Argetlahm Adventures, chapters 1-8. Chapters are titled as follows -


 1. Intro / Getting a Grip on Things
 2. The Briefing
 3. MISSION #1 - Unsynchronize
 4. Deity for a Day
 5. Change This!
 6. MISSION #2 - Paradox Equation
 7. Cody and Squall's F**ked Up Adventure
 8. Mystery Argetlahm Theatre 3000







 ULTIMATUM 2 - THE ARGETLAHM ADVENTURES
 A Continuation of the Ultimatum Saga
 by Keyvan Chandonnet (Ultimanium)







 (READ THE ULTIMATUM, THEN DEUS EX CONKER, THEN CHRONOCEPTOR, THE PREVIOUS THREE
 PARTS OF THE ULTIMATUM SAGA, TO GET ANY IDEA WHAT'S GOING ON HERE!!! I CAN'T
 STRESS IT ENOUGH!!!!!! Thank you.)


 Alright, People. I don't own Digimon, DBZ, any Final Fantasy, Conker's Bad Fur
 Day or Chrono Cross or any of their affiliated characters. However, I own a
 computer, and in the end, that's all I need to make your life a living hell.  =)

 On with the show.





 *A fire is burning in the wilderness. Two logs sit encroached around the blaze.
 Three people are seated, one on one log, two on the other.*

 Keyvan :  (sighs) Who would've thought it would end here.

 Demiveemon :  Who woulda figured this entire Ultimatum thing would last so long.

 Davis :  I've learned a lot from all these experiences, Keyv. Thanks.

 Keyvan :  No problem. But duty calls. The Ultimatum has to draw to a close...
 And the Argetlahm beckons.

 Demiveemon :  This is our adventure... let's make it count!

 Davis :  (smiles) C'mon, Vee. Let's show Ultramagnus who's boss.








 *The scene is deep space. The camera pans across the massive starboard of the
 capital ship Argetlahm as it sails by. Slowly, the camera begins to zoom in to a
 medium-large plexiglass dome on the front-top of the starship.*

 I never thought it would come to this.

 *The camera continues zooming in.*

 Me, Ultimanium, Lord Raul, and the crew of the Argetlahm are the only things
 standing between reality itself and an abyss of oblivion.

 *The camera continues zooming in.*

 Ultramagnus will pay dearly for his crimes against the dimensions... creation
 itself.

 *The camera continues zooming in. Ultimanium's face is finally in sight.*

 My recons have filled me in on the destruction that runs rampant in the third
 dimension. It has to stop.



 (A/N - Alright, we know Ultramagnus has control over the third dimension, but
 how did it get that way? Let's find out... oh, if you really aren't interested,
 you can always skip this next part... but you'll be sorry....)




 *Flashback*





 Ultramagnus looked on upon the utopia that stood before him. Perfect. A perfect
 light. A perfect light to corrupt and make his own.

 The third dimension was easily the most technologically advanced of them all.
 Time never existed... and it never would, as long as he remained here. The
 fourth dimension, he wasn't interested in that, no. All that 'time' crap in the
 confusion of the fourth dimension limited its technological advancement. It's
 life. The third dimension retained the fourth's design. But without time in its
 way, the greatest minds of all time allied together to advance civilization to
 heights never thought possible in any higher dimensions. They were immortal. As
 was everybody. Ultramagnus grit his teeth and clenched his fists. Eternal life.
 He had to have it. No one was going to get in his way.

 ********

 "Master, we've received a telematrix message for you."

 Magnus smiled as he took the thin slip from the robotic probe on his flank.
 "Thank you, Minonim. You are excused." He pressed a button on the small card. A
 holographic image protruded from the slip and presented itself to Magnus.

 Magnus stopped in a cold sweat.

 "... no...."

 "Hello, Magnus, ruler of the third dimension. I come to you in great regard. I
 have a small offer to make to you...

 "I, Ultramagnus, formally request that you cede control of the World State
 Government to me."

 Magnus placed the card on the desk and backed off. "Who.. what are you?!"

 Ultramagnus laughed. "Don't you know? It's me... you. Your form in the fifth
 dimension. One a bit more powerful than yourself, I believe. Now, listen to me.
 Hand over the presidency and I'll be more than happy to spare your people."

 "My people are smart enough to abhor tyranny." Magnus growled.

 "Then I guess it wouldn't matter terribly if I did this..."

 Ultramagnus stuck out his hand and fired a gigantic energy blast through the
 wall to the ground below. The laser contacted the west district of the city and
 blew it completely up, with a frenzy of granite, concrete and metal fragments
 and boulders taking to the sky.

 Magnus turned back to Ultramagnus, eyes wide. "YOU...."

 "Now, now... it's not like it has to be like this.. maybe with the price of your
 title, your people don't have to suffer."

 Magnus began to back away. "Never..."

 "Damn you!! No one defies my and lives to tell ABOUT IT!!!" Ultramagnus yelled.

 Another energy blast tore through Magnus' arm. He hit the ground.

 Ultramagnus let loose a villanous laugh. "I could just crush you like a bug...
 but be thankful I'm a bit more forgiving than that. To the first dimension with
 you!!"

 Magnus shivered. "...n...no.... you... can't..."

 "Watch me."

 Ultramagnus shot another pulse of energy at Magnus, which exploded violently on
 impact. The very reality around Magnus rippled as the dimensional gate was
 opened. Magnus grasped the ground to avoid being sucked in.

 "Y..yo..you'll n neee never get away wiitttt h this!!!"

 Ultramagnus smirked. "Sorry, man, I believe I just have."

 Magnus lost his grip on the ground in front of him and slid into the vortex,
 closing behind him. He was gone.

 Ultramagnus walked up to his new desk and sat down in it. "I rule."





 *End flashback*




 Ultramagnus since then obliterated anybody who dared stand in the path of his
 actions. The world's population in that dimension is decimated, and Ultramagnus
 himself has command over an army of androids, making him unstoppable in that
 dimension. That's when Ultimanium, me, from the fifth dimension, knew I had to
 step in and do something.

 I swung my swivel chair around.

 "Lord Raul! Open the gate."






 Next Chapter - (Yes, it's longer) A full recap of the Ultimatum Saga to this
 point. Including all that dimensional-jumping crap... and the arrival of the
 original Ultimatum crew. Most of it, anyways. The Gundam pilots are going to
 show up a bit later in the series, given the Gundams lack the small mass
 necessary for transversing dimensions. Just you wait, they'll be just as pivotal
 as anyone else...









 Davis flopped down on his bed facefirst. Runs through the Digital World never
 quite seemed to get him tired anymore after the Ultimatum occured in New York
 and him and his friends were forced to battle in it. It was all a consuming
 experience for him. He reached over behind his bed and pulled out the Buster
 Sword. He examined the small green crystals in the base of the blade.




 *flashback*


 "Wow! You mean it??" Davis had a mile-wide grin on his face.

 "Yeah, you can have it. And take all the materia in it too."

 "Materia?" Veemon was lost. Again. All this talk of Limit Breaks and Trances and
 Materia and Magic and GFs had Veemon losing track of the conversation every
 couple minutes.

 "Crystals containing magic power," Squall explained. "Possession of materia
 gives the user magic abilities."


 *end flashback*



 Davis flung the Buster Sword in an arc around him and propped himself up on it.
 Handling the Buster Sword was a like second nature to him. It looked cool, it
 kicked ass, and it really pissed TK off. He would kill to have a sword like
 that. Davis returned to his relax position on his bed. "Life is good."

 Kari still was having times with Davis, though they certainly died down since
 the events of the Ultimatum. Veemon still had a thing for Gatomon, though
 Gatomon realized the error of her ways and made an effort to ignore Veemon and
 get him out of her hair at every turn. He was out of the house right now,
 planning to crash one of Gatomon's recent fish raids at the local supermarket.

 The Ultimatum was a time of reckoning for the Digidestined.

 Davis sat up in his bed, stunned. A paralyzing thought hit him. Why? Why did the
 Ultimatum take place? Damn it, he was right in front of Ultimanium and he STILL
 never told him or his friends the true purpose! There was something being hid
 from Davis, and he'd be damned if he never found out.

 A beam of light enveloped him from the sky.

 As did Tai. Kari. TK. Cody.... yes, Cody. Ken would sit out this time. His
 position is not pivotal in this case. Ultimanium made his decision.

 ********

 Tai whistled as he drummed the blades of the Ultima Weapon on his desk. If there
 were only a chance... that these weapons of true crystalline asskicking, as Tai
 referred to it as, got another crack at Ultramagnus, he would take it. Leveling
 the Super Saiyan with the dual blades had to be one of Tai's happy-happy-giddy
 moments. Not only was the slash recorded, it was played back, in slow-mo, from 8
 different angles on the news. He was a celebrity in his school, now. Thanks to a
 couple of daggers.

 From nowhere, his wish was granted. The beam of the Argetlahm took Tai high once
 again.

 ********

 Kari sipped from a chocolate milkshake down at the nearest restaraunt. The beam
 hit her.

 ********

 TK was watching a rented anime, with Patamon napping on the couch next to him.
 The beam hit them.

 ********

 Cody was in the middle of a Kendo class. He had just leveled his grandpa with
 the wooden blade and sent him sprawling across the dojo floor, an honor he had
 only dreamed of since he started the art. Before he could point the imitation
 sword at his humbled teacher and chant the 'nyah nyah na na na nyah, goodbye'
 victory speech, a beam of light tore down from the sky and absorbed Cody,
 leaving a heap of practice armor at his grandpa's feet.

 He pushed himself to a stand, removed his mask and brushed himself off. "A
 technicality on my behalf. Nyah nyah na na na nyah! Goodbye! ... Cody?"

 ********

 Veemon looked up from his hideout in the cabbage rack at the supermarket.
 Gatomon dashed from the meat section, and froze at the sight of the ominous
 yellow light consuming the very vision in front of her.

 He leaped out into the aisle ahead of Gatomon. "Don't worry, I'll save you!!"

 Gatomon groaned. She didn't have time to contemplate decking Veemon as the flash
 roared forward and blinded both of them.






 Gohan looked down from the sky. He could swear he could see and hear the power
 of Cell rising on the horizon. He stopped to analyze the power surge radiating
 from the land far off in the distance, but realized it wasn't him. He shrugged
 and glanced down at his homework. Square roots always seemed to escape him.

 "Urrggghh!! Can't they just come out as a whole numbers for once?"

 Gohan took a deep breath, and sighed. He tagged the back of the math textbook
 and flipped to the back pages, where the answers for page 212 lied. Gohan
 scanned down the side of the page for his salvation.

 "4.33? What the..."

 Gohan sat and stared at the confusing decimal ahead of him as the cool sea
 breeze ran across him. Disgusted, he scowled to himself and threw the textbook
 shut.

 "Gohaaaaan! Your father wants to talk to you!" Chichi yelled.

 Gohan scooped up the scribbler and the textbook under his arm. "Be right there,
 mom!" He dashed towards the Kame house and threw open the screen door. Gohan
 stared Goku in the face.

 Goku grinned. "Hey, Gohan! What's the big rush?"

 "Er.. nothing. I thought you wanted me to put my books away so we could...."

 Goku waved. "Actually, I was wondering if you wanted to go fishing. I flew by
 North City Bluffs and I found a really good place, and..."

 Gohan was struck. "A..aren't we training?"

 Goku shrugged. "Just figured you wanted a little break, that's all."

 "But the Cell Games start tomorrow!"

 "I'm aware of that, Gohan. Isn't it alright to take some time off once in a
 while? We'll go through another exercise before we head off to fight Cell. How
 about it?"

 Gohan checked behind him. The normally flocked living room of the Kame house was
 empty, its normal residents off at different parts of the planet training. "If
 anyone finds out, you'll have your butt in a sling."

 Goku laughed to himself. "Don't worry. We have plenty of time."

 Gohan grit his teeth. What was wrong with his father? He's been acting so
 worryfree since he got back to Earth... he didn't last through the Ultimatum's
 final battle when he had an attitude like this...


 *flashback*


 Vegeta sped up. "Alright, Kakarot, I want to know what is going on here, and I
 want to know now! You pride yourself in showing your supposed power in public
 more than anyone I have ever seen! Do you stop this madness, or do you want
 someone to show you REAL power!?"

 Goku kept moving. "C'mon, Vegeta.. calm down. It's just that with all the
 coverage from the Cell Games, It's up to me to maintain the celebrity image I've
 created for myself."


 *end flashback*


 It was all Cell. Cell was just another challenge to Goku. The entire planet was
 in danger here, billions of lives, and Goku treated it as one big WWF match. He
 wanted to save the planet, sure, but social affairs began to take precedence in
 his life.

 No. It couldn't be... was Ultimanium really right...?


 *flashback*


 "Yeah, that pisses you off. I know. But Goku is just so concerned with his
 social life, he has time only to become semi-super powerful. A real Saiyan
 warrior prides his combat over all his mental luxuries. Your father is a
 warrior, yes, but a sub-par one at best. I wouldn't be suprised if he didn't
 last through the Cell Games."


 *end flashback*


 Ultimanium. Goku isn't going to last if you don't do something! Ultimanium! I
 know you have that power to right Goku's wrongs... why aren't you stepping in? I
 need to know! What is your purpose, one that overrides the safety of this
 planet? Tell me!!

 A voice rang out in Gohan's head. "You wish to know, Gohan? Then come with me."

 "Ultimanium..."

 The tell-tale beam of light shot down from the sky, and a flash of light erupted
 from under Gohan's feet.. consuming all in its path, including the
 not-too-far-off Goku. Somehow, somewhere, Vegeta took notice.

 "Ultimanium!!!" Vegeta yelled. "You dare take those fools on another challenge?!
 Take me, Vegeta! The true warrior for the situation!!"

 "As you wish."

 The beam split trajectories and connected with Vegeta.

 All three beamed up into the heavens, leaving the fourth dimension without so
 much as a trace.





 Cloud held the memo above his head. "Is it.... yeeeeah... YEAH!! YAHOOO!!!"

 Squall lifted his head off the couch. "What now?"

 "Another fighting tournament! Hosted by Ultimanium! Maybe that ass will give me
 my sword back at some point..."

 Squall buried his head under a cushion. Sharing an apartment with Cloud was bad
 enough. But the frequent fighting tournaments, one of which being the Ultimatum,
 had gotten terribly out of hand. Again, mostly the Ultimatum. All sorts of
 wackos showed up to topple Squall and Cloud, one of which being the kid who
 Squall snuck Cloud's sword out to. Davis, he thought his name was.

 Squall threw up his hands and sighed. "I guess we're on it again."

 Cloud picked up the Rune Tooth lying on the ground, now the weapon of his
 choice. In his spare time he used a bit to drill out materia slots in the
 handles and now was armed properly. He placed the thief sword across the arm
 rests of his recliner and picked up the note again.

 "To be held where normal matter doesn't exist. That doesn't help us very much,
 does it? Whatever this guy's got planned it's freaking me out even more than
 last time. Oh well. Destiny beckons."

 "Alright, guys. Read the flier. It's time." A voice boomed from nowhere in
 particular.

 Cloud glanced down at the flier and back up at the wall clock. Both read 9:00
 PM.

 "Well, I guess we.." Cloud didn't have time to finish his sentence as the
 infamous blast of light surrounded Cloud and Squall, still on the couch. Before
 either could speak a word, they were gone.










 Davis took another deep breath and looked up and around him. "W-where am I?"

 "Shut up, someone mind telling me where I am?!" Vegeta yelled. He looked over
 and spotted Davis.

 "Some kinda starship thingy." Cloud spoke, uneasy.

 All of the Digidestined stood up, and stared confusingly at Squall, Cloud,
 Gohan, Goku, and Vegeta.

 All of the Z fighters stood up, and stared confusingly at Squall, Cloud, Tai,
 Davis, TK, Kari, and Cody.

 Squall and Cloud stood up, and stared confusingly at Goku, Gohan, Vegeta, Tai,
 Davis, TK, Kari, and Cody.


 Tai's eyes grew wide. "...No way! These are the guys from..."

 Goku shifted an eyebrow. "...No way! These are the guys from..."

 Squall backed off, he knew what was happening and he hoped Mimi sure as hell
 wasn't here. "...No way! These are the guys from..."

 "Yes, the Ultimatum."

 Everybody looked around them. They were all standing on the enormous bridge of
 the Argetlahm, on a circular floor placing in the center. Pathways parted from
 the epicentre of the circle and made their way out to the four corners of the
 gigantic command center. A humungous spherical plate of plexiglass was suspended
 over their heads. At the very front of the ship, on a heightened platform, stood
 Ultimanium and Lord Raul.

 Vegeta clenched a fist. "Ultimanium!!"

 Ultimanium stepped forward. "Yes, very much so."

 TK looked around him in fear. "What's going on here?!"

 Cody remained his neutral state. "I wouldn't mind knowing either."


 Ultimanium solemnly shook his head, and began to come up with something.

 "Ladies... gentlemen... friends and advocates. You stand now on the bridge of
 the Argetlahm, my main base of operations. You, being the warriors of the
 Ultimatum, have shown your bravery and faithfulness on the battlefield in New
 York. This was just a small part of the greater scheme of things."

 Squall bowed his head. "Greater scheme of things... what do you speak of?"

 "...everybody..." Lord Raul sighed. "We would like you to get in the turbolift
 behind you and head down to the war room, and take a seat. We need to talk to
 all of you."

 The group, seeing no alternative, finally gave up and plodded toward the
 expansive space elevator at the far edge of the bridge. Once everybody was
 inside, the heavy steel doors slid closed with a clank and the pod began its
 descent.









 Eventually, everybody downstairs had located the war room, it being the only
 chamber down there. Everybody took their respective seats around the large stage
 in the center of the auditorium. In the middle of the platform sat a large
 hologram terminal.

 No one had any idea what was going on, and carried on small discussions.

 "Damn it," Tai sighed. "Davis, do you have any idea what's going on here? You
 said Ultimanium talked to you personally on several occaisions. Did he mention
 anything about this?"

 Davis turned around in his seat and shrugged. "Beats me."

 "How about you, Kari?" Tai asked. "You said you had dreams in which Ultimanium
 announced his motives.. did anything like this come up?"

 Kari shook her head. "No way."

 Tai fell back in his theatre chair. "Hey, these things are pretty comfy."

 Ultimanium and Lord Raul phased onto the stage, in front of the terminal.

 Ultimanium began to speak. "You probably don't know why you are here."

 Vegeta folded his arms. "Say something stupid and you die right now."

 "C'mon, Vegeta," Goku whispered. "I'm trying to listen here."

 Ultimanium continued. "You were all warriors in the fighting championship held
 by me, Ultimanium. This fighting championship was held by me to find and
 chronicle the greatest warriors from your dimension... but your question is..
 why?"

 "This had better be good." Squall growled.

