp panda holding a sign that said, "Don't look at me." It flipped the sign. "I'm only a cute panda!" At that point, they heard the kettle whistling and Akane fetched it. She splashed the panda with its contents. "So cold water changes you, but hot water gets you back to normal." She tried to splash Ranma too, but the girl jumped up quickly and managed to dodge the boiling water. "Owwwwww! Hot, hot!" Genma cried, now in male form, as he jumped up and began hopping around in pain. "It needn't be quite that hot!" "Whatever," Akane answered, not the least bit repentant. Soun, who was sitting down contemplating these strange turn of events, suddenly stood up overjoyed. "So Saotome, Ranma is really a boy?" Genma answered positive. "Ha ha ha, so the engagement can still carry on!" Soun laughed. "We can get married right away!" Akane, Kasumi and Nabiki's eyes widened in disbelief. Ranma and his father shouted, "What!!??" "Oops! That just slipped out! I meant that he can still marry one of my daughters, ha ha ha ha!" He was about to slap Ranma on the back, but then stopped. He might not be able to control himself if he touched her. "So choose which of my daughters you want to marry." He indicated his daughters. "My daughter, Kasumi, nineteen. Nabiki, seventeen. And Akane, she's sixteen." Blood started to heat up Ranma's face. "Pick whoever you want and that is your fiance." Nabiki grinned. With Ranma chained to her in marriage, she would have exclusive rights to his female body. "I'll marry her, I mean, him, Daddy. After all, Kasumi already has a sweetheart." Kasumi blinked. "And Akane ... er ... you know Akane," she continued. Akane looked at her angrily. "Excuse me? What do you mean by that?" "Well, we all know Akane isn't into boys. And besides, overall I think I'm a much better catch." "Hah! That's a laugh! Besides, Dad wants to continue the Anything Goes Martial Arts, while you'll probably just end up selling off the dojo!" Soun, hearing this, hurriedly grabbed Akane's shoulders. "Then it's settled then! Akane will marry Ranma!" He started sobbing wildly. "Oh my little girl! I'm so happy!" Nabiki huffed in exasperation. "But Dad! I want her! I mean ... him!" "N-N-No ... Akane is the best choice!" He continued to cry uncontrollably. Nabiki was about to continue her protests, then shrugged. "Oh well, I'm sure you'll let me borrow him whenever I want anyway, won't you Akane?" she said, resigned. "For the interests of making money of course." Akane looked around wildly. "B-but I didn't mean that 'I' wanted to marry him! He's a girl half the time!" Kasumi smiled gently at her. "But you hate boys, Akane. Therefore, he's the perfect one for you." "But he's such a pervert! Even his father lusts after him! That is sick I tell you! Sick!" "Hey!" Genma cried out, indignant. "Every male who has seen Ranma in female form for the first time has and will act like that! That was my one and only time I've fallen from grace!" Ranma gave her father a look that she would disprove that statement later but then returned to glaring at Akane. "And it's not my fault I'm so beautiful as a girl!" she added, starting to get angry. "You think I like male attention? If anything it's Pop here who deserves all the blame." Ranma splashed a glass of water at her father, turning him into a panda. "And ... and it would be embarrassing if I had a fiance who looked *like* that, " Akane argued. "I could never marry someone like him! Why, he even saw me in the nude!" "Hey! you walked in on me!" Ranma turned around, refusing to look at her. "By the way, I noticed you got a pretty good look at me as well!" She snorted. "And besides, it's no big deal for me to see a naked girl. I've looked at myself plenty of times." Akane snorted. "See? He even perves on himself!" "Actually, I *would* rather peep at myself than you. After all, look at me! I'm way, waaaaaaay, way better built than you could ever hope to be!" She placed her hands behind her head, and began to laugh out loud in an evil tone. "Ha ha ha ha ha -URK-!" Akane let go of the table that she had just used to smash Ranma into the ground. "Raa-nnma! You fool! Why don't you just marry yourself then?" she shouted at the twitching form underneath the wooden fixture. Then she angrily turned around and stomped off to her room. "They're already a perfect couple," the panda signed. Soun was drooling. "I can see her -URK-!" The panda smacked him on the head with another wooden sign, this one saying, "Don't perve on my son!" --- End of Part 1. ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* As always, C&C appreciated... And yes, I know 'out-of-characteredly' isn't a word ;) Ace Sanchez (email: jsa@fl.net.au | www: http://jsa.users.fl.net.au/)