Howdy guys! I just got this weird idea and felt like writing it. Ace Sanchez presents: A Ranma 1/2 and Quake Spamfic WARNING: Story contains extreme violence and no story (A contradiction if ever there was one). Basically if you like Quake, you'll like this. Oh yeah, people may act slightly OOC. Which is kinda obvious since none of the characters in Quake have any personality. (Standard disclaimer: Ranma 1/2 and its associated characters created by Rumiko Takahashi. You know the drill, etc etc etc. Quake is a PC game made by ID Software. I didn't make it either.) Ranma Quake! --------------------- Cheeow-boomp! Ranma looked around confused. What the hell happened? One moment ago, he had been in the Tendo dojo about to go pig out on some food, the next he was in this weirdo place. He was in an underground cavern of some sort, an inclosed area with only one opening which was right in front of him. The walls were a greyish blue. The air felt hot and humid. Steam rose through the floor. He wondered what was under there. He felt something heavy in his hands. He looked down surprised. It was a shotgun. The big and phallic kind. "Hey! Cool!" he said out loud. "I wonder if this is real?" Suddenly, a figure popped out in front of him just when he was pulling the trigger. Choom! Unfortunately, whoever it was, was actually hit by Ranma's test shot. "Arrghhh!" What are you doing boy?" It was his father. Genma clutched his shoulder, blood oozing from his pelletted flesh. "Hey it works!" Ranma exclaimed. He looked at his father. "Oh. It's only you." Genma lifted up a wicked looking axe. "I'll teach you to disrespect your father!" Choom! Choom! Ranma blew his father's arm off with the first shot, then half of his head. Blood and brains flew everywhere. Genma staggered drunkly around until his body realised it was dead and fell over, twitching. "Man! I love this! Who gives a stuff about martial arts when guns do the job much quicker?" He ran out of the closed enncampment looking for more stuff to kill. As he jogged out, he came upon a narrow walkway. Either side was filled with lava. So that's what was making it so hot, Ranma thought. "Ranma!" a voice shouted from above him. "Die!" Ranma barely jumped out of the way as a bolt of pure electricity struck just where he was standing before he leaped. The air was so charged, Ranma's hair was standing on end. He looked up to see Mousse on an overhead pass. he was hefting a huge gun. Ranma had never seen it's kind before. Mousse crouched a bit to prevent the kickback as he prepared to launch another shot. Ranma fired up a shot from his shotgun but it didn't even seem to reach him. Man this gun sucks, he thought. How come he's got such a cool weapon? Kazzzzzzzzzzzp! Mousse fired off another bolt of deadly electricity as Ranma once again tried to dodge. This time it managed to connect with his arm. "Argh! That's it!" he shouted. Then his spirits lifted as he saw a weird looking gun rotating in the corner. What was strange was that it was rotating in midair. More bolts of electricity came shooting down from above, but Ranma managed to desperately dodge, while simultaneously leaping to the gun. "Yes!" He shouted as he threw his puny shotgun away and picked up the bigger and more phallic gun. "Now you get it Mousse!" He leaped and rolled over on to his side as lightning struck where he had been. He aimed up the gun that sort of looked like the one in that 'Predator' movie on to the general area of Mousse's head. Poom! Poom Poom! Ranma couldn't believe it when huge nails came out of the revolving gun head. One nail got Mousse right through his glasses and into his eye, while a dozen more littered his torso. Blood rained down, as Ranma dodged. He didn't want to get splattered. Mousse groaned a bit and fell off the overpass. Before Mousse could fall in the lava, Ranma splashed him with cold water that was left in a thermos in his pocket (It was supposed to be hot, for emergency gender changing, but it had cooled down into cold water). Mousse fell in the extremely hot lava with a loud hissing noise. Ranma quickly bent over and picked the roasted duck out before it could get fully submerged and overcooked. "Just as I thought, lava has no water in it," he said licking his lips. After all he was supposed to be having dinner by now at the Tendo's before he ended up in this weird place. He pulled off Mousses feather's and a couple of shattered bits of nails that was left in his body, and started eating him. "Yummm," he thought. Then suddenly out of the corner a flash of light appeared. Cheeow-boomp! Soun Tendo had appeared. "W-where am I?" "I don't know Mister Tendo but-" Cheeow-boomp! (Plus gibbing sound) Soun's body seemed to explode into a million bits of red hunky stuff as Ryoga came out. "What the hell?" "Ranma!" Ryoga screamed. "Prepare to die!" He had a huge looking rocket launcher in his hands. Psssssssssssssst! The rocket fired and came heading right towards Ranma. "Oh shit!" was Ranma last thought before the incoming explosive inserted itself into Ranma's stomach and exploded. Ryoga swiped a piece of Ranma's intestines off his shoulder. "Yesssss! I've finally killed Ranma!" He began to dance around merrily. "I killed Ranma!" Then getting a bit excited, he wanted to jump super high. "I wonder if that rocket jump I've heard about works?" He decided to try it out. Running swiftly he jumped into the air and aimed down. Pssssssssssssst! BOOM! Ryoga's legs blew off in mid air as he rocketed into the sky. As luck would have it, the lava greeted him when he finally fell down. Ironically, the half that was his legs managed to land safely however. --------------------- --------------------- Errrrr Not my best work ^_^. Just goes to show what mood I'm in. I finished an exam today, yes! But another one on the day after tomorrow :-(. So I'll be studying my head off. Again. Argghhhh! seeyas Ace Sanchez jsa@fl.net.au http://jsa.users.fl.net.au