 "The truth is, I didn't particularily know why. But now I do. Something happened
 at the end of the Ultimatum, you'll recall. I used my most powerful attack
 Shattered Reality on Ultramagnus to keep him from killing you all, but I fear
 this attack had backfired. Normally, the attack was meant to tear a temporary
 hole in space-time and get him through it, banishing him to a foriegn dimension,
 where the temporal status alone would kill him. But.. it became worse than that.
 Due to Ultramagnus' defense against Shattered Reality, the gate flung him much
 less further than I expected. He was tossed from the fourth dimension into the
 fifth. This meant he had some chance of returning at some point and extracting
 his revenge."

 "Wait, wait," Gohan piped. "Wasn't that the Super Saiyan fat guy with only 4500
 HP?"

 Davis stood up. "Yeah, no problem! Quaterisipalimon has more HP than him! We'll
 fix him!"

 Ultimanium bowed his head. "The problem is worse than you think, Davis."

 "Huzzah?"

 Ultimanium looked back up. "Alright, let's get this straight. Ultramagnus gained
 possession over a device of mine called the J2, a transport probe designed for
 traversing dimensions. In case Ultramagnus had any chance of returning like he
 did, I was going to go into the nearest dimensions and rig the Ultimatum so it
 had the exact same outcome in each dimension. However, this didn't work.
 Ultramagnus telepathically gained control over the J2 and redirected it to his
 position. I was in the fifth dimension rallying more troops for the Argetlahm
 crew when Ultramangus mobilized a small group of rampaging barbarians called
 Tediz and sent them against the monarchy of the country I was in. This is when I
 realized that the person I was looking for was within the government, so I raced
 to the presidental palace of the region and helped defend. I was able to get the
 single Chosen in the area to my side.

 "Why don't you come out, Conker?"

 Conker phased in alongside Ultimanium and looked around at the audience in front
 of him. "Hey, guys. Ultimanium's told me all about you."


 Cloud sulked back. "A talking squirrel. In a Matrix outfit. Phasing through
 walls. And holding a can of beer. More sleep, Cloud, more sleep."

 Ultimanium glared back at Conker. "Not in front of the kids, Conker."

 Conker rolled his eyes. "...sorry." He tossed the empty can over his shoulder
 and rubbed his hands together. "C'mon out, guys! Coast is clear!"

 Berri and Rodent phased in alongside him.

 Cloud buried his head in his hands. "Less alcohol and you wouldn't be in this
 situation, Cloud..."

 "Woohoo!" Rodent chirped. "New arrivals!"

 "Like, now who are THESE people?" Berri sighed.

 "Anyways, back to my story," Ultimanium laughed. "When I entered the dimension
 to get Conker, I built a new probe beforehand with some new features to help us
 out, the J3. When we got Conker, Berri, and Rodent, there were only three Chosen
 remaining to get in the fifth dimension. I sent out Conker to claim everybody
 else. Take it away, Conker."

 Conker stepped forward. "Three Chosen were left... people named Serge, Karsh,
 and Kid. I was able to find Serge easy enough, but as I began searching for
 Karsh and Kid, it began apparent that Ultramagnus was trying as hard as he could
 to fuck things up, and..."

 "We have children in the audience." Ultimanium interupted, somewhat annoyed.

 "... oh, yeah, sorry. Anyways, it was clear to see that Ultramagnus was trying
 to screw us up. He threw some robotic cronie into the mix to stall us, but we
 were able to get the three Chosen back to the ship successfully. C'mon out,
 guys!"

 Serge, Karsh and Kid phased onstage.

 Lord Raul stepped up. "Serge, Karsh, Kid... meet the Ultimatum crew."

 Serge and Kid waved. Karsh just kind of stood there.

 "What, this is what we get? A bunch of kids and guys with weird haircuts?" Karsh
 shouted.

 Vegeta shot up. "Silence! I am a Super Saiyan, and superior to you in every way!
 Pipe down or become an imprint on my boot!!"

 "God, shut up already! I'll take you right now!" Karsh yelled.

 Ultimanium stepped in Karsh and Vegeta's line of sight. "C'mon, guys.. cool
 down."

 Vegeta slowly returned to his seat. Karsh turned slowly away from Vegeta's
 position.

 "Anyways," Ultimanium stated. "Ultramagnus didn't stop there. He needed a new
 home. Last I heard, he has completely obliterated the domain of the third
 dimension and now rules over it with an iron fist. Thousands have fell at his
 hands. He had to be stopped. That's where you, the Ultimatum battlers, fell in.
 You are the only hope for this wasteland of the third dimension."

 Ultimanium rose up his hands. "And that's where you are now. You all will be
 appointed into Ultimanium's Battalion, the strike force against Ultramagnus. You
 will live aboard this ship, the Argetlahm, for the next several weeks, months,
 years... whatever it takes to defeat Ultramagnus. I trust you with all of my
 resources to make a plan and strike successfully. That is all I have to say. I
 will..."

 Gohan stuck up his hand. "Er... Ultimanium? Before you go any further, could you
 explain this entire dimension thing to us? I'm kind of lost here."

 "Yeah, now that you mention it, I could use a refresh." Kari said.

 "Me too." Cloud said.





 A bright-green six-tiered structure appeared in the hologram generator.

 Ultimanium turned out to his expectant crowd. "The Dimensions. Ultimanium's
 view."

 "Alright. We all know how alternate dimensions work, right? For every choice you
 make in your life, there is a split right there and two seperate dimensions
 continue on, each with a different resolution to the problem. This continues on
 for any person, any body until the number of possible directions numbers
 virtually infinite."

 "The Zeal Dimensional Theory states that while all these dimensions do in fact
 exist, they are not easy to traverse, with the amount of space-time bending that
 goes on to make bridging dimensions possible. To this extent, only dimensions
 three tiers up or three tiers down may be reached with Zeal machinery, and that
 is all that is physically possible. While the six dimensions accessible to us
 differ radically, they remain constant for each person, an anolomy if you will.
 These are known as the Six Dimensions."

 "Dimensions work rather understandably... For each dimension you are in, the
 previous three tiers are accessible for editing, while the current dimension
 runs in the background and cannot be physcially affected. For example, in the
 fourth dimension, you can move physically freely, being a three dimensional
 object. And while time runs in the background and takes its toll on you, it can
 never truly step in and edit time as you please. The fifth dimension is similar,
 as well. Three dimensional movement is possible and time travel was acheived
 through the efforts of the Guru of Time that lived in the Zeal kingdom, a man by
 the name of Belthasar. He was the one that designed and implemented the
 technology of time travel. And the current tier, the fifth dimension, the very
 editing of reality itself, can be achieved partially through magic, the art of
 wielding the earth's elements as you please."

 Kid snapped her fingers. "Yeah! You mean Elements, right?"

 "Exactly."

 Tai rubbed his chin. "Hey, you said Ultramagnus invaded the third dimension,
 right?"

 "Yes."

 "Well, that's probably why he would want it! He can move around in 3D as he
 pleases, and theoretically, time doesn't exist! He would be immortal in an
 enviroment like that!"

 "Correct, Tai. Ultramagnus could not die of old age or hunger or any other
 time-related death in a world like that. And as long as he retains his power
 level, he would be virtually invincible."

 "The third dimension itself is a wonderful place. It is easily the most
 technologically advanced of the dimensions, even though it does not have
 artifical time travel. There is no death, no poverty, every single intelligent
 mind ever conceived since the creation of the Earth lives. However, with
 Ultramagnus' recent intervention, we can't expect it to stay that way much
 longer." Ultimanium spoke.

 "And we're all here to save the third dimension, whatever the cost." Raul added.

 "Ultramagnus, upon invading the third dimension, banished the good self that
 ruled that world into the first dimension. However, we were able to save him
 before the dimensional guidelines reverted him to his linear form. C'mon out,
 Magnus."

 Magnus shifted onto the stage. "I cannot thank you enough, Ultimanium. I will
 come with you on your adventure to liberate the third dimension." He shifted
 off.

 Ultimanium grinned. "Yeah, he's pretty tired. That is all I have to say to you,
 heroes."

 TK stood up. "Hey, Ulty. We're still in the fourth dimension, right?"

 "No. We're in the first dimension. One feature of the J3 is that it is capable
 of setting up anti-dimensional fields while the J2 is not. Basically, as long as
 we stay in the first or second dimensions, Ultramagnus can't touch us."

 Ultimanium grimaced. "Enough of that. I imagine you're all pretty tired from all
 this dimension jumping business. Back in the turbolift, one floor down. All the
 male bunks are down there, female bunks are below that, a training centre and
 the rec room are on the floor below that. Everything on that floor you can use.
 The last floor below that is off limits. Understood?"

 Cloud smiled evily.

 "Don't even think about panty raids," Ultimanium sighed. "There WILL be a
 barrier down there that prevents members from the opposite sex from making it to
 the other end of the barrier."

 "Wait a minute," Davis spoke. "I can't fight without..."

 "Veeeeeeeeeeemon!!!"

 Davis sweatdropped to find Veemon sitting on his lap. Veemon, seeing the new
 audience of people to impress, hopped up on Ultimanium's stage.

 "That's V for Victory! V for Valiant! V for Vicious! V for Vigorous!" Veemon
 wailed, while leaping into various combat poses.

 "...V for Vanity. V for Vulnerability. V for Valueless." Patamon droned on.

 "...where did you guys come from?" Kari asked, surprised to find Gatomon perched
 on her shoulder.

 "We were about to ask you the same question." Gatomon gasped. Her vision danced
 around the quasi-theatre at the various other attendees.

 "Heeeeey everybody!" Agumon shouted as he ran down the war room aisle and turned
 into Tai's position.

 Armadillomon dropped from the celing and landed in front of Cody.




 *Keyvan putts around the aisles on a moped and tosses out sheets of paper*

 Goku caught a flying flier

 Keyvan :  How ironic.

 and looked through it. "Alright, who the hell was that?"

 He got no reply.

 On the sheet the bunks were listed...



 MENS BUNKS


 1. Conker/Davis
 2. TK/Lord Raul
 3. Tai/Serge
 4. Cody/Squall
 5. Karsh/Vegeta
 6. Rodent/Gohan
 7. Goku
 8. Cloud

 WOMENS BUNKS


 1. Berri/Kid
 2. Kari/Gatomon


 MISC BUNKS


 1. Veemon/Agumon/Patamon/Armadillomon




 Veemon held his sheet to his side and slapped his forehead. "Great, I'm an It."

 Agumon wrapped his arms around Patamon and Veemon and brought them together in a
 hug. "Are we gonna be great bunk buddies or whaaaaaat?!"

 Armadillomon sweatdropped. "You guys... go to your bunks and... yeah. I think
 I'm going to bunk with that fellow Goku."



 Everybody just kind of trudged off and settled in their bunks and went to sleep.
 However, not one of them could shake the thought of the impending weeks ahead.
 Would they live through this? Happy and negative thoughts were in reach of
 everybody. It was all a matter of being positive. Tomorrow was going to be a big
 day.


 END OF CHAPTER 1





 Argetlahm Bunks
 Day 2, 4:45 AM


 Rodent rolled off the top bunk and hit the ground with a loud clang. Gohan
 opened an eye and looked down at the immoblie Rodent.

 "Oh man, do you have to sleep in that thing?" Gohan laughed.

 Rodent leaped to his feet and brushed himself off. "Bulletproof armor. Never
 leave home without it."

 Gohan shook his head. "Whatever." He reached across from him and grabbed a back
 issue of Nintendo Power of his and started flipping through it.



 The bunks were generally similar in style. Each was a normal-sized room, with an
 indentation in the wall where the bunks lied. The top bunk was chained to the
 wall above the lower one, and both had compartments in the wall for personal
 belongings. Asides from the bunks was an indented desk with a computer terminal
 embedded in it and an accompanying swivel chair. A pair of makeshift metal
 drawers lined off the room.


 Rodent opened a drawer, getting out his clothes. He slid on his combat uniform.
 Strangely, personal possessions of the two had already dotted the room when they
 arrived. Gohan eventually dragged himself out of bed and dressed up in his
 normal, comfortable gi. He stretched and followed Rodent out to the turbolift.

 ********

 Karsh shot up in bed. He quickly checked the wall clock. Great, 4:58. Nobody
 would be in the training room and he could check it out and have a little
 practice session to himself. He always trained better by himself, though he
 refused to admit it. He got into his uniform and swiped his axe off of the
 dresser and headed for the turbolift. He tapped a button on the control panel
 and the pod shot down almost instantaneously to the next floor. He plodded down
 the hall and threw open the double doors leading into the gym where training
 grounds were placed...

 And found Vegeta there.

 Vegeta sat and threw random punches and kicks into the air, trying to go faster
 and harder with each assault.

 Karsh threw his foot down. "Damn it! Vegeta! What the hell are YOU doing up
 here?"

 Vegeta stopped and slowly turned his head to Karsh. "Training. What the hell are
 YOU doing up here?"

 "Training! What the hell are YOU doing up here?" Karsh mocked.

 "Training! What the hell are YOU doing up here?" Vegeta mocked back.

 "Training! What the hell are YOU doing up here?"

 "Training! What the hell are YOU doing up here?"

 "Training! What the hell are YOU doing up here?"

 "Training! What the hell are YOU doing up here?"

 "Frick, stop it, guys!!" Conker yelled.

 Karsh and Vegeta stopped staring eachother down to notice Conker standing in the
 doorway, alongside Davis.

 Davis slowly walked in and looked up at the massive arena around him.
 "...whoa..."



 The training grounds of the Argetlahm are a combination of any other type of
 training centre you can think of. The main gym, a wide, clear open space was
 clearly built for the wide open melees of the Z fighters. Off in the distance,
 doors led into a weight room, a shooting range, and a small enclosed room with
 several bookcases. Far off in the other corner, against the wall there was a
 large concrete tank with a window on the side showing a bubbling green liquid.

 Davis folded his arms. "Now THAT'S accessorizing. What's the green crap?"

 Conker shrugged. "Hell if I know. That wasn't there last I checked."

 Cody tugged on Davis' jacket. "Hey, Davis."

 "Hey, Cody! You guys already up?"

 "Yeah. We were going to join in on training. You wanna come help wake the
 digimon up?"

 ********

 Armadillomon sat on his back and stared dazingly at the unfashionable grey steel
 platform above his head. He hated it.

 Or, more, the snoring Goku on top of it.

 Armadillomon climbed off of the bed, shaking his head. Two hours of sleep. Maybe
 ditching Veemon and the gang WASN'T such a good idea. He began to stumble toward
 the door on the far end of the room when Cody flung it open and sent him flying
 into the wall opposite.

 "Armadillomon? ... oh, there you are. C'mon." Cody picked up the dazed
 Armadillomon and began to make his way down the hall to the turbolift. "Hey,
 Davis. Try the miscellaneous rooms, Veemon and them might be there."

 "No prob, I'll be right over there."

 ********

 Like many other people, Tai was taking time off to stare at the celing.

 "So, lemme get this straight..." Tai said. He reached for the two Ultima Weapon
 blades that sat in his personal compartment. "The Mastermune is a battlestaff
 too?"

 "Swallow." Serge sighed.

 "No thanks."

 "No, that's what it's called. A swallow."

 Tai sat to comtemplate the immeasurable might of the ultimate weapon, the
 Mastermune, the... swallow. Tai collapsed to his bed again laughing his head
 off.

 Serge lied face down. "This is NEVER going to blow over..."

 "Blow? Swallow? Make up your mind!!" Tai pounded the bed again, laughing all the
 way.

 "I'd like to see YOU think up a better name."

 Tai thought for a second. "...Zidane called it a thief sword. I would rather say
 that than... SWALLOW!! BWHAAHAHAHAAHAH!!!!"

 Serge sighed. "Thief sword. Not too much of a sword. Daggers. Or, if it was a
 single-shafted weapon at some point, a..." He stopped. "....swallow."

 Tai began losing breath. "WHAHAAHAHAHAHAH... WHAHAHAHAH...WAHAHAAHAHA...
 HAHAH..." He began coughing. "Still.. *hack* you have to be nuts to call it a...
 SWALLOW!! BHWHAAHAHAAH...."

 Serge stuck his head underneath his pillow. "...forget it..."

 ********

 TK was following the old time tradition of... you guessed it... celing-watching.

 "So you're Lord Raul..."

 "Point being?"

 "Well... do you understand Ultimanium any? Like, do you know why we're really
 here?

 "That's what we are here for, Takeru." Raul sighed.

 "....how do you know my name?"

 "We're all friends around here."

 ********

 Patamon hovered away from his bundled blankets on the bunk. He shook Agumon
 awake.

 "Hey.. yeah? Patamon? What's going on?"

 The miscellaneous bunk was just like any other, except for the valid difference
 that the wall behind the computer had been torn out, essentially making the
 entire bunk one room.

 "Well.." Patamon moaned. "..have you seen Veemon?"

 ********

 The turbolift slid to a halt, and Veemon stepped out into the hall ahead of him.
 He gave a cautious glance to the corridor ahead of him, covered in a deep red
 glaze given off by the hall lights. No, nothing was wrong here. But Veemon
 should've known better.

 Veemon folded his arms. "Ha! I KNEW he would've made something like that up! I
 guess I'll be on my way there then.."

 Veemon took a step forward and heard a faint crackle. He looked around
 nervously.

 "...yeah, just playing with my mind..."

 Veemon took another step forward, and a 10,000 volt shock shot through his body,
 sending the smoking digimon flying back down the hall, and slamming against the
 closed steel doors of the turbolift.

 He choked out a cough. "...Maybe I should wait until Gatomon comes out next
 time."

 Kari stepped out of a nearby room and looked at the recently charred Veemon.
 "ughh... Veemon? What are you doing down here?"

 Veemon sweatdropped and leaped back to his feet. "er.. um.. checking if you were
 awake. That's it, yeah! Well, see ya! Gotta train! Yeah... yeah! That's it.
 Yeah!" The turbolift doors flew open and Veemon flung himself inside. With a
 hum, the lift shot back to the top of the shaft.

 Gatomon walked out of the room, stretching. "Who was it?"

 Kari smiled at Gatomon. "A secret admirer. You might know him."

 Gatomon frowned. "Not again."

 "Geez, Gato, what's wrong with you? A week ago you were head over he..."

 "Don't start, Kari. I only went along with him to get information on the Quad
 DNA Digivolve, because I knew there was only one other way I could get close
 enough."

 Kari sulked. "If Veemon knew that, he'd be heartbroken."

 Gatomon shrugged. "You win some, you lose some. Veemon just loses a lot."

 ********



 A message crackled over the loudspeakers in the halls of the Argetlahm.

 "Wake up, everybody. One thing you should know aboard the Argetlahm is that
 while you will train how you please, we will have a strict curfew. Lights out at
 11:00 PM, lights on at 5:00 AM. I want everybody to take the turbolift the the
 floor above the war room. We are having breakfast, and I need to speak to all of
 you for a second. Thank you."


 The turbolift clanked at the top of the shaft. Everybody stepped out of it into
 the mess hall of the ship. Not really that large, the hall only had around 60
 seats, but it was large enough to host. Three buffet tables lined the east wall.
 Each group sat down together at their corresponding tables.

 Ultimanium stepped out of a back room and looked around at his group.
 "...where's Cloud?"

 The turbolift hit the top of the shaft again, and a halfdressed, unshaven Cloud
 stepped out and sat down next to Kid. Everybody at the table got up and moved
 down one seat.

 Ultimanium sweatdropped. "Well.. anyways... welcome to the mess hall. Meals will
 be held here.. breakfast at 600 hours, lunch at 1300 hours, and supper at 2000
 hours. No ifs, ands, or buts. But the real reason I've summoned you all here is
 that I will be announcing our first strike at Ultramagnus." he set down a small
 holographic projector on the table and flipped it on. The entire west wall was
 covered with a bright green topographical map.

 "We will be heading to the third dimension soon," Ultimanium announced. "Our
 first mission will be to sabotage an android assembly plant on the outskirts of
 Magnopolis, the world's subcapital. I need you to divide into two teams. One
 will get in through a back entrance using the J3, and the other will launch a
 frontal assault on the plant to attract attention. I leave the decision up to
 you, but I suggest using your melee fighters to sneak and the tougher mobile
 ones to attack. Come with your decisions to me."

 The projector turned off. Everybody quickly huddled in the center of the room.

 "Alright," Tai whispered. "Me, Davis, and TK will attack. Does anyone want to
 come with us?"

 "Me and Gohan will," Goku said. "We have projectile attacks."

 "I'll come too," Conker said. "I got the guns. Berri'll back us up, I'll outfit
 her."

 Tai pointed and divided the group into two. "Kari, Cody, Serge, Kid, Karsh,
 Cloud, and Squall will do the sneaking."

 Rodent hopped up and down. "What about meeeeee?!"

 "Rodent," Tai pointed. "You're recon."

 Rodent sulked. "Figures."

 Vegeta folded his arms. "Hah! That must be painful! While us warriors are out
 doing the work...."

 Tai looked up. "Vegeta, you're on recon too."

 Vegeta slammed a fist down on the table. "WHAAAT?!?"

 "Aw, don't worry. It's not too hard. Just sit tight and warn us if anything's
 coming, and..."

 "I can't believe this!!" Vegeta threw over the table and plowed through the mess
 hall double doors.

 Ultimanium turned back away from the entrance. "So you have your teams then?"

 Kid jotted down the listing on a piece of paper and slid it across the table to
 Ultimanium. "Sure do."


 ASSAULT TEAM

 Davis
 Veemon
 Taichi
 Agumon
 Takeru
 Patamon
 Goku
 Gohan
 Conker
 Berri


 COVERT TEAM

 Kari
 Gatomon
 Cody
 Armadillomon
 Serge
 Kid
 Karsh
 Cloud
 Squall


 RECON

 Vegeta
 Rodent



 Ultimanium looked up from his sheet. "So you have recons. They should be
 escorting the covert team. Vegeta and Rodent can set up on the mesa southwest of
 the plant, here." Ultimanium pointed at a small extension on the holomap. "In
 two hours we'll begin shifting you guys in, at the dropzone shown here." A large
 red X appeared in the topleft corner of the map. "A bit of a way to walk to the
 plant, but you shouldn't have a problem getting there, and you won't be detected
 until you actually enter the factory limits. That is all I have to say. Good
 luck, heroes."



 Two hours passed, and the entire group was huddled close in the expansive export
 hangar of the Argetlahm. A force field was the only keeping anybody from being
 sucked out into linear space.

 Veemon plodded alongside Davis to the large dropship waiting for them in the
 centre of the large chamber. "Hitching off of the J3 sounds kinda disorienting."

 Davis turned back. "Don't worry, 10 minutes and we'll be near Magnopolis. Just
 keep that in mind and maybe we won't get sick.. or get jet lag.... or stuff..
 who am I kidding, this is screwed up. Just sit tight and hold on."

 Goku climbed into the grey-plated transport. "Can't be much faster than a Saiyan
 space pod, could it be that bad..."

 Gohan, on the other hand, was already getting sick.

 Tai buckled himself into the heavily padded seat in the dropship, as did Agumon.
 Both winced as they thought about being thrown forward in their seats from the
 dimensional jump. Kari, Cody, TK and their respective digimon all followed suit.
 Serge, Kid, Karsh all secured themselves in their backseats and shuddered.

 Cloud hoisted himself onto the floor platform of the dropship. "Just out of
 curiosity, does anyone have any idea how to pilot this thing?"

 Berri sat crosslegged in the passenger seat. Conker slumped into the pilot chair
 and examined the control panels ahead of him carefully. "...I think I can
 operate it. Just a second."

 Conker glanced around, and found the toggle he was looked for. As the switch
 snapped back, Magnus' face filled the transmission screen in the ship celing
 ahead of Conker.

 "Dropship Sigma cleared for takeoff."

 Conker drummed his hands on the armrests. "....Magnus? Do you have any idea how
 to work this thing?"

 "It should be easy. The J3 is routed into its engines. You just have to engage
 the solid thrusters and jump the dimension how you would with the J3 by itself."

 Conker looked around. The printer panel from the J3 lied in front of him.
 "Gotcha. Hold on! Hyperspeed!" He reached forward and threw the switch, throwing
 the dropship out of the hangar of the Argetlahm with a massive blast of the
 engines. The Sigma screeched to a halt as fast as it started.

 Berri peered over beside her headrest. "Everyone alright there?"

 Every single person in the cabin was pale white, not breathing, eyes wide and
 bloodshot.

 Conker threw another joystick forward. "Note to self, DON'T start with
 afterburners. Oops."

 A green-white rift tore open in front of the dropship. Without rousing its
 passengers once again, the ship slowly hovered into the dimensional rip and
 disappeared.



 END OF CHAPTER 2







 MISSION #1 - Unsynchronize

 Sabotage eastern military android assembly plant outside of Magnopolis. Shut
 down the assembly line using any means necessary. Use of lethal force
 authorized. Danger level is classified under Defcon 1.

 ASSAULT TEAM will breach the front doors of the compound and attack the lobby of
 the building and draw attention of security forces away from the production
 facilities. COVERT TEAM will use the J3 to shift into the back of the building
 and attack the main assembly line. RECONS will survey the shift of the J3 and
 escort the COVERT TEAM if necessary.

 Secondary objective - if possible, obtain blueprints of current and future
 androids in development. This will help our attacks on other android plants and
 Ultramagnus' private military.

 Good luck.






 Squall stepped out unto the rough soil beneath him. "I don't see much
 happy-happy in the vincinity."

 Gatomon hopped out and surveyed the surroundings. "What's went on here..."

 Everybody slowly made their way out of the dropship and gave a nervous look at
 the surroundings. The place was a complete wasteland. Rocky hills dotted the
 landscape outside of the valley that the dropship had landed, with the
 occaisional rare blade of grass growing. A dull yellow glow filled the sky,
 dotted with grey clouds.

 "Whoa, there's more tobacco smoke in a mile radius than fucking South America!"
 Cloud groaned. "Let's do this fast, so we can get out of here."

 Kari looked solemnly across the land that stretched in front of her. "..I can't
 believe this! What went on here?!"

 Conker sighed, and choked out a cough. "What Ultimanium said. Ultramagnus
 totally wasted this dimension. The android plants pour out an insane amount of
 pollution. Vegetation exists nowhere in this planescape, and in the few places
 where it does, it barely survives. The entire planet is in a state of permanent
 ecological disrepair. Another side effect of Ultramagnus.. we say he has to be
 stopped, and this is what we mean."

 Goku hovered up and watched the distant gigantic megalopolis off in the
 distance. Several tall smokestacks around a spire in the center of the city
 poured off smoke. "Magnopolis, right? How many people live there?"

 "456,000,000."

 "What? How can people live in a place like that?!"

 "1, not counting androids."

 "Oh," Goku sighed.

 "How can Ultramagnus do a thing like this to Earth?!" Serge yelled. "That
 monster..."

 "Alright, guys," Davis interrupted. "If you have fury to put out, put it out
 against the android plant."

 "Right," Tai said. "Alright, everybody, get into position."




 The Assault Team marched onwards down the path ahead of them, leading to the
 entrance of the massive factory. The Recons and Covert Team hopped back into the
 Sigma and shifted to the rear of the plant.


 ********

 Rodent drove the tripod into the ground and sat a telescope on top of it. Vegeta
 sat in the distance, growling to himself. Rodent glanced at the immensely bored
 Saiyan, and went back to adjusting the settings on his scope.

 "More of a fighter type, huh?" Rodent laughed. He got no response.

 Rodent shook his head. "If I know a group like that, they're going to need help
 at some point. There's five guards around that entrance. The Covert Team is
 never going to get in there on their own."

 Vegeta leaped to his feet. "If the Covert Team can't handle it themselves, I'll
 go down there and destroy every single android myself!!"

 "Whoa, man. Calm down. We'll just sit tight and wait to see how they do."

 Vegeta scowled to himself, and returned to his seat. They had sure as hell
 better not handle it by themselves.

 ********

 Patamon looked down from his vantage point several thousand feet off the ground.
 The main entrance had at least 20 androids standing guard. He sighed to himself
 and began thinking of ways to get by. "I guess you would want that many to
 defend a marble entrance like that. Why you need a marble structure for a
 factory is beyond me."

 Davis and Goku poked their heads over their starting hill, a good 80 feet from
 the heavily-guarded front entrance. Davis shook his head. "There's no way we can
 take that many."

 "We can take all the time we want killing them," Goku said. "We have to cause a
 commotion, anyways."

 Veemon hopped forward. "You want a commotion? I'll give those buckets of bolts a
 commotion! I'll give em a left and a ..mpphh."

 Agumon kept his hand over Veemon's mouth. "What are you trying to do, get us
 killed? If they know we're here, THEY'LL attack, and we won't attract the
 defense!"

 Conker carried a chaingun up with both hands. "Are we going in anytime soon?"

 Berri sat poised next to Davis. "Just waiting for a good oppritunity, that's
 all."

 TK rubbed his chin. "We need more strategy than I thought." Patamon landed down
 next to him.

 "No luck. I don't think we have a choice but to charge in there."

 **********

 "But it's a back entrance!"

 Squall shrugged. "Five guys. We can take it."

 "We chose teams with the thought in mind the Assault Team would be the ones
 running into resistance," Cody sighed. "We can attack the back entrance, but I
 can't guarantee anything."

 "We outnumber them," Karsh pointed. "As long as they aren't as bad as the
 android we fought before, we should be alright."

 "I sure as hell hope." Kid sighed.

 "Do we have the resources to take out five at once?" Kari asked.

 "We have to worry about precision," Serge explained. "I can use Flying Arrow..."

 Karsh grinned. "I can just charge one."

 "And me." Kid said.

 "Celestial Arrow is pretty singular-based," Gatomon said. "I think it could be
 used for sniping."

 "And I'll rush one too." Cloud announced.

 "Then it's settled," Cody said. "Everybody get in your positions and wait for a
 signal from the Assault Team."

 ********

 Tai's heart skipped a beat. "It's just another run, Tai... okay! Let's do this!"
 Brandishing a digivice, the tiny Agumon was replaced with the
 bit-more-intimidating Wargreymon. Angemon and Exveemon waited on his flanks.
 Davis had his Buster Sword ready, and Tai had his pair of Ultima blades on
 standby as well. Goku and Gohan sat, waitng for a sign. Conker suspended his
 chaingun on a heap of dirt. Berri had the pair of uzis ready.

 Davis lept forward. "Chaaaaaarge!!"

 The androids turned to face a wave of angry Chosen bearing down on them.
 Everybody lept in and started beating on the closest android they could get to.

 Conker tossed the chaingun to his side. "I forgot, guns aren't going to work. We
 have to get dirty too."

 Berri stood up and sheathed her uzis. "But if they can beat them using their
 hands..."

 "Believe me, some people use their hands in special ways."

 Including Goku, who fired an energy blast that blew off the head of the last
 android to take notice of the fight.

 Clashes, punches and thuds echoed around Tai as he stuck his head out of the
 massive brawl cumulating in front of the factory. "1 down! 19 to go!" Tai
 whipped around and slashed at an android bearing down on him by impulse. He
 hadn't actually expected the blades to cut through the robot, but the two halves
 hit the ground. Sparks danced around Tai's feet. He looked around with a big
 grin on his face. "Wish THAT was recorded."

 Wargreymon tossed an android to Exveemon, who nailed it with a bicycle kick and
 sent it sailing through a window of the building. At this point, a klaxon went
 off.


 *SECURITY BREACH DETECTED! All personnel report to factory sector 1A, Main
 Entrance! Repeat, all personnel report to Main Entrance!*

 ********

 Serge picked up the J3 as a message crackled onto its screen. "Rodent? What's
 up?"

 "Security is making its way to the main entrance! You've got a path ahead of
 you, take it!!"

 "Celestial Arrow!!" A recently initiated Angewomon yelled.

 A pink bolt of energy sailed from the sky and impaled an android, making it
 explode. Cloud, Karsh, Kid and Serge all charged in and held the remaining
 androids down and began hacking away at them.

 "Now's our chance!" Cody yelled. "Everybody! Move! Move! Move!!"

 Kari, Cody, Armadillomon and Squall all winded their way through the battlefield
 to the import entrance. With some effort, they all lifted the heavy metal
 sliding door and got in.

 ********

 Conker leaped and stomped another android in the face. "Hey! Guys!"

 "V-Laser!!"

 A bright beam of light roared past Conker and blasted down the double doors
 leading into the factory and most of the structuring around it. Wargreymon
 rushed up and began sweeping the rubble away.

 "Tai! Everybody!" he bellowed. "Get in there and do as much damage as you can!!"

 Davis whipped around as another 5 androids charged at him. He reached for the
 green gem in the base of the sword and concentrated hard. "ULTIMA!!"

 The signature green mushroom cloud rose up and incinerated each android in a
 flash. When Davis got his vision back, cinders blew in the gentle wind.

 ********

 While no one was looking, Vegeta snuck off from his recon position and slid down
 the steep mesa to the centersection of the factory. He bashed through the window
 with his elbow and leaped in. 10 androids stood in front of him.

 "....HAAAAA!!!" A massive laser tore down the corridor and sent the androids
 down with it. They flew out the other end of the factory, leveling a large
 portion of the wall on that side.

 Goku, Exveemon and Angemon charged on by. "Vegeta!!" Goku yelled. "Recon was
 boring I presume?"

 "Funny, Kakarot," Vegeta smirked. "Are you all headed for the production
 centre?"

 "Gooold Rush!!!"

 Several obscenely large drill bits flew down the hall and decapitated another 3
 androids. Vegeta glanced over to see a newly digivolved Digmon and Cody on its
 side.

 "We've found it!" Exveemon exclaimed. "Everybody regroup here, and let's get
 this conveyor going... to hell, of course!!"




 ********



 Ultramagnus was enjoying a particularly normal game of Diablo II on his computer
 terminal when all of a sudden the program froze. He quickly minimized it and
 glanced at his message bar along the top of his screen.

 "A message from Minonim.. now what the hell does he want?"



 EMERGENCY TRANSMISSION

 Priority 10


 East Magnopolis Android Assembly Plant has been knocked offline - security
 forces are unresponding. Send reinforcements to coordinate Beta. Automated
 security has ceased to operate.




 Ultramagnus shot up in his chair. "What the hell?!"

 He grit his teeth. "Ultimanium!! That prick!! He sent his little soldiers out to
 do his work, huh? Damn it, if I had checked my messages before, this wouldn'tve
 happened!!! URRRGGGHHH!!!!

 "MINONIM!!!"

 The display lit up. "Y-yes, master..."

 "Minonim! Deploy the MPs to the remaining district android assembly plants! I
 don't want to see anything like this happen again, otherwise I'll be using your
 motherboard as a backscratcher!!! UNDERSTOOD?!?"

 Minonim cowered. "Yes.. m-master..."

 The display blinked off. Ultramagnus got up and paced around his office. If he
 wasn't so stupid, those damn Chosen would be dead right now! ... oh well.
 Ultramagnus finally knew that the Chosen had began their assault, and he would
 know what to expect... Ultimanium and his little army aren't getting off so easy
 next time, he was sure...


 ********


 "Terra Force!!"

 Another bright ball of energy slammed down upon the ground. A mushroom cloud of
 debris rose up from where the factory once stood.

 A cheer rose out from the crowd. The hologram projector turned off.

 "Excellently done," Ultimanium laughed. "we won't have to worry about androids
 from THAT plant any longer. You all have done well and proved not only your
 combat skills again, but teamwork. As a reward, you will be given a two day
 holiday, with curfew removed."

 "Yeeeeah!!" Veemon wailed.

 "After that, we will resume our assault. While you have a holiday ahead of you,
 I suggest you still train somewhat during that time so you don't get rusty. I
 would also suggest that some of you use ALL of the facilities within the
 training centre, not just the arena. In the library, I have some new techniques
 that may prove useful to all of you. And, as of now, the Rec Room will be opened
 for access."

 Gohan's mouth watered. "..TV..."

 "I will leave you with that. Have a well earned supper, and see you around."

 As everybody began to file out of the mess hall, ready to return to their bunks
 for a long nap, Ultimanium stepped forward. "Cody, Kari."

 Both Digidestined turned.

 "Thanks for going in and getting the android plans. We should have a better idea
 of what we're up against for our next assault."




 So everybody laid down in their bunks, tired from the heated attack. They were
 going to enjoy this holiday.

 Well, some of them, anyways.




 END OF CHAPTER 3








 Argetlahm Mess Hall Entrance
 Day 3, 5:48 AM


 A hungry Goku kept watch of the mess hall double doors. They had to open. Soon.
 Goku was going to go into a fit and Kamehameha the ship into giblets if he
 didn't get breakfast soon.

 Squall walked over to Goku, still streching from his long slumber. "What's for
 breakfast?"

 Goku shrugged. "Beats me. Ultimanium hasn't displayed the special yet."

 Both Goku and Squall glanced at a small chalkboard to the right and above the
 double doors. Written at the top of it, in bold chalk lettering, was SPECIAL.
 The space underneath it was empty.

 Agumon walked up. "Morning, guys. Hey, what's the special?"

 "Hell if we know." Squall sighed.

 Agumon grinned. "Ooooh! I loooove surprises!"

 Goku looked up. "Yeah, that's it. We're probably getting a really fancy
 breakfast today! Damn, man.. hurry up and open the door!"

 The remainder of the crew marched up on behind them as the massive gates swung
 open. The quickly made their way inside to grab their plates off the table, and
 turned to the buffet tables. They weren't there.

 "Heeey!" Armadillomon chirped. "Where's the grub?"

 Ultimanium had his feet propped up on the table. "The tables are over there.
 Sorry, guys, we have nutrient supplement this morning."

 Everybody let out a collective "WHAAAT?!?", with random people sweatdropping,
 anime falling, or getting devil heads.

 "I train hard for your purpose!" Vegeta scowled. "I at the very least expect a
 hearty meal!"

 "Yeah!" Cloud piped.

 Ultimanium shook his head. "Sorry, guys. I didn't check our food stores until
 this morning, and besides, I didn't think you guys would eat all what we had so
 fast. Me, Lord Raul and Magnus are going out to the fifth dimension this morning
 to order another shipment of groceries, so we'll be out for a while. I wouldn't
 expect us to be back before 10:00 PM."

 Everybody sulked.

 "I'll make it up to you guys. Country-style mac and cheese, tomorrow lunch?"

 Everybody hopped back forward, all sporting mile-wide grins.

 "Okay. Then it's settled. I'll be leaving in about an hour."

 With that, the enitre group went to get their supplements, somewhat disgusted at
 the pasty substance.

 "Conker?" Ultimanium asked. "Can I talk to you for a second?"

 Conker turned around and sat down across from Ultimanium. "Yeah, sure."

 Ultimanium righted his feet beneath the table. "Alright, Conker. I have to trust
 you for today. Can I?"

 "Yeah, sure, what's the deal?"

 "You heard we'll be going out. Me, Lord Raul or Magnus won't be on the ship, so
 the command of the Argetlahm falls to the next highest ranked person, which
 would be you."





 After a long pause, Conker stopped grinning. "Okay, so what do I have to do?"

 Ultimanium shrugged. "Oh, it's pretty simple. Serve the nutrient supplements at
 lunch and supper, make sure everyone gets along, and basically make sure the
 Argetlahm isn't destroyed by the time we get back."

 Conker glanced nervously at the swarm of passengers in a brawl over the nutrient
 supplement. "..well... I guess..."

 "Well then," Ultimanium stood up. "There's some things I need to show you so you
 can run the Argetlahm properly. Come with me."


 ********


 Conker threw the joystick forward. The Argetlahm lurched slightly.

 "Yes, Conker, that one controls the thrusters. Can we move on yet?"

 Conker removed his hand from the joystick. "Oh, sorry. Then?"

 Ultimanium folded his arms and stared off into space. "The defense turrets on
 the faces of the ship can be manned by the Chosen if needed. But the Argetlahm
 itself has a heavy defense shield surrounding it, so you should be alright."

 Conker gazed down onto a computer panel off to the side. "What's that?"

 "That is the security master control," Ultimanium explained. "There are various
 settings in the program to affect who gets where on the ship. For imaginable
 reasons, you need a logon to change the security settings. Username Conker, the
 password is starwars."

 The panel hummed to life. Toggle switches lined the screen.

 "Block off people if they get annoying. One thing.. ALWAYS remember to log off
 when you are done modifying the security settings. Normally people will not get
 up to the bridge, but if they do, and they see an open security switcher, havoc
 ensues."

 "I know what you mean. Is that it?"

 Ultimanium began to walk away. "That is all. We will see you tonight, Conker.
 Make sure nothing happens."

 He phased off to the hangar. Several seconds later an engine could be heard
 humming, and the crackle of the dropship Sigma tearing into the fabric of
 reality.


 Conker waited a couple of seconds, and leaped into the swivel chair at the
 control panel and propped his feet up on it. "Oh yeah!..." He turned and opened
 the security control panel once again and scanned down through the listings,
 skipping through the majority of them. "5000 seperate security listings... is
 this ship that huge?"

 A listing at the bottom caught his eye.

 "Reserve Battle Energy Stores - 500,000... Battle Energy? Is this like the
 automated defense or something?" He reached over and pressed down on the button
 on the screen with his finger, indenting it. The display closed. Conker sat in
 his chair and waited for a minute, but nothing happened.

 "That was craptacular." Conker sighed. He began glancing through the other
 options on the panels in front of him.


 ********


 TK stepped into the gym, coughing. He couldn't believe it! Nutrient supplement!
 A large amount of the sticky paste he had given to Patamon, and he was currently
 in the bathroom, feeding it back to the porcelain god. He only hoped Patamon
 wasn't too sick... besides, in a while everybody else would pass through the
 bathroom, at least once today. He began to make his way over to the library on
 the other side of the room, but the mysterious tank of green liquid caught his
 attention. The concrete resivoir sat in its normal position, except a small
 window had opened in the top of it.

 TK spat on the ground ahead of him. There was no way he could get the taste of
 the flat nutrient mixture out of his mouth. The smell of green apples lightened
 things up a bit, though.

 "Where's that coming from..."

 He made his way over to the tank. He dipped a finger in the mixture and sucked
 on it.

 "Green apple," TK laughed. "This must be a storage for a sport drink or
 something."


 ********


 Conker looked back at the security panel.

 "Reserve Battle Energy Stores - ....499,994? Funny. The energy must be leaking
 out somewhere on the ship. I'd better shut it down before Ultimanium figures it
 out." He reached over and flicked the switch off.


 ********


 TK reached into the tank to grab another taste of the green energy drink. The
 open glass panel shot up and jammed his finger in place between the two panes of
 glass.

 "YYYAAAAAAUUUUUGGGGGHHHH!!!!" TK screamed. He yanked the bruised finger out of
 the slot and sucked on it.


 ********


 Goku stared ahead of him. The plate of raw nutrient sat half-finished in front
 of him.

 Tai sipped from a glass of water. "Hey, Goku. Somethin' wrong?"

 Goku turned his attention to Tai. "Takeru said he was going to the training
 centre to check out something, right?"

 "Yeah."

 "Well, his power level just rose by 5... that's from 20 to 25 in a period of 2
 minutes. I wonder what's going on down there."

 Tai sweatdropped. "Someone's bound to find out."

 The mess hall was empty save for Tai and Goku. Goku was half finished his
 mixture, while Tai hadn't even touched his yet.


 ********


 "What's up, Kari?" Gatomon asked, confused. "Aren't we training?"

 "Relax, Gatomon," Kari replied. "I just wanna see what this rec room is like,
 that's all."

 Kari and Gatomon turned the corner at the end of the hall, to stare straight at
 a sliding door with a radioactive sticker emblazoned on it. Various stickers
 were latched all over the door, the Quake logo, an Explosive sign, among others.
 Stenciled writing underneath the door read REC ROOM. Kari, somewhat perplexed,
 tossed open the door and stared inside.


 The room was fair sized, roughly twice as large as the Kamiyas' living room.
 Various entertainment centres caught Gatomon's empty gaze. Cloud and Squall sat
 against a pool table as Serge took a shot. Gohan, Kid, Karsh, Berri and
 Armadillomon were sitting on a large couch watching a big screen TV. On six
 arranged computers aside the pool table, Davis, Veemon, Agumon, Rodent, and Cody
 were all sitting at respective computers. Davis, Veemon, Rodent and Agumon were
 all mashing keys while Cody silently typed.

 Serge sunk the 7-ball.

 Gohan sat and attempted to ruminate the Jerry Springer Show. "Could someone
 explain this to me?"

 Karsh turned from his seat. "If you intend being a man anytime soon, I suggest
 you think about it. People fall in love, person also falls in love, person
 cripples person."

 Berri pointed. "Here it comes."

 *BLEEP BLEEP Kraaaasshhhhh*

 "He's going to feel that in the morning." Armadillomon laughed.



 *SoccerGod ate Wargreymon's rocket*
 *Wargreymon was gunned down by General*
 *General was railed by ImperialDeath*
 *SoccerGod was in the wrong place*
 *SoccerGod was in the wrong place*
 *SoccerGod was in the wrong place*
 *SoccerGod was gunned down by General*
 *SoccerGod was railed by ImperialDeath*

 Veemon took his hands off the mouse and cracked his knuckles. "SoccerGod -56,
 ImperialDeath, 18."

 Davis banged his head against the hardwood desk. "Veemon!! You're on my team!!"

 "No, I'm not, I'm with Wargreymon."

 "So let me get this straight, if I kill a team member, I lose a frag?"

 Agumon poked his head over the monitor. "Yeah."

 Davis glanced over to see Rodent glaring at him.

 Davis sweatdropped. "... you guys play your Quake 3 then, I'll kick all your
 asses when we get to Starcraft."

 *SoccerGod has left the game*

 Veemon turned to the eastern wall of the room, which had been turned into one
 massive CD rack. At least 1000 computer games dotted the wall. "WHEN we get to
 Starcraft."

 Davis threw his hands up in disgust and went to watch TV. Gatomon hopped up in
 his seat.

 *MagnaGoddess has joined the game*

 Cody looked over onto Agumon's screen. "Who would've thought."

 Agumon turned over to Cody. "Don't worry, it's always the people with the best
 names that suck."

 So Gatomon went forward and kicked everybody's asses with a final score of
 MagnaGoddess 426, Wargreymon 34, ImperialDeath 24, and General 8. After a hefty
 sweatdrop, the remaining players in the game left in haste.

 Gatomon hopped off the swivel chair, grinning. "Kari? You can surf now. No one's
 hogging bandwidth any longer."

 Kari climbed onto the seat next to Gatomon. She noticed a small sticky note
 pasted on the top left of the monitor.





 USERS OF COMPUTERS

 Given the Argetlahm is in a anti-dimensional barrier and therefore containing a
 small piece of fourth dimensional reality, any actions performed on the
 computers will behave as they would in the fourth dimension. So, before anyone
 asks, internet, e-mail and other internet applications would work as they
 normally would in the fourth dimension. Thank you.





 Kari removed the sheet and pasted it on the side of her monitor, and proceeded
 to check her e-mail.


 ********


 Conker rocked back and forth on the swivel chair. "Damn it! This is so boring!
 Maybe I'll just head on down to the rec room and check that place out... " He
 hopped out of the chair and made his way down the connector path to the
 turbolift at the far end of the hall, and headed for the rec room floor.

 And, as you might imagine, forgot to log off.


 ********


 Davis stumbled down the hall in a confused stupor. Ohhh... your victory is short
 lived. When we get to Starcraft... I'll... forget it. I need to go to the
 bathroom, bad.

 Davis stepped into the second turbolift next to the other one and it took off to
 the bridge, where the nearest bathroom was. The other turbolift came down with a
 thud and Conker stepped out, making his way down the hall.


 ********


 Davis hit the top floor, stepping out of the elevator and into the empty
 alley-like hallway that led down to the bridge. His vision quickly strafed the
 area in front of him. A door with the Man symbol on it was his target. As he
 strutted over to the door, it shoved open and a somewhat dazed Patamon hovered
 out, occaisionally losing his orienting and gliding to the side, and committing
 accidental loops.

 Patamon looked straight ahead to Davis. "oooh.... Davis?... I wouldn't suggest
 going in there..."

 Davis sighed as the exhausted Patamon tossed himself inside the turbolift and
 headed down to his bunk. Maybe there was another bathroom ahead. He continued on
 down the hall until he entered the huge command center where he had been
 teleported in. His eyes locked onto the strangely empty office chair on the
 heightened platform where Ultimanium normally sat.

 He grinned to himself. "I don't think Ultimanium would mind..." Davis ran up and
 threw himself into the chair, spinning it around. "..If I was king of the world
 for 5 minutes, at least.. hey... what's this...?"

 Davis squinted at the monitor ahead of him.

 "Master security control.... hmm... what's it doing open? Ultimanium would never
 do something like this..."

 Davis turned deep red and grimaced. "...but he's going to regret having done
 so!"

 He clicked down the list until a certain selection caught his eye.

 "PRD - Panty Raid Defense. Nullifies opposite sex from entering each others'
 bunks. Effective after 2200 hours, to 0500 hours."

 Davis' grin nearly stretched off his face. He flicked the switch to the off
 position.


 ********


 *ImperialDeath ate General's grenade*

 Veemon sighed. "Aw, forget it. This is starting to get boring."

 *Imperial Death has left the game*

 Veemon hopped off his chair and walked around the large table the computers were
 situated. Kari was in a chat with a friend. Veemon sat and stared at her message
 posts, Kari oblivious to him.

 **Kari, this entire thing you're telling me about sounds pretty funny. You
 should keep a log for me to look at after.**

 **Already am. I have my diary here, I'm writing in that.**

 **Huh? Kari, are you sure you should have your diary in a public place like
 that? What if the guys get a hold on it?**

 **Don't worry, the ship has a killer security system. Veemon already got
 electrocuted.**

 **Veemon?**

 **I'll tell you about it sometime.**

 **Me too.**

 **Who are you?**

 **I'm a friend of Kari's. You can call me Gatomon. Veemon is a coworker of
 mine.**

 **Really?**

 **Yeah, he isn't really all that bad, he's just annoying. I used to like him,
 ... but, you get the picture. Damn annoying. I have some steamy entries
 involving him in MY diary, but you're not going to see me looking back at those
 if I can help it.**

 Veemon's eyes lit up. "S-steamy entries? Starring me?! There's gotta be a way I
 can get to her diary! Some way! I gotta talk to Davis right away!"


 ********


 Davis sat on the bridge of the Argetlahm, flicking random switches. The female
 bunks could wait, he was going to see what this baby could do.

 "Hey, Davis," Karsh said, walking up. "What's going on? Where's Ultimanium?"

 "Beats me. But check this out.. he left the security controls open!"

 Karsh leaned down and examined the settings ahead of him. "Hey, Davis... do you
 know where the controls for the training centre are?"

 Davis reached over and pressed a button. On the security monitor ahead of him,
 Vegeta could be seen in the gym, doing backflips, punching, kicking, you know,
 that DBZ stuff.

 Karsh shook his head. "Ass. Thinks he's better than any of us. I wanna just go
 down there and beat him down myself. Hey.. what's that..." Karsh pointed down
 into the corner of the screen, where a small white 1G was displayed.

 Davis shrugged. "Beats me."

 Karsh rubbed his chin. "Probably some kind of danger setting." He grinned to
 himself. "Let's see how much he can handle." Karsh reached over and raised the
 throttle next to the monitor. The display changed to 50G. Vegeta kept on going.

 "That sucked," Davis sighed. "Jack it up a bit."

 Karsh slowly raised the throttle. 120G. Vegeta kept on going, if a bit slower
 than normal.

 Davis swung around his swivel chair. "Some danger setting. We probably gotta
 jack it up to max before it has any effect."

 Karsh lifted an eyebrow. "Whatever." He tossed the throttle as high as it would
 go. 800G. The camera turned to static.

 Davis sweatdropped. "Uh..."


 ********


 Vegeta bashed down the training room door, panting. His hair drooped down in
 front of him, his arms were about an inch lower on his shoulders, and he was
 about a foot shorter. He tossed the tattered security camera to the ground in
 front of him which he had scooped off the floor, clearly destroyed by gravity
 itself.

 "What in blazes is going on here?!" He bellowed.

 Veemon walked by, whistling.

 "You! Lizard man! What is going on with the training room?"

 Veemon stopped and backed up. "What do you mean?"

 "Someone has modified the gravity settings!"

 Veemon hopped up and down. "Wooo! Gravity!! You mean the room is low gravity?
 Sweeeet!"

 Before Vegeta could stop him, Veemon bounded into the chamber. Vegeta sat at the
 door and watched, wincing. "Poor fellow."

 An inch-tall plate-like Veemon waddled out of the training room. He attempted to
 say something but was muffled. Vegeta picked up the flattened Veemon and
 stretched him back to his normal size and placed him down again. Veemon crossed
 his eyes in a daze and stumbled into a wall. He looked up at Vegeta. "Don't go
 in there man, it's a doozy!"

 "That is what you receive for interrupting my training." Vegeta scowled. "I'm
 going to talk to Ultimanium and see what is going on with the gravity settings
 on the training room. Do you wish to come?"

 "Yeah, I was thinking Davis was up there, with the bathrooms up on the bridge
 and all."


 ********


 Conker stepped into the rec room and looked around at the distractions around
 him. He walked over and attempted to join in on Serge's pool game. "Hey, guys!"

 "Hey, Conker. Could you possibly talk to Ultimanium about us getting a new
 8-ball? Clod here tried using his thief sword as a cue and severed it."

 Cloud shrugged. "You can't tell me you would've resisted it."

 Conker sighed. "Well, we aren't playing pool for a while, then. Ultimanium's out
 right now, and I'm in charge."

 Squall set up a shot. "Oh, yeah. Groceries, right?"

 "Well, that's the end of that," Serge muttered to himself. "Who's watching the
 bridge?"

 Conker just kind of sat in a daze. "Well... nobody. Except the security system I
 locked up... or I think I did..."

 Cloud caught Squall's launched 3-ball. "It's not like I would go up there and
 change the settings anways. We don't want to get in trouble from Ultimanium. He
 would kick our asses if he found out."


 ********


 "Ultimanium was a fag to leave everything open!" Davis laughed. "Hey, watch
 this..." He threw a switch at the far end of the control panel. The lights in
 the entire ship pulsed.


 ********


 Conker shook his head in disgust. "God no, God no, God no..."


 ********


 Vegeta strutted onto the bridge, followed by Veemon.

 "Ultimanium!!" Vegeta yelled. "What did you do to the training room?!...
 Ultimanium?"

 "Davis!" Veemon shouted. "What are you doing up here?"

 Davis' chair turned around slowly, revealing him with a pinky by his lips. "Bow
 down before me."

 Vegeta grit his teeth and glared at Davis menacingly. "So it was YOU who changed
 the training centre settings!!"

 Karsh stepped forward. "No, we were up here trying to fix it. Something was
 screwed up with the room. We tried to get a message through the intercom to you,
 but we couldn't in time."

 Vegeta glanced around the bridge. Everybody just stared at him.

 "Don't let it happen again." Vegeta grumbled. He turned on his heel and walked
 quickly to the turbolift.

 Karsh turned to Davis and grinned. "Problem solved." Him and Davis laughed,
 exchanging a high five.

 Veemon stepped up. "Davis? I need to ask a favor of you. I heard from the rec
 room that... well..." He bowed his head down and twiddled his thumbs.

 Karsh looked over to Davis. "What's with him?"

 Davis shook his head. "Girl problems."

 Veemon looked up, in a deep blush. "Gatomon has a diary in her bunk. I need you
 help me find a way down there."

 Davis smiled and looked down at the panel. "Way ahead of you. I have the Panty
 Raid Defense shut down, so we can go down there at any time now."

 Veemon brightened. "You mean it?"

 "Sure. I'm going to head down there and steal some stuff of Kari's. Hey, Karsh,
 you comin'?"

 "Nah. I think Conker would like a closer look at Berri's bunk though. I'll go
 talk to him."

 "DAMN IT, GUYS!! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!?" Conker screamed.

 Everybody looked over to the disillusioned Conker. He ran up to the bridge
 platform. "What did you guys do?! If Ultimanium finds out any of the settings
 were changed, he'll kill me!!"

 "Just one." Veemon said dryly.

 Conker shook his head. "You didn't."

 Everybody nodded.

 "I was going to do that one anyways. Don't scare me like that." Conker breathed.
 "I brought Tai with me too, he wanted to do some snooping through Kid's bunk."

 Tai stepped beside Conker, still holding a full plate of the nutrient
 supplement. "Someone wanna hold onto this for me?"

 Davis smirked. "If Sora knew what you were doing..."

 "That's why she won't."

 Conker slapped Tai on the back. "Good man. How about we have ourselves a panty
 raid?"

 Everybody cheered and made their way over to the turbolift.


 ********


 The second turbolift whirred and clanked to a stop. A somewhat recovered Patamon
 hovered out, into the deep red-emblazoned hall. "Hey, Gato? You here?" he
 shouted. No response. "No barrier. Maybe all that stuff about the shielding was
 made up."

 He attempted to push forward through the barrier and got the shock treatment. He
 sailed back into the turbolift plating and slid to the ground with a long
 squeak.

 As he regained consciousness, he could see the turbolift opposite from his open.
 Conker, Davis, Veemon, and Tai all stepped out. They all walked over to the
 theoretical barrier and stopped.

 Conker looked around the group. "Who wants to go first?"

 Patamon shook his thoughts from his head and looked up at the blue-sweatered
 squirrel. "Conker, there's no getting through there. The barrier really is
 there."

 Veemon punched Patamon on the shoulder. "We have our solutions."

 Conker rubbed his chin. "Well, Patamon must have got the remaining charge from
 the barrier. It should be safe to go through now."

 Veemon brought a fist down on his chest. "I'll go. Just conquering this shield
 is motive enough for me."

 So he strutted through... or in this case... into the barrier, and the infamous
 surge of energy scorched him again, sending a pitch-black Veemon flying at
 Patamon. Patamon attempted to brace the heavy Veemon but got squished.

 "This is not fair." Veemon whimpered. He brushed some ashes off him.

 Conker sweatdropped. "NOW the charge is gone. Who's next?"

 Tai stepped forward and felt the power. He was sent flying, and sprawled himself
 across the metal floor. "Ow." Tai choked.

 Conker smiled uneasily. "There. NOW, FOR SURE, the charge is gone. I'll try." He
 stepped clear through the portal. Everybody followed. Tai and Conker dived into
 the room on the right, while Davis, Veemon and Patamon took the left.







 Veemon and Patamon sat on the red-sheeted bunk. Veemon looked up, holding the
 diary. "Would you do the honors?"

 A Boom Bubble slammed into the surface of the book, sending Veemon back
 slightly. Veemon took the tattered lock off the book and tossed it to the side.
 He dampened a finger with his tongue and started flipping through the pages.

 "I can't believe it!" Patamon laughed. "This dates all the way back to when Kari
 joined the Digidestined! Alright.. two months into the adventure, Gatomon
 comments on Angemon's studliness. Read it and weep."

 Veemon stared at Patamon. "A cat and a..."

 Patamon frowned. "Don't say it."

 "..batpig..." Another Boom Bubble nailed Veemon in the face, sending him off the
 bed along with the diary. He quickly sat back up. "...getting it on is just
 disturbing. At least a lizard screwing her is anotomically possible."

 "Reeeeead." Patamon droned. "Angemon. Aaaaannngeeeemon."

 Veemon groaned. "You're going to flatten her. I win, I weigh the same amount as
 her as is."

 "Exveemon would crush her and the bed."

 "Lisssssten." Veemon whined. "Veemon. Veeeeeeeemon."

 Davis turned around in the computer chair, with a pair of panties on his head.
 "Stop it, guys. We're here to demolish, not to fight. Say, do any of you know
 what Kari's password for Hotmail would be?"

 "Beats me," Veemon sighed. He skipped 50-some pages in the diary. "Oooooh!
 OOOOH!! Check it out... 'Exveemon certainly shows off his muscles better than
 Angemon. All that angelic drapery is hiding all the good parts on him..."

 Tai walked in, a bra strapped on the back of his head. "You guys got what you
 wanted? We'd better get out of here if we want to live through tonight."

 Conker walked in. "Damn it, Berri's got all her stuff locked up in her drawers.
 I can't get to it. You guys got what you wanted? I'm going to throw the barrier
 back up in a couple of minutes."

 Veemon tucked the diary under his shoulder. "Did I! C'mon, let's blow this
 popsicle stand!"

 So everybody left. The barrier crackled to life behind them.


 ********


 Goku walked down the hall, hands in his pockets, whistling. After taking time to
 finish his supplement, he could use a warm up. He rounded the corner and saw the
 training room open. Vegeta sat, leaned against the wall, arms folded.

 "Hey, Vegeta! What's up? Why aren't you training?"

 "None of your business." Vegeta mumbled.

 "Well, if you aren't using the place, do you mind if I go in there for a while?"

 Vegeta's eyes turned. "I wouldn't if I were you."

 "Why?" Goku continued on into the gym. After a lengthly scream, Vegeta smiled to
 himself.

 Goku flung himself out of the chamber. "WAAAHHHHH!!!! MY HAIR!!! IT'S...
 DROOPING!!!!! YAAAAUUUUGGGGHHHHHH!!!!" He turned and shot down the hall,
 screaming all the way.


 ********


 Conker tapped a button. "There, all factory default settings. Everything should
 be back to normal. And this time, I'm logging off."

 Everybody groaned.

 The computer hummed to life again. "Incoming transmission. Priority 5."

 Conker sat down in his chair. "On the main screen."

 The image of Ultimanium lit up. "Conker."

 Conker grinned. "Hey, Ulty."

 "I see nothing's wrong there. I will be docking in 5 minutes. I have the
 groceries, so we shouldn't be going hungry for another couple of months, if we
 take that long. Also, I picked up a couple of passengers. You might know them."

 "Now, these computers in the rec room have what connection?" A voice asked in
 the background.

 Ultimanium turned his back to the camera. "T3."

 "Great. Thank you."

 "Quit worrying about the computers and say hi to your friends." Another familiar
 voice said.

 Davis snapped his fingers. "This is familiar... who is that..."

 Tai looked up and grinned. "...Izzy!!"

 The camera panned over to a crate off in the corner of the cockpit. Izumi was
 seated on the crate, pineapple laptop hanging from a strap on his shoulder.
 Tentomon hovered behind him.

 "Izumi will be joining us for a bit," Ultimanium continued. "I called him over
 to help reformat the hard drives of the computers in the rec room, but he can
 stay if he wishes. Also on the trip..."

 The camera panned again.

 Duo sat up. "Damn it! Ultimanium, you were supposed to give us a dramatic
 entrance too!"

 "Hey, guys." Heero mumbled.

 Veemon turned away from the monitor and stared off into space. "The Gundam guys
 are here too? Sweet!"

 Ultimanium turned the camera back to him. "These people will be staying aboard
 the Argetlahm for the time being. Show them some respect. I am docking as I
 speak."

 Conker logged off. "If anyone asks, nothing happened."

 Everybody nodded, and took off for the hangar.



 It had been a strange day aboard the Argetlahm, and Davis and his group wanted
 the madness to continue. But, as we all know, be careful what you wish for, you
 might just get it...





 END OF CHAPTER 4








 (A/N - WARNING! WARNING! GROSS-OUT FACTOR IMPENDING!! If you EVER wonder about
 Davis' somewhat strange behaviour in Veemon's body in this chapter, it is
 VEEMON'S BODY THAT IS CAUSING IT!! What do I mean? Read on, if you dare wish to
 find out...)






 Argetlahm Tech Library
 Day 4, 9:13 AM


 Takeru slid several books out of the small pine bookcase and dropped them on the
 small table in the room. The lamp hanging over the support lit up.


 "Daemon Summoning and Other Arcane Arts."
 "Elements for Dummies."
 "Things You Mispronounce and Die."
 "Ki And You - A Beginner's Guide to Blowing Things Up with Your Mind."
 "Mobile Suit Engineering - Volume 7."
 "Digicylopedia."

 Patamon sat down on the table across from TK. "Geez, TK? What's the deal? You
 used to hate books. Why?"

 "Just brushing up. Okay.... correct me if I'm wrong... Veemon.. Exveemon... ....
 "

 "AeroVeedramon?"

 "No, wait, that's a Mega... geez, I wish I could get through to Davis."

 Patamon smiled. "But you'll always have..."

 "Angemon, MagnaAngemon, and Seraphimon. Thanks, I needed that," TK reached for
 the nearest book to him and started reading. "Still, I wouldn't mind knowing
 what was in these books. There's some interesting techniques in here, you just
 have to look. At least that's what I heard from Ultimanium."

 TK ran his finger down the page. "....Final Flash...Ancient Saiyan desperation
 move... a beam of raw Ki capable of destroying entire planets, rivaled only by
 the Kamehameha... man, some of this stuff is weird. Expert proficiency in Ki
 arts required. Ha, figures.. isn't there anything here that Ki newbies can use?"

 Patamon tilted his head to the side. "Did you even look up Ki?"

 TK shrugged. "Nah. But whatever it is, it can't be hard to get. I mean, look at
 all these techs using Ki. It can't be that hard to run by. Hey... Patamon..
 check this one out."

 Patamon hovered over and perched on Takeru's shoulder.

 TK licked his lips. "Lessee... 'Change Now'. While this technique requires
 extreme concentration to activiate, it requires little Ki to maintain. Now THIS
 is more like it. Change Now is a technique perfected and copyrighted by the late
 Captain Ginyu. It is a beam of pure conscience that has the capability of
 invading other peoples' bodies and forcing their own out, sending it to the
 nearest vacant body, effectively switching bodies with its target. Hmm, this
 looks cool."

 Patamon sweatdropped. "Switching bodies? TK, do you know what you're doing?"

 "It can't be that bad. I mean, I can always just cast it again."

 The glass door creaked open. TK looked up from his tome. "Who's there?"

 Izumi stepped around the corner, in sweatshorts and a tank top, with a towel
 over his shoulder. "What's in here?"

 "Ultimanium's personal tech library. Just checking out some weird Ki
 techniques."

 "Ki? You mean psychic energy?"

 TK looked confused. "Well.. I guess."

 "You should talk to Goku about that. He knows a bit about Ki, he uses it all the
 time."

 Patamon hopped up. "You mean all those beam attacks he uses draw off Ki?"

 Izumi nodded. "Creating raw energy from scratch is most often done from burning
 off Ki. Basically, anyone who can create raw energy and apply it can use Ki."

 TK sighed. "Uh.. yeah..."

 Izumi tugged at a shoulder strap. "Or, you could go so far as to say that actual
 psychic energy waves are thrown forth into this dimension and given mass and
 converted into damaging energy."

 "Oh, I think I get it now. Thanks."

 "No problem." Izumi said. He turned on his heel and left the room.

 TK sat and thought for a second. He got a really, really, REALLY bad idea.

 "Hey, Patamon."

 "What?"

 "You can use energy attacks, right? Boom Bubble, Hand of Fate, whatnot?"

 Patamon shook his head madly. "No way. I am NOT learning that. It's just scary."

 TK stood up and spread his arms. "Do it on me."

 "I'm nicer than that, TK."

 "Just once. I wanna see what it feels like."

 Patamon looked out the door. Everybody was training in the gym, in the range or
 in the workout room. "Well... okay. Just once. Then you're going back in your
 own body."
 He pulled the book across the table over to his position. "Okay... here goes..."

 Patamon concentrated on the runic writing that was inscribed on the pages ahead
 of him. After memorizing it, he looked up to Takeru. He closed his eyes and
 began concentrating, humming the runic language under his breath. After
 repeating the ritual for the fourth time, he was ready. "CHANGE NOW!!"

 A bright beam of light shot from Patamon's mouth and impacted against TK, making
 them both stumble backwards from the shock. Both blacked out.


 ********


 Davis placed the 20 pound weight back on the rack. Exveemon placed his 250 pound
 one next to it. Davis shook his head. "That is SO cheating."

 "It's my Champion form that does all the fighting." Exveemon laughed, as he
 flexed momentarily. With a flash, Veemon stood where the behemoth Champion once
 stood.

 "Heeeey!!" Veemon squealed.

 Davis held up the D3 in front of him. He brought it down to his side. "Not so
 tough now, are you?"

 Serge held a magazine in front of him as he pedelled forward on the mounted bike
 in front of him. "Geez, they NEVER have any good techs in here anymore."

 Kid, on the bike across from him, tossed her magazine to the side. "You're
 telling me."

 Gohan placed down a barbell. "Hey, we should try looking in that library that
 Ultimanium showed to us some time. There would probably be some new skills in
 there we overlooked."

 Kari hopped off of the stairclimber and swept off her brow. "Good point. I'm
 going to check the place out after."


 ********


 "C'mon, everybody! A one! And a two! Work it!" Berri shouted.

 Agumon leaped gracefully into the air, and landed flat on his face.

 Gatomon stopped the jumping jacks she had been ordered to do and started kicking
 Agumon until he stood to his feet. "Any time now!!"

 Goku kept on with his. "Okay, this is a little bit humilating."

 "Shut up," Berri barked. "You sit in the weight room lifting weights, you fly
 around this gym punching and kicking the crap out of each other all day, and you
 STILL never get any flexing exercises! Your muscles are crying uncle from that
 torture and you do nothing about it!"

 Vegeta finshed his 45th jumping jack. "It worked for me before." He growled.

 "Eeeeh! Vegeta! Quit sagging and get up in the air already!!" Karsh yelled from
 a nearby bench.

 "SHUT UP, YOU!!" Vegeta bellowed.


 **********


 "So what really are we here for then?" Duo asked. "If we can't get our Gundams
 over here, we're as good as dead."

 Ultimanium frowned. "That's the bad news. You have to hear the good news."

 "There's no good news here," Heero said, stopping his pacing. "We can't fight."

 "Well, maybe your Gundams are here. You just aren't looking hard enough."

 The door of the hangar flew open. Outside, in space, sat the two Gundams, if a
 bit different.

 "Those are huge!" Duo gasped. "No way those are the Gundams!"

 "I present Wing Zeromus and DeathHarvest. Both Gundams are enhanced models of
 the original Gundams, ones I personally planned and consructed myself. Various
 enhancements have been made the Gundams' infrastructre. The reflex enhancement
 has been increased tenfold, and the mobile suits themselves are more agile and
 heavily armored than the previous incarnations of each. The Buster Cannon Mk.II
 is standard issue for the Wing Zeromus and the super battlestar Soul Harvest
 goes to DeathHarvest."

 The DeathHarvest held out the Soul Harvest. It was similar to the Deathscythe
 Hell - two of them. The dual Hells crossed in the center of the handles to form
 a swatisika, with energy blades on the ends.

 Both pilots sat in awe.

 "Heh..." Duo smirked.


 ********


 TK opened an eye. Funny, he didn't remember having sat down when he got hit with
 the Change Now. He slowly climbed to his feet and attempted to rub his eyes...
 but didn't get all the way. His arms were too short.

 "What the..." TK squeaked. "....YAAAAUUUGGHHH!!! PATAMON!!"

 Patamon slowly climbed to his feet, clutching onto the table. "Hey... TK....
 where am...." Wait a minute. I can't pull myself up with my arms. Uhh... "What
 the... YAAAAUUUUGGHHH!!!! TK!!!"

 Patamon stared down at TK. TK stared up at Patamon. Both screamed. After a
 lengthly 3 minute yelling spree, both began to calm down.

 Takeru sat down. "Maaan... this is weird..." uncomfortable in his seat, his ears
 began to flap off impulse and he rose off the ground. "Heh... check it out, I
 can fly..."

 Patamon stood in place and flapped his arms. "This is going to take getting used
 to."

 TK eyed the D3 clipped onto Patamon's belt. Patamon quickly sheathed the
 digivice underneath his hand. "Don't get any ideas. I've had enough of this,
 let's return to our bodies, and..."

 TK hopped up and down. "C'mooooon!! Just one digivolve?"

 "No."

 "When I get back to that body, you are sleeping on the floor."

 "Point made," Patamon sighed. "C'mon, lets go."


 TK... digivolv... um....

 "This isn't going to work..." Patamon groaned. "one more time."

 Patamon... digivolve to....
 ANGEMON!!

 "Whoooo!!" TK crooned. "I rock!" He tossed open the door leading out to the gym
 and caught Davis walking by. "Hey, Davis."

 "Huh? Angemon? What are you do-"

 SCHRACKK

 The Angel Wand whipped fiercely across Davis' exposed face, sending him to the
 ground. TK cracked his knuckles. "I've ALWAYS wanted to do that."

 "Angemon!" Veemon yelled. "What the hell are you doing?!"

 "Uh oh," TK moaned. "The jig is up."

 Veemon stared at TK. "Hey, man... you alright?.."

 TK sweatdropped. "Eh... yeah.. I'll be back in a minute, I have to go to the
 bathroom..." He quickly dashed across the open gym, throwing open the double
 doors and running into the hall. Patamon followed close behind.

 Veemon bended down and lifted Davis' head off of the ground. "Does Angemon go to
 the bathroom...?"

 Davis stumbled to his feet. "I guess it's open to speculation..."


 ********


 "Do you have any idea how many people saw that?!" Patamon wailed.

 TK shrugged. "It was an impulse. Sooorry." He dedigivolved and returned to his
 Rookie form.

 Patamon slumped down against the wall outside of the gym, now theoretically
 possible in Takeru's body. "I'm ruined. Forget it, TK, let's go get some help.
 Then we'll get back to our normal bodies."

 "Fine... geez, I never even got to MagnaAngemon yet..." TK sighed. He hovered
 back into the gym and headed for the weight room. Using all of his strength, he
 pushed the heavy glass door open and stepped inside. Veemon shoved him back.
 "Patamon, I need to talk to you."

 TK tried to cover himself up the best he could. "I really didn't know what
 happened there... just some funny reflex, that's all."

 Patamon walked up. "Veemon, we need your help. Something went REALLY wrong when
 I was checking out that library."

 Veemon rolled his eyes. "And then the jealousy takes over."

 Patamon shook his head. "No, not that. Why we're acting funny. Don't tell
 anyone, but we've switched bodies."

 Veemon glanced between the two. "...yeeeeah.. really... 'Patamon', could I ask
 you to leave for a second?"

 TK pointed a stubby hand at himself. "Me?"

 "Yes, you."

 TK struggled again to get the door open again, and he pushed himself out. The
 glass door closed with a jingle.

 Veemon glared up at Patamon. "Batpig!"

 "You little shit! Don't call me that!.... uh..." Patamon blinked.

 Veemon folded his arms. "You would've said something like 'don't talk about
 Patamon like that', but I see it's much worse than that. You two really switched
 bodies?"

 "...Yes." Patamon sighed. He removed the tilly hat from his head and held it in
 front of him.

 Davis leaned over Veemon. "Maybe we'll be so KIND as to help you..." He grinned.
 "...but you've got to do something for us."

 "Anything, anything!" Patamon cried.

 Veemon smiled. "Teach it to me."

 Patamon stepped back. "Wha! No way!"

 "Are you going to let TM screw around in your body forever or what?" Davis said.
 "If you want that Patamon we know back so badly, tell us how to do it."

 Patamon looked around nervously. "..fine. I'll show you the book I found it in.
 If you get in serious crap, though, it's not my fault."

 "Done deal!" Veemon walked up and shook Patamon's paw madly, and left for the
 library.


 ********


 "CHANGE NOW!!"

 Davis pushed himself up. "Harsh stuff... wait... no way!... Veemon? Where are
 you?"

 A heavy vest fell onto Davis' head. He swept it away and looked up to see Veemon
 towering above him. Davis' old body stood a good 3 feet taller than his current
 one.

 "Heeeey!!" Davis wailed. "Don't treat my jacket like that! It's my life!"


 ********


 Davis had walked around the ship several times, his huge jacket draped over him.
 He was finally getting accustomed to Veemon's body. It would be better to get
 used to this body before he even thought about digivolving.

 Yet, still, there are some other awkward moments a digimon goes through.

 "Veemon!" An all-too-familiar voice called from down the hall. Davis turned to
 see Gatomon jogging down the hall behind him. "Did you see what was for lunch?"

 What's going on here? Davis thought. This feels so weird. I can't believe what
 Veemon has to go through when he sees... mm... Gatomo... damn it! He's taking
 over my mind! This guy has some wacked-out fantasies.

 Davis bowed his head. "Country-style mac and cheese. Remember?"

 Gatomon gazed down the seemingly neverending hall ahead of her. "One thing about
 aerobic exercise that bothers me is that there's no oppritunity in there
 somewhere to vent built up energy. You know, 'follow the command' type stuff.
 You up for Q3? One on one?"

 Davis sweatdropped. "You wiped us last time."

 Okay, good answer, Davis thought. Keep it up and you can leave.

 "How about Starcraft? Do you play Starcraft?"

 Davis grinned. "Do I? NOW we'll see who wears the pants here."

 Gatomon blinked. "What do you mean?"

 Davis shook his head furiously. "N...nothing. C'mon, let's go."


 ********


 Veemon bobbed his head in time to the music playing in the weight room. He
 groaned again as the heavy goggles on his head drooped over his vision. Scowling
 to himself, he brushed them back up on top of his gelled hair. As he looked
 around, he realized that there was not much in the weight room he had not
 conquered as Exveemon. He turned and tossed open the door, stepping out. He made
 his way across the gym and into the target range across the gym from his
 position.


 ********


 Conker looked up from the table in front of him. He reached forward and took the
 Magnum lying on the hard wood surface ahead of him and loaded a shell into it.

 "Computer. Difficulty 2."

 The human posters off in the distance shifted back about ten feet. Conker raised
 his heavy handgun to eye level, bit his lip and worked off a shot. The round hit
 the poster in the side of the chest.

 He tossed the gun back down on the table. "Fuck! Can never work these
 things...." He turned his head to the jingle that radiated from the range door.
 Veemon stepped in and looked around.

 "Heeey! Davis! I see you've found the REAL weapons."

 Veemon turned forward. "This is the shooting range, right?"

 Conker squeezed off another shot at the target, hitting it in the leg. "Frick...
 sure is. Just grab a gun, load it up and start shooting."

 Veemon blinked. "...gun?"

 "Yeah, funny right-angle things that go boom. Take one and have at it."

 Veemon cautiously lifted one of the many handguns off the table and examined
 down the barrel of it. He held it up to the shooting alley in front of him,
 turned away, and fired. The bullet carved through the open air and landed a
 direct hit on the poster's head.

 Conker blinked. "Eh... try again." He tossed Veemon another shell. Veemon
 quickly loaded it up and fired off into space again. Another head shot.

 Conker turned to Veemon. "I hate you. Good show. Is that all for now?"

 Veemon slowly placed down the gun. "...I guess."

 Conker slid on a pair of safety glasses. "Okay, then. Stop back in here some
 other time - I need some pointers." He whipped the Magnum up and fired again,
 landing a shot on the posters hand. "For Christ sakes.."


 ********


 The power to switch bodies. Call it a heavensent gift, call it a bane to
 humanity, whatever you refer to it as, someone is going to abuse it.

 After tiring of Davis' body, Veemon made his way out to the gym where Goku had
 just sat down for a break from his aerobics.

 The rest, they say, is history.


 ********


 Goku woke up, leaning against the gym wall. As his vision cleared up, he could
 see figures gathered around him.

 "Davis! Are you all right?" Vegeta asked, some mystery in his voice.

 Serge leaned over. "He don't look too good there."

 "Someone get Ultimanium," Kid ordered. Tai hopped up from the bench a ways from
 the disaster scene and dodged out the double doors.

 Goku slowly began to push himself to his feet, but slipped and fell to the
 ground again. "What the hell... why am I wearing gloves?" He reached down and
 grunted as he shoved himself up. He lost his grip and tumbled back to the ground
 again. "What's going on?!"

 "You're having trouble getting up, silly," Kari chuckled. "Let me help you."

 Veemon shook his head. Davis would die for that.

 As Kari and Serge began to cart Goku away, Squall walked out of the weightroom.
 "Goku, what's going on?"

 Veemon sweatdropped. "Oh.. you mean Vee.. uh, Gok.. er, Davis! Yeah, he was
 walking out here and he just fainted, boom, like that! Weird, I tell ya..."

 Vegeta watched as the double doors slid closed. "Poor child. Well, Kakarot,
 since the aerobic trash is moved out of the gym for the time being, how about
 you join me on some sparring? I've been looking for a good opponent since we got
 on this trash heap."

 Veemon's eyes grew wide. "Well... I.. um..."

 "Excellent." Vegeta smirked. "Let's get started."


 ********


 Patamon watched through the window out in the hall, drumming his fingers on the
 sill. He had seen the entire thing, but he wasn't too ready to try to explain it
 to the group. With all the trouble Veemon was getting into, he wouldn'tve minded
 just sitting back and watching.

 TK flew up and perched himself on the windowsill. "Patamon! Shouldn't we go in
 there and do something?! Veemon's gonna get creamed!"

 Patamon shut his eyes. "More Gato for me."


 ********


 Vegeta went into his fight stance. "Stand fast, Kakarot! Here I come!!"

 Veemon blinked. "Eh..."

 In a split-second's time, Vegeta hurled himself across the ground of the arena
 and launched a volley of punches against the dazed Veemon. As if acting on
 Goku's reflexes, Veemon threw his hands across his face and blocked the blazing
 fast assault from Vegeta. As he noticed his blows were being deflected, he
 started throwing them harder. "What's wrong, Kakarot, have to defend your
 pitiful face?"

 "This is SOOOO medieval." Cloud sighed.

 A rocketing hand knocked one of Veemon's arms back around him. Vegeta, seeing an
 opening, threw his foot upwards in an elegant bicycle kick, cracking harshly
 against Veemon's exposed chin and sending him skywards in a flip. In a blink,
 Vegeta materialized several feet above him and brought a rock-hard elbow down
 against his back, stunning Veemon in a minute-long nerve loss. Veemon crashed
 straight down into the ground. Vegeta fired off a swarm of Ki blasts down at the
 hole where Veemon lied. After a series of violent explosions, the dust began to
 clear. The boarding around where Veemon lied was completely demolished.

 After a long pause, Veemon fought and slowly sat up. "Ow."


 ********


 Patamon continued watching. "Heh... that looks like fun." He looked at TK.

 "Alright, man, you're not digivolving me for a while if I have anything to say
 about it. You go out there and fight him if you want, but if my body gets blown
 to shreds I'm keeping this one and Boom Bubbling you straight to hell."

 Patamon stood up. "Suit yourself." He began to walk to the double doors.

 TK sweatdropped. "You aren't serious."


 ********


 Vegeta touched down on what boarding remained around Veemon and folded his arms.
 "..I win."

 "I get the point." Veemon choked.

 "CHANGE NOW!!" Patamon yelled.

 A bright yellow beam flew out of nowhere and struck Vegeta in the back. Vegeta
 let out a long yell before blacking out, collapsing. As fast as he hit the
 ground he bounded back up. "Well well."

 Veemon gulped. He looked at the newly rejuvenated Vegeta, and behind him, a
 particularly different TK.

 "What the fuck is going on here?!" Vegeta bellowed. "Shiiiiiit!! I can't do a
 damn thing in this piddly child's body!!! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!!!!"

 "I'll have it right back to you in a minute." Patamon laughed. "Alright, Veemon.
 We have powerful bodies... expansive room to fight...let's do it."

 Veemon scratched his head, nearly getting his finger caught in his styled hair.
 "...am I missing something here?"

 "Winner takes all," Patamon laughed menacingly as he went into his battle
 stance. "Gatomon included."

 "What about Gatomon?!" Kari yelped.

 TK flew in and landed at Kari's feet. "He wants to sleep with Gatomon."

 "EYAAUUGGH!!" Kari screamed. She glared up at the celing, expecting to see the
 soon-to-be-dead TK. "TK, what is wrong with you?!"

 TK sweatdropped. "Er.. Kari... there's something you need to know..."

 "I know enough!!!"

 "That isn't TK. You're talking to TK right now."

 "Stop it, Patamon. This isn't funny."

 TK sweatdropped. His love life was shot to hell now.


 ********


 "No, really, you let me win." Gatomon laughed.

 Davis sulked. "But I was trying! How did you get 12 Carriers in 5 minutes,
 anyways?"

 "That's MY secret," Gatomon hopped off her chair. "Amateurs don't need to know
 such things yet." She began to head for the door. "Thanks for the game, Vee."

 "No problem." Damn it, Davis thought. Wherever she learned to play... anyways. I
 have to go talk to Veemon. I sure hope he didn't screw around with the Change
 Now while I was busy.

 Gatomon shoved open the door and slid out. Funny, Veemon's acting pretty
 different. He's almost.. polite. He's almost like when Davis talks to Kari. It's
 certainly great to see someone like Davis rubbing off on him.

 Gatomon smiled to herself. Who knows, maybe he IS worth another shot.


 ********


 "So THAT'S how things are right now," Kari sighed. "Sorry, TK, I didn't know the
 library held those kinds of things."

 TK nodded, carrying his small wings along with his head. "So how about you dump
 Davis and go with me one night?"

 Kari shuddered. "You two are both even right now.... but I can't get the image
 of Patamon out of my head... ugghh..."

 TK groaned.


 ********


 "So this entire thing is about Gatomon?" Serge whispered to Tentomon.

 "As far as I believe, yes," Tentomon buzzed. "I was told a while ago by Hawkmon
 and Armadillomon that both Veemon and Patamon have crushes on Gatomon,
 somewhat."

 Izzy shook his head. "Digi-romance, as you might imagine, is a bit more
 dangerous with the powers digimon have at their disposal. Thankfully, there are
 many more males than females in the Digital World."

 Cloud looked up. "Digi-world? That some kind of new ride at Universal?"

 Izzy sulked. "Forget it."


 ********


 Veemon looked around him. "Er... Patamon? How about we put this whole thing
 behind us and just be friends?"

 Patamon clenched his fist. "Shut up."

 Agumon waddled forward. "Big talk for Hope! Patamon! What are you doing?"

 Patamon froze. "How do you know?"

 "TK told us."

 Patamon turned around to face his old body. Agumon pointed at him. "Now."

 Veemon attempted to charge at Patamon and punch him in the back of the head, but
 his somewhat superhuman agility caused him to miss his mark and plow straight
 into the wall at the opposite end of the chamber.

 Cody sighed. "This is going to take him some getting used to."

 Veemon bounded back into the center of the arena, Patamon finally turning around
 and noticing him again. "Are we ready?"

 As if guided by their old bodies' inhabitants, the two semi-digimon phased off
 into nothingness. Everybody looked around for the disappeared combatants when an
 echoing crash made them all jump. Veemon and Patamon hovered in midair, pressing
 their lightspeed fists against one another. They disappeared again and various
 bangs could be heard in all corners of the room. When they rematerialized, they
 could be seen in the center of the arena, locked in a war of blows. Patamon
 jabbed Veemon several times in the face. Veemon planted a heavy kick into
 Patamon's face, sending him sprawling. When Veemon advanced on the incapacitated
 Patamon, he sprung back up, sending his boot into Veemon's face.

 Karsh shook his head. "They're perfectly even."


 ********


 Davis and Gatomon walked slowly down the hall to the pair of turbolifts awaiting
 them. Both had their hands on their sides, attempting to ignore one another.


 Fight it, Davis... Fight it....you can't give in to Veemon's desires. That's
 just... icky. It's beastiality! ... well, when you think about it, it isn't, at
 least not physically... damn it! Davis! Get a hold of yourself!

 Davis shook his head, sifting the impulses of Veemon away into the recesses of
 his mind.


 Fight it, Gato... Fight it.. you can't give into your desires... Exveemon is all
 buff and all, but you're dealing with an EXTREMELY uneducated lizard who
 wouldn't know good sex if it dropped a missile on his head... still.... mmm...
 damn it! Gatomon! Get a hold of yourself!

 Gatomon tried to turn her attention to thinking about Patamon. It helped,
 somewhat.


 Both digimon... well, one digimon and one delirious human masquerading as a
 digimon, anyways... turned to each other and exchanged stares.


 Sweet Jesus, shoot me, Davis thought.
 Azulongmon, shoot me, Gatomon thought.


 Before either could say anything, a loud explosion rocked the ship slightly.

 Gatomon stumbled back and braced herself. "W-what was that?!"

 Davis started breathing again. OH SWEET LORD, THANK YOU!!!! he screamed in his
 mind. "I don't know, but I don't like the sound of it!! C'mon, let's go!!"


 ********


 Veemon dropped and attempted to sweep out Patamon. Patamon leaped to dodge
 Veemon's attack and dropkicked him, making him hit the ground hard. Patamon
 jumped and landed with an elbow to Veemon's face.

 Kid reeled back. "Oi! THAT could hurt!"

 Veemon rolled out from under Patamon, dodging another elbow smash. He threw his
 arms to the side and fired a ki blast, sending Patamon flying into a nearby
 wall. Veemon leaped to his feet and started pounding Patamon against the wall
 with his bare hands.

 Both had their fists at each others' faces when a brilliant flash filled the
 room, and eventually the entire ship.


 Davis woke up in the ship's sickbay.
 Veemon woke up against the gym wall.
 Patamon woke up next to Kari.
 TK woke up against the gym wall opposite Veemon.
 Goku woke up in his own body.
 Vegeta woke up in his own body.


 Vegeta and Goku just kind of stared at each other. Both of their fists were
 right next to each others' faces. Surprised, they both slowly turned their heads
 to the doors.

 Ultimanium stood, a green crystal grasped in his left hand.

 Cloud rubbed the side of his head. "Dispel, huh."

 Ultimanium glowed red. "I give you these techniques to use, not to abuse. If I 
 _ever_ catch anyone using any of these techniques on a teammate again, they will
 be on the receiving end of a Spirit Surge. Understood?"

 Everybody in the room nodded slowly.

 "Good. Lunch is ready."


 ********


 The day continued regularly for the rest of the time.

 Gatomon was ready to hop into her bunk for the night when she decided to do some
 documenting. She looked up to Kari, on the top bunk. "Hey, Kari, have you seen
 my diary?"

 "Can't say I have. Today was a pretty freaky day, wasn't it? With TK and Patamon
 switching bodies and all..."

 Gatomon just kind of stared at the bottom of Kari's bunk as she drifted off to
 sleep. The day was actually kind of cool... and to think all it took was a game
 of Starcraft...


 END OF CHAPTER 5







 Argetlahm Bunks
 Day 5, 10:32 AM


 Conker lied on his bunk and stared at the celing. "Whoa... you really changed
 bodies with that little guy? I have to say, he must've been a pretty good shot
 then.... anyways, what was it like? Was it really weird?"

 Davis folded his blankets over and pushed himself out of bed. "Reeeeally. I was
 short, I talked in his really stupid accent, and whenever I saw Gatomon I got a
 boner."

 Conker remained still. "...riiiiight."

 A message crackled over the Argetlahm's loudspeaker.




 "Attention, all Argetlahm personnel, report to the war room for a mission
 briefing. Everything will be explained when you arrive. I repeat, everybody
 report to the war room for your next mission briefing."


 Conker tossed himself out of bed and landed gracefully on his feet in front of
 Davis. "Let's go!"


 ********


 Everybody filed into the war room and took their respective seats. The hologram
 projector in the center was activated, showing a map of an area of Magnopolis.

 Karsh looked over to Tai. "What's going on here?"

 Tai shrugged. "Beats me."

 Ultimanium phased onto the center of the stage, followed by Magnus and Lord
 Raul. "Greetings, heroes. Glad you could show up."

 "What's the mission?" Gohan blurted. "C'mon, let's get it over with."

 "Calm down, Gohan," Ultimanium said. "Alright, let's get on with it..."


 The projector hummed to life. The image in it burned a bright veridian.





 "On your last mission, you attacked an android plant outside of Magnopolis and
 successfully knocked it offline. This hasn't detered Ultramagnus any from his
 plan, and he has increased security at the other android plants on the outskirts
 of Magnopolis. He's certainly taken notice of us. What I mean to say is that
 full frontal assaults aren't going to work anymore."

 Conker bowed his head. "Damn it, thinking sucks!"

 "We all understand. Let's see what's going on... alright. You see here, a map of
 the slums of Magnopolis. Ultramagnus is working harder than ever with his R&D
 team to attempt to build a variant on the J2 he captured, a new probe called the
 J2000. Ultramagnus boasts that the J2000 will be able to make it to the first
 dimension where we lie, but I know that this cannot be done, because the exact
 same experiment was performed in the fifth dimension during the construction of
 the J2. While Ultramagnus cannot use the J2000 to get to our dimension, it is
 still in our best interests to destroy it."

 "Why?" Patamon asked. "If he can't get to our dimension with it, why bother?"

 "Because if Ultramagnus sees it doesn't work, he'll put it to the task of taking
 over the remaining three dimensions along with his android army. We need to shut
 it down."

 Serge stood up. "No problem. All of us'll..."

 Magnus shook his head. "No. The slums are an easily defendable place. I know
 Magnopolis inside and out. Like Ultimanium said earlier, a raid isn't going to
 solve anything. This is going to be a covert operation. Send as few people as we
 can in, and get as many of them out. Understood?"

 Berri stood up. "Well, like, who do we send in then?"

 Magnus folded his arms. "We leave that, again, up to you. Pick a team of six
 people, preferably five, to scope the J2000 out. Capture it, destroy it,
 whatever. Just get it out of Ultramagnus' hands."

 Lord Raul pointed to a building on the map. "The J2000 will be shifted from an
 abandoned warehouse in the slums, here, where heavy R&D normally takes place. It
 is effectively a covert laboratory, so be on the lookout. Make sure you are not
 discovered, otherwise you'll be coming home in several pieces."

 Ultimanium faced the crowd again. "That is all. Come to me with your teams."

 Everybody huddled in the aisle.

 Tai frowned. "We're not powerful and quiet at the same time. I don't think the
 digidestined would be liable choices for a mission like this."

 Conker emptied his pockets. "...I'll get back to you on that as soon as I find
 my silencer."

 Vegeta stepped forward. "The only fighters here suitable for melee combat are I,
 Kakarot and his son. Those people over there with those archaic weapons may be
 of some help as well."

 Karsh strided in, next to Vegeta. "The Chrono people'll go along with them."

 "I guess," Ultimanium said. "I mean, those people are the greatest melee
 fighters of their time, along with the Z fighters. The dropship will be loading
 up soon. Those going on the mission will be down in the hangar in ten minutes."

 Everybody nodded, and began to make their way out of the expansive war theatre.


 ********


 As Veemon waddled away from his chair, ready for a good game of Quake, he phased
 out mysteriously from his position. He reappeared on the center platform of the
 bridge.

 Veemon looked around him. "...er.... Ulty? Was that you?"

 Ultimanium's silouette appeared several feet away from Veemon. "You could say
 so."

 "Well, what am I here, for and..."

 Ultimanium, in a lightning-fast gesture, dove forward at Veemon and drove a
 large hypodermic needle through his right arm.

 "YYYYOOOOOOOOOOOOWWWWW!!!!" Veemon screeched. He began to rub the welt where his
 arm was bleeding. "What was that for?!"

 Ultimanium approached Veemon and rubbed his arm with a wettened piece of gauze.
 As Veemon gazed into his darkened face, he could swear that he was smiling.
 "Wait and see, Veemon. Wait and see."

 Veemon opened his eyes, and found himself back in the war room aisle again. He
 glanced down at his arm and saw a piece of gauze taped to where he got the
 needle.

 Davis looked over. "...Veemon? Where did you get that?"

 Veemon, in a daze, looked up the confused Davis. He would never believe
 something like that. "Accident in the mess hall. I was washing knives, and..."

 "Geez, Veemon. Don't wash knives. Let someone else handle it. You up for Q3?"

 Veemon grinned. "Yeeeeah!!"


 ********


 Gohan shook his head. "Rough stuff. Are you sure we'll be able to take it
 without the other peoples' help?"

 "Of course we will," Vegeta barked. "Those of Saiyan blood are true melee
 combantants, much more that can be said for these other insubordinates which
 supposedly make up our 'team'."

 "I'm not taking any of your shit this time, Vegeta," Karsh growled. "Don't get
 in my way. We have this entire mission under wraps."

 "Don't start this, guys," Goku sighed. "Alright, everybody wait in the hangar
 for me. I need to check something in my bunk first."

 "Hurry, Kakarot," Vegeta groaned. "I'm beginning to tire of your tardiness."

 Goku began to walk off toward the turbolift. "Sure will. See you guys in a
 couple of minutes." He stepped into the transport and tapped a button on the
 control panel inside. The lift slid quickly down to the male bunk floor. As he
 stepped out, something hit him.




 "....King Kai?" Goku said, somewhat confused at the.... er... whatever King Kai
 is... attempting to pierce into his inner thought, sending him a message like he
 always had.


 ********


 Kai sprung up from his lawnchair. "Goku! Is that you? I've been trying to get a
 hold of you! I checked your normal dimension but I couldn't find you there!
 Where are you?"

 "You wouldn't believe me if I told you...." Goku mumbled. "Say, how long do we
 have until the Cell Games?"

 "I tapped into Master Roshi a couple of seconds ago, he said he saw you just
 phase out from where you were. He told me some kind of light engulfed you and
 whisked you away.... anyways, what's going on?"

 Goku blinked. Couple of minutes? Oh, yeah, time didn't exist in this dimension.
 He could've stayed eons on the Argetlahm and come back to the fourth dimension
 seconds after he supposedly left.

 Goku tapped onto Kai. "Remember the Ultimatum a while back?"

 "I was supposed to get back to you on that. What were those two large power
 levels present at the Ultimatum?"

 "Two men named Ultimanium and Ultramagnus. Anyways, I'm in another dimension,
 yes. Ultramagnus supposedly went on the fritz and invaded the third dimension.
 Since time doesn't pass here, I thought I would step in and help Ultimanium keep
 him under control."

 "What do you mean, time doesn't pass?"

 "...I've been here 5 days." Goku said.

 Kai fell out of his chair, and quickly got up. "Wha?!"

 "Anyways, Kai, I don't have time to talk about it right now. I have to go on
 another mission. If everything goes well, I'll show up for the Cell Games."

 "WHAT DO YOU MEAN, 'IF EVERYTHING GOES WELL?!?' GOKU!!"

 Goku quickly severed the psychic link. No point trying to explain something like
 that to Kai in a time limit of 3 minutes. He looked around. It had been seven
 minutes talking to Kai, so getting his lucky charm from his bunk would have to
 wait. He strided back into the turbolift and head for the hangar.
















 MISSION #2  -  Paradox Equation

 Get information on the prototype dimensionsplitter J2000, and gain access to the
 probe if possible. Lethal force unadvised. Danger level is classified under
 Defcon 2.

 Z TEAM will sneak in through the front of the building, while the CHRONO TEAM
 will attempt to get into the laboratory from the top. Both teams will work
 toward the J2000 and capture it, which then will be phased back to the Argetlahm
 for study. If one team fails, the other will be expect to cover up for them.

 Secondary objective - if available, gain plans for any new model
 dimensionsplitters that may be in construction.


 Good luck.










 The dropship phased into the street. One after another, the Z fighters slowly
 climbed out of the transport and peered at the destruction around them.

 Gohan grit his teeth. "This is bad..."

 The slums around them had apparently had some value to the city at some point.
 As corroded and weared down as the buildings around them were, they had a
 futuristic design to them. However, many of the windows were blasted out, and
 the walls were missing in several sections on each building.

 Goku tapped a button on his Scouter. "Never mind about it, Gohan. Let's just get
 to the meeting point and get this over with. The Scouter says 3 blocks ahead, 1
 left."


 ********


 Serge took his first step forward after the dropship deployed them onto the roof
 of the building. "This place is a warzone."

 Kid shifted uneasily. "You're telling me. This should be the building. I had no
 idea it would be this big."

 Karsh rubbed his hands together. "Weeell, we're not getting anywhere fast. How
 about we use the roof access to get down to the highest floor? Those hallways
 will be the least defended, and as long as we take out everyone at once, we'll
 have no problems with security."

 Serge nodded. "Sounds like a plan. Me and Kid will take the east access, you can
 have the west."

 Both groups departed to the downarching doorways on each end of the rooftop.
 With a click, they shut behind each other.


 ********


 Ultramagnus stood up for the first time in what seemed like hours to him.
 "Minonim? Do we have a status report?"

 The small probe hovered up to Ultramagnus' desk. "Yes, master... we're ready to
 shift whenever we get the word. However, I got word from some of the R&D droids
 that some extra dimensional calibration would be needed for the greatest
 accuracy. They didn't sound like they wanted to build another probe if this one
 got lost."

 "How long will that take?"

 "I would guess about 10 minutes, sir."

 Ultramagnus brushed back his gleaming blond hair and fell back in his seat.
 "Commence calibration. Take any longer and I'll see to things myself."

 A tiny microphone slid out of a slot of Minonim's arm, and he began speaking
 into it. "Commence dimensional calibration. Priority 8."


 ********


 Serge kicked out a steel plate on the celing. Like almost guided, the thick
 metal plate fell down and crushed a patroling android's head beneath it. Serge
 hopped down from the rafters, and helped Kid down to his position.

 Kid looked around. "The place's damn well kept for being an abandoned warehouse,
 huh?"

 The halls were plated in semi-shined metal. The floor was carpeted dark blue,
 stretching off as far as Serge or Kid could see.

 Serge turned around. "We should be able to meet Karsh at the stairwell. C'mon,
 let's go."


 ********


 Karsh reached over with his dualheaded blade and decapitated an android. The
 immobile body fell to the ground with a shower of sparks. With a fancy kata, he
 quickly returned the massive Rainbow Axe to his sheath on his back. Karsh dusted
 off his hands. "Good for the top floor... I suppose it only gets worse as we go
 down. I wonder if it was a good idea to split us up like that. I hope Ultimanium
 knows what he's doing..."


 ********


 Goku cautiously paced down the hall, Gohan and Vegeta on his flanks. They had
 managed to get in rather easily, and it was up to speculation whether the Chrono
 team had already run into trouble. Goku had little time to worry about it,
 though. He was worried about getting caught himself. He realized they were going
 to get noticed by the time they got to the J2000, and he could escape through
 the top of the building and pick up the Chrono team then.

 Vegeta plodded along. "Any readings, Kakarot?"

 Goku turned a small dial on the side of his Scouter. "None. Funny, is this the
 right place?"

 Gohan held a piece of paper to his face. "We got the right address. I checked.
 Do you think they might've moved the J2000? Maybe they know we're coming..."

 "Regardless," Goku pointed. "We're going to continue into the center of the
 warehouse and see if we can pick up the J2000 there."

 A loud beeping filled the air, radiating from Goku's Scouter. Vegeta stumbled
 back. "Kakarot! What's going on?!"

 Goku's eyes grew wide. "Power levels! Huge! Incoming!"

 Gohan backed off. "How do they know we're here?!"

 "The master knows all." A monontonous voice hummed.

 "Oh, son of a ..." Vegeta stammered.



 *All the heroes turn and face into a side hall. Standing in an expansive storage
 room is a blond man with a mustache, wearing a torn up karate gi.
 Er... if you've read Chronoceptor, you should know what we're talking about
 here....

 ANDROID 25  -  Cybernetic Commando Mk.II



 "I have combated your type before and lost," 25 droned. "I will be sure not to
 make that mistake again."

 Vegeta stood ready. "Another damned android! Power level?"

 "Around 800,000," Goku shouted. "It's defeatable, but we're going to have to try
 on this one!"

 "Do not worry about defeating me. You will not have that luxury. I shall take
 care of the child first."

 Gohan was able to let out an audible yell before the android barrelled through
 the air at him. The android threw a normal-speeded punch at him, which Gohan was
 able to sidestep easily.

 "Saiyan/Namek power level analyzed. Enabling melee combat module."

 Goku backed away. "I take it that's a bad thing."

 Blow after blow deflected by Gohan, the android began to speed up, slowly but
 surely. After landing several blows on the hellbent robot, Gohan's attention was
 focused on defending himself as the android began to reach up to his speed, when
 all of a sudden a loose fist slammed Gohan in the face, sending him flying
 through the wall behind Goku and Vegeta. Various cries of surprise could be
 heard from behind their position.

 Goku sweatdropped. "So much for quiet."

 "Kakarot! Forget about sneaking, we have to take care of the robot!"


 ********


 A siren sounded from Serge's position. He stopped walking.

 Kid glanced around her. "What's going on now? C'mon, we can't quit now, the
 stairwell's ahead!"

 4 androids ran up from behind Serge. "Are these the intruders?"

 Serge shifted his eyes. "..crap.."

 Kid had already lunged back to deal with a single android. A lasersharp blade
 crossed over the neck of the android up to the face. The remaining three
 advanced on her. Serge, seeing no other alternative, leaped in and flailed the
 Mastermune in the general direction of the androids, slashing one across the
 chest and batting one back. The last remaining one attempted to bring a clenched
 double-fist down on Kid, but Serge leaped at him in time and severed its arm,
 bringing another robot down in a flurry of electrical sprites.

 Kid caught her breath. "What the hell is going on here? Did the other squad set
 off the alarm?"

 Serge grabbed Kid's arm and began dragging her off in a run. "I don't know, but
 I don't think we're going to have any more time to get to the J2000. We're just
 going to have to fight our way down there."


 ********


 Karsh stood at the base of the 2 androids he had destroyed. "Damn it, that ass
 Vegeta set off the fricking alarm! I KNEW I shouldn't have gone along with this
 group!"


 ********


 Vegeta, unnatural hate for androids and all, was the first to leap in and launch
 an assault at the motionless android. As he dove through the air in front of
 him, the android threw up an arm to deter Vegeta's first punch. Vegeta froze in
 his position and threw jab after jab at the android, the robot blocking his
 every hit. Vegeta threw in two hooks, then, seeing an opening, dropped quickly
 and sweeped the android off its feet. As the android headed toward the ground,
 it braced itself with its hands and flipped off. Goku dove down with a flying
 knee, trying to pinpoint the defensive-minded foe, but he smashed down through
 the concrete flooring.

 Goku quickly glanced up. "Why the hell is it so fast?!"

 Vegeta hovered above the stacked crates and scanned over the storage. An eerie
 grey light shone over the exposed center area in the room via the large plate
 glass windows on a southern wall. "Come out, android... don't make me get..." a
 ball of ki formed on his hand. "...inaccurate."

 He ran a quick check of the room once again. Waiting not a second longer, he let
 loose a battle cry and slung a storm of ki blasts upon the floor of the storage
 room. Wood splinters and shards of concrete flew through the air as the
 explosions erupted in front of him. From admist the maelstrom, 25 flung himself
 from the destruction and planted a roundhouse kick in the side of Vegeta's head,
 making him spiral toward the ground. As fast as he righted himself, 25 and
 Vegeta began trading blows in a blur of motion. A quick riposting fist from
 Vegeta sent 25 shooting toward the ground, the impact sending up the tattered
 remains of the room in a cloud of debris. Vegeta lunged down at the ground after
 the android and began beating it mercilessly. With a cry of rage, Vegeta drove
 his fist down through the android's chest, sending up a storm of sparks. With a
 flash, the sparks on the ground died out and the android's eyes turned a
 disabled black. With several shocks, the android shorted out.

 Vegeta started breathing again. "....Pfft.. androids." With a grimace he plunged
 another fist into the mechanical corpse of the android and tore it in half.

 Goku helped Gohan up from the wreckage. "Hey... you all right?"

 Gohan coughed. "Yeah... I guess..."

 Vegeta folded his arms. "I imagine security has been notified of our little
 escapade. Perhaps we should just cruise to the J2000 from hereonin?"

 Goku looked reluctantly at Vegeta. "...we don't have any choice. Let's go."


 ******


 Serge looked down from the balcony. A massive stage sat in the center of the
 large open storage room. On it sat a device looking like the J3. However,
 instead of the red chrome paintjob, the entire probe itself was a white
 silouette. Serge scratched his head. "What's the deal with that?"

 Kid leaned over the guardrails. "Hell if I know. We aren't getting there anytime
 soon, with that many guards." Kid gestured out onto the open floor, where at
 least 30 guards stood in a solid circle surrounding the stage, facing outwards.


 ********


 Minonim lit up. "Master, R&D confirms that dimensional calibration has been
 completed. Begin final countdown?"

 Ultramagnus folded his hands. "Start it."


 ********


 Goku stepped blindly into the massive storage room. Before he could lift a hand,
 he saw all the androids guarding the J2000 bearing down on him. He quickly threw
 his hands in front of him and expeled a large ki blast, tearing apart 4
 androids. Soon, the androids had all surrounded him and beat him down to the
 ground.

 Serge bailed off the balcony and leaped down a stack of crates, leaping through
 the air on his last step and slashing the heads of 2 androids clear off. Karsh
 bounded down from another facing stack of boxes to the ground below.

 Karsh stood to his feet. "Serge? Kid? Goku? What are all you guys doing here?"

 As the entire group prepared to strike at the androids surrounding them, the
 J2000 sparked and let out a transmission.


 *T-minus 2 minutes*


 Gohan stumbled. "Why didn't we notice this before?"


 ********


 Lord Raul sprung out of his chair on the bridge. "Damn it! Guys! Get out of
 there!!"


 ********


 Goku backed in towards his friends, all of them being surrounded by the
 approaching androids. "We're too late! We have to get out of here before the
 J2000 shifts!"

 Karsh held up his axe. "We're a bit blocked off here."

 Gohan looked back at everybody. "Karsh! Kid! Serge! You guys take the dropship,
 and we'll be right there!"

 Kid shrugged. "If you say so." She dove at the nearest android to her and lopped
 its head off. In a split-second, the Chrono team rushed through the temporary
 breach created by Kid and ran as fast as they could to the building entrance.


 *T-minus 90 seconds*


 Vegeta grinned. "We'd love to stay... but we have greater manners to attend to."
 He sent a wave of energy blasts in a sheet in front of him with a wave of his
 hand, destroying another 5 androids. With a leap, Vegeta was surrounded with an
 energy aura and he flew straight up, shooting through the floors of the building
 and outside. Goku and Gohan followed suit.


 *T-minus 50 seconds*


 Goku and the gang quickly landed outside by the dropship. Everybody leaped in
 and did up their belts. Serge took the throttle of the transport and jacked it.
 "Hang on, everybody!!"


 *T-minus 20 seconds*


 The dropship Sigma tore off into space.


 *T-minus 10 seconds*


 ********


 Ultramagnus watched the entire event through the third monitor, smiling to
 himself. "Didn't look like your little cronies showed up in time to stop me, did
 they, Ultimanium? Have a last look at your beloved ship.. there won't be much
 left of it!!!"


 *6...5...4...3....2....1...0*


 A wave of energy crackled through the several surrounding blocks of the city as
 the J2000 blasted into the dimensional warp. Ultramagnus watched everything
 through a line feed.

 Everything froze.

 Ultramagnus shot up in his seat. "MINONIM!! What's happening here?!"

 Minonim whipped around. "Sir! The compressed quanta isn't holding up to the
 linear compression! It won't last in the first dimension!!"

 Ultramagnus slammed his fist down on the table. "Then bring it back!!"

 "We can't, sir! It seems the infrastructure of light is only SPEEDING THE LINEAR
 COMPRESSION UP! Not only will it not last in the first dimension, it won't last
 even through the dimensional gate!"

 Ultramagnus rubbed his chin. "But if it compresses IN the gate..."






 Minonim hovered up. "A dimensional rupture will occur. The dimensions will
 intersect for a short time in the target dimension, probably a couple of hours.
 Sir, we've lost the probe."

 "And this dimensional rupture will do what?"

 "We have yet to research that. Whatever it is, though, it can't be good. The
 Argetlahm is bound to run into it at some point, and they will NOT be prepared
 for it."

 Ultramagnus stopped, and relaxed in his seat. "....maybe this wasn't a total
 loss at all. Minonim, track the dimensional rupture and report to me of its
 whereabouts and actions."

 "Can do, sir."









 WHAT COULD THIS DIMENSIONAL RUPTURE POSSIBLY SPELL FOR THE INHABITANTS OF THE
 ARGETLAHM?? LIKE HELL YOU WANT TO KNOW... BUT IN CASE YOU DO, READ ON TO THE
 NEXT THRILLING CHAPTER OF THE ARGETLAHM ADVENTURES, DUE UP SHORTLY!!!! .....
 yeah. Read it.


 END OF CHAPTER 6









 *Camera pans around a room, lined with bookcases, as classical music plays in
 the background. The camera finally stops on a person in a recliner, next to a
 table with a lit candle.*


 Keyvan :  Hello. You probably don't know me, but if you do, YOU NEED A LIFE!!!
 *ahem* anyways, I speak to you now from the tomes of knowledge I use regularly
 for writing purposes. My name is Keyvan Chandonnet, penname Ultimanium, and
 author of this fic.

 Keyvan :  Humor. Humor can be defined and expressed in many different ways. Some
 people prefer kiddie humor, vulgar humor, anything that comes their way. Upon
 surveying FanFiction.net, I have realized that two major devlierances of humor.
 First, and foremost, you have conventional humor, which the author of the
 speaking fanfic has planned out to use situations in the normal program which
 the fic is based on to humorous effect. And, then, you have random humor -
 people who just type in random, useless, and totally STRANGE situations for
 their character. Proficient examples of random humor include (yes, you can type
 these in the Title Search box and get an answer) The Worst DBZ Story Ever,
 Origami Pants among others. (A/N - Random, stupid, and FUNNY AS HELL! If you're
 into that kind of thing, of course.)

 Keyvan :  (Folds his hands) Anyways, that brings us to our most recent chapter
 in the Argetlahm Adventures. Seeing that a dimensional rupture is heading toward
 the Argetlahm, and no one has any damn clue as to what that's supposed to mean,
 I will use this chapter to try out my... RANDOM HUMOR!!... okay, then. I, Keyvan
 Chandonnet, is proud to present to you...






 Cody and Squall's F**ked Up Adventure!!





 *The bookcase behind Keyvan swings around and Cloud leaps out in front of Keyvan
 from where it once stood*

 Cloud :  It's F**ked Up!!

 Keyvan :  That was my line.

 Cloud :  F**ked up forever!!

 Keyvan :  If we want this to stay PG-13 any longer, you would have to stop
 swearing.

 Cloud :  F**k! That wouldn't be good!


 Keyvan :  (glares at Cloud) oooookay then. Let's see what we can f**k up here.













 Argetlahm Mess Hall
 Day 6, 6:13 AM



 Ultimanium sighed. "So you never DID get the J2000, did you?"

 Goku sulked. "...no.."

 Vegeta sprung from his cereal. "We would've, if it weren't for those damn
 androids!"

 Ultimanium swept Goku and Vegeta away. "Sorry, guys, but I'm going to have to
 ban both of you from the rec room for a while."

 Goku's jaw dropped. Vegeta sat and snickered to himself.

 "Or the training room."

 Vegeta scowled to himself and stormed out of the mess hall.

 Ultimanium climbed up onto a table. "Everybody! Can I have your attention!"

 Everybody looked at Ultimanium.

 "Alright. The 6 people assigned for last mission DID NOT get the J2000 out of
 reach of Ultramagnus, and he has activated it. However, the probe did not make
 it all the way through the dimensional gate to our dimension before being
 compressed."

 Gatomon leaned back in her chair. "And that affects us how?"

 Ultimanium bowed his head. "I don't know. I just heard that any compression
 occuring IN a gate can cause a minor dimensional rupture. Eventually, it will
 heal itself, but it will be heading toward the Argetlahm shortly, and we do not
 have time to warm the engines. I need you all to remain in your bunks for the
 next several hours until the disruption heals. I will use the J3 to set up a
 second-layer anti-dimensional field around your bunks, and I will tell you when
 the anolomy has subsided."

 Everybody groaned and began to make their way out of the mess hall, headed
 straight to their bunks for what would be a long nap. But we know better than
 that.


 ********


 Magnus turned his chair around. "The second antidimensional field has been
 activated. Now we just have to wait and see."

 Ultimanium turned back out towards the glass dome of the bridge. It was almost
 like space-time rippled in front of them, beckoning them into the storm. "Okay,
 then. Set up another field around the bridge, so we can survey the anolomy."

 Magnus reached over and tapped another button. "Gotcha."

 As Ultimanium left to watch space from the other side of the bridge, Lord Raul
 leaned over Magnus' control panel. "Is the power throttle supposed to be all the
 way up for the J3 to set up antidimensional fields? I thought it was all the way
 down. Is that the right field polarity?"

 Magnus shrugged. "Hey, I checked. Everything'll be all right."

 Ultimanium whipped around. "We're entering the anolomy in seconds. Send out a
 message to the Chosen."


 ********


 Squall threw his fist against the door. "Who's in there?!"

 "Give me a damn minute!" TK yelled. The door slowly slid open and he stepped
 out. Squall rushed in. TK looked back at the iron door. "I bet the girls don't
 have to go through this."

 Conker sat leaning against a wall. "4 girls for a bathroom, 20 guys for the
 other. We need to talk to Ulty about getting another one installed. I hope the
 rest of you can get to the bathroom and do your business in about... um.... 2
 minutes. The bunks are going to be locking down into Code Red."

 Izzy sat, poised on the floor. "So these Gundams... they supposedly enhance your
 reflexes?"

 Duo shrugged. "That's all I've been able to make of it."

 (A/N - If you're wondering about this, Izzy and the Gundam guys got here at the
 end of chapter 4 on Ultimanium's dropship. Read the damn story, people!)

 Izzy rubbed his chin. "I've heard of technology like that being used
 somewhere... I forget where, though... could you possibly show me the main
 module of the Gundams?"

 Heero shook his head. "Classified information."

 Before Izzy could retort, the hall was dumped into a deep red light. The
 loudspeaker crackled again.


 "The Argetlahm is entering Code Red. All Argetlahm personnel report to their
 bunks, lock up and await further instructions. Thank you, and have a nice day."


 Cloud started towards the turbolift. "That's our cue."

 "Who's left in the bathroom?" Serge asked.

 Conker quickly counted those present. "Squall and Cody." He quickly strided over
 to the bathroom door and rapped hard on it. "Squall! Cody! Hurry up in there!
 We're entering Code Red!" He turned back to the group. "C'mon, guys, let's get
 down to our bunks before anything nasty happens."


 ********


 Cody tossed open the stall door and walked over to the sink, and began washing
 his hands. He turned to face Squall, standing at a urinal.

 "Hey, Squall. Did you hear something out there about Code Red?"

 Squall zipped himself up, and began washing his hands as well. "They must be
 getting into their bunks now. We have to hurry."

 Both Cody and Squall shut off their taps and hopped in the turbolift, taking it
 down to the male bunks. As they stepped out into the hall, they noticed every
 single door was clamped shut.

 Cody gulped. "Are we too late?"

 Squall turned his head up in time to catch the transmission fizzling over the
 intercom.

 "Anolomy incoming. T-minus 30 seconds."


 ********


 Ultimanium glanced hastily around the bridge. "Everybody, brace yourselves."

 Magnus looked up from his computer console. "Hey, Ultimanium. Come and look at
 this for a second. I analyzed the field's strength, and I got a weird number out
 of it..."

 Ultimanium leaned over Magnus' shoulder and peered down on the screen in front
 of him. "..uh.. you're not supposed to have a negative number... " he shot back
 up. "DAMN IT!! IT'S NOT GOING TO WORK!!"

 Raul shot up. "Why?"

 "The polarity on the barriers is reversed!" Ultimanium yelled. "The anolomy is
 going to affect everything OUTSIDE of the bunks, and screw up everything
 INSIDE!!"

 Magnus sweatdropped. "..uh oh.."

 "T-minus 15 seconds!" Raul shouted.

 Magnus flinched. "Is there anything we can do about them?"

 Ultimanium sulked. "I suppose we have to wait... and let the anolomy take its
 course..."

 "T-minus 5 seconds! 4! 3! 2! 1!...."


 ********


 Tai rested on his side. "I tell you, it's a thief sword."

 "Yeah, I say swallow."

 FWWWAAAAAASSSSHHHHH

 "No, I say swallow." Tai said.

 "No it isn't, it's a thief sword." Serge explained.

 Tai sat still for a minute. "...swallow?"

 Serge blinked. "Thief sword?"


 ********


 Davis looked up. "Hey, Conker."

 "Yeah?"

 "You know who's really hot?"

 "No, who?"

 FWWWAAAAAASSSSHHHHH

 "Izzy!"

 Conker, feeling some sort of sickness, hopped of his bed, faced down, and socked
 Davis in the face.

 "How about Gatomon? Would you recommend her?"

 Conker backed off. "What is going on here...."

 ********

 Karsh and Vegeta sat in their room, facing each other, bitching each other out
 over the normal things total rivals bitch each other out about.

 "Silence already," Vegeta growled. "Your power level compares nothing to mine."

 "Who the hell was asking you?! What in hell is a power level, and even if I
 knew, looking at me wouldn't determine it any! Damn it!"

 "You're worse than Kakarot!"

 FWWWAAAAAASSSSHHHHH

 Karsh blinked. "Y-you mean it?"

 Vegeta opened his eyes. "Sorry, did I offend you?

 "No problem," Karsh sighed. "I get it a lot. I forgive you."


 ********


 Rodent stood in the center of the room, facing towards the bunks. Gohan leaned
 off of the top bunk. "Eh, some militaristic casual dress you have there."

 Rodent stood tall. "Reminds me of my career."

 FWWWAAAAAASSSSHHHHH

 Gohan looked at Rodent strangely. "...a protestor?"

 Rodent looked down at himself, dressed entirely in plaid, with a flower tattoo
 on his arm. For some inexplicable reason, he had a beard that touched the
 ground. He let out a shrill scream.


 ********


 Armadillomon hid underneath a pillow, attempting to escape Goku's neferious
 snoring.

 FWWWAAAAAASSSSHHHHH

 The snoring stopped. Armadillomon climbed up the ladder to Goku's bunk... and
 found he wasn't there.


 ********


 Veemon sat in bed, attempting to sleep. Off in the background, Agumon and
 Patamon carried on a conversation in private.

 "So Vee's really going for Gato, huh," Agumon sighed. "About time someone took
 some action around here."

 Patamon shook his head. "I need help here, Agumon. It's almost like Gato likes
 that freak... and after that incident with the Change Now... well... images of
 TK, let's just keep it at that."

 Agumon shook his head. "I'm not taking sides. Besides, with all due respect, I
 wouldn't go out with a..."

 Patamon closed his eyes. "No. No. No. I refuse to admit it."

 "..batpig?"

 Patamon dove at Agumon and wrestled him to the ground. "Damn you! Damn
 yooooou!!"

 "Yeah, just try!" Agumon laughed. "If you're so desperate, why don't you take
 the next person who comes into this room, huh?!"

 FWWWAAAAAASSSSHHHHH

 An underwear-clad Goku dropped out from thin air and landed besides Agumon and
 Patamon, still in a snoring fit. Both sweatdropped.

 Agumon laughed uneasily to himself. "Er.."


 ********


 Ultimanium slammed his hands down on the control panel. "Give me a status
 report!"

 Lord Raul's swivel chair threw itself around. "No hull or systems damage, as we
 predicted. We're still picking up the Chosen, though. You might want to check
 this out... the floorplans show that everybody is locked in their bunk except
 for two people..."

 "Who?!"

 "Squall and Cody."


 ********


 "Squall! Cody!" boomed over the intercom.

 Cody looked over his shoulder. "Now we're in for it."

 "No, you're not in trouble! I have something very important to ask you! I need
 you to head down to the engine room where I keep the J3 and recalibrate its
 dimensional field!"

 Squall looked up. "But we don't know how."

 "There are some people on the ship not affected. Head to Conker's bunk and get
 him to give you a hand."

 Cody walked over and and tapped a button on the door, making it slide open.
 Inside, Conker was holding Davis away from him.

 "Er.. Davis?" Cody asked. "Could I ask what you're doing?"

 Davis turned to Cody with an extremely stupid grin on his face. "What do you
 think? I love him."

 Conker threw another fist into the back of Davis' head, knocking him out. "Poor
 guy. If we had Kari right now I would feel a little less inclined to sack him,
 but.."

 "We don't have time," Squall stated. "We have to get down to the J3 and
 recalibrate its dimensional field... or something..."

 Conker nodded. "I can do that. ... wait, is this space-dimension-anolomy thing
 causing all this?"

 The loudspeaker continued. "Yes. Now, go back into Davis' bunk and get his D3.
 Veemon is unaffected as well."

 Conker held up the D3. "You mean this pager-thingy?"

 "Yes. You'll need all the help you can get... outside of the dimensional defense
 barrier, some pretty weird things can happen... I gave Veemon a shot before I
 left that nullified his digivolution restraints, so anyone now can use the D3 to
 digivolve him. It was genes from another digimon... hmm... what was it... forget
 it, get down there to the J3 now! We don't have time!... oh.. great.."


 ********


 Another anvil fell to Ultimanium's feet. "...the dimensional barrier around the
 bridge is failing. There's no telling what could get through here if it fully
 collapsed."

 Magnus stepped to his side, barely dodging the computer desk that crashed into
 the ground where he once stood. "What's with all the crap falling on us? If it
 would stay as one thing, I wouldn't mind.. but, geez..."

 Raul dove out of the way of a wooden cabinet, which splintered into shards of
 material upon impact with the bridge floor. "It only gets worse from here, guys.
 Just dodge what you can!"


 ********


 (A/N - Now this is where it TRULY gets f**ked up. Just try to follow along the
 best you can.)




 Squall, Cody, Conker and Veemon all charged down the neverending hallway. They
 stopped at a large pit in the floor, grabbed onto conveiniently placed ropes,
 and swung across the chasm. When they all disembarked from the ropes, they all
 took off their recently aquired Indiana Jones fedoras and tossed them to the
 wayside and resumed their mad charge. All of a sudden, the bulkhead corrupted
 and crumpled, eventually collapsing, and everybody was sucked into space. Well,
 they normally would've died there and then, but Keyvan, being the nice author he
 is, let them all take a shortcut running along the hull of the Argetlahm. Still,
 though no one had to worry about air, it was a long run, and soon the heroes got
 tired. Several heavily armed jazz singers cornered the Chosen against the
 obscenely large rudder of the ship. They all held butterknives as they beared
 down on the group.

 Conker tossed Cody the D3. "Use this!!"

 As Cody attempted to figure out Davis' stupidly customized D3, Veemon lept into
 action. "Vee Headbutt!!" He dove at the fat African-American and drove a foot
 into its gut, sending it flying off into space.

 "No!" Conker yelled. "You were supposed to use your head!!"

 "I was trying!" Veemon wailed. He spun around and delivered a backhand into the
 face of another singer, making him explode for no reason other than to make it
 look like Veemon was actually kicking ass, when in fact he wasn't. A singer
 leaped off the hull of the ship and brought down a 12-foot long harmonica on
 Veemon's head, making him stumble off.

 Conker whipped up his Magnum and started firing, covering the frustrated Cody. A
 slug pierced through another jazz singer, making him turn inside out. Conker
 shot another round into him, imploding him.

 "NOW I get it!" Cody shouted. "Davis tried to install Windows CE on this thing
 but got only halfway through it! Veemon! Are you ready?" Veemon nodded.

 Cody punched the key on the D3, showing a somewhat... different... digiegg.

 Veemon... armor digivolve to....
 GINSUMON!! The pain of curiosity!!

 Ginsumon looked exactly like Veemon, except he was holding a 40-foot long
 butcher knife. As the remaining jazz singers charged at him, he just stood
 there.

 "Ginsumon!" Squall yelled. "Do something!!"

 Ginsumon just stood there. When the singers got close to him, they stopped and
 peered at the obscenely large blade he carried. "Hey, sweet ass knife, man," One
 said. "Can we see it?"

 Ginsumon grinned. "Why, sure." He handed the large knife away to the jazzman. As
 the singer ran his finger along the blade of the knife, Ginsumon yelled
 "REGRETFUL CURIOSITY!!", making the jazz artist drop the knife in surprise,
 chopping off the feet of each singer present.

 "Nooooo!!" One screamed. "Ginsumon! Don't think you've won this time!! You'll
 never get away with this... noooooooooooooo..." The jazz singers slowly began
 evaporating, and returned to whichever planet they came from, one by the name of
 Reggaeolis.. but that's another story for another day. Ginsumon dedigivolved
 back to Veemon and tossed the huge knife into space.

 Tai and Agumon poked their heads out of one of the many holes in the ship
 generated in the fight. "Hey, guys!"

 Squall turned. "Tai? Agumon? What are you doing here?"

 Tai rolled his eyes. "Well, given how screwed up this chapter is so far, we
 thought we'd join in and provide our OWN stupidity, just for the hell of it."

 Agumon.. warp digivolve to...
 WARCASULTYGREYMON!!

 Tai looked up at the once mighty Wargreymon, its gleaming armor torn into
 shreds.

 Warcasultygreymon looked down at himself. "YYYAAAAHHHH!! WHAT HAPPENED TO ME?!?"

 "We're almost there, Agumon," Cody said. "Don't worry about it."


 So the entire group dashed along the surface of the Argetlahm, trouncing
 anything and everything in their path. A Kimeramon, the ugly bitch Ultimecia
 (who is not related to Ultimanium in any way), the crazed ghost of Frieza,
 another Kimeramon, Akuma from Street Figher, several indians, the Edmonton
 Oilers, ANOTHER Kimeramon, the Russian Mafia, Ken (in a berserker rage because
 he never showed up in this fic), Venus Williams, Keyvan Chandonnet's evil
 neighbor, YET ANOTHER Kimeramon, a rabid husky, a swarm of bees, a locked door,
 which everybody walked around, Albert Einstein, the Isreli Armed Forces, three
 control spires, a crate of dark rings, the Empire State Building, and 5 million
 dollars were defeated by the group as they fought on.

 Conker fired off a round at Rose O'Donnell as she let loose a deep roar and
 lunged at the group. Conker dove and swept the money away and stuffed some in
 his pockets. "Are we there yet? I'm running out of ammo!"

 Tai tossed Conker a sack of potatoes. "Use these!"

 Using superhuman agility only granted in desperate situations like these,
 Conker, in a millisecond, gnawed away half of a potato to form a needle point on
 the end. He stuck the point into the gun barrel and shot it at Rosie O'Donnell,
 making her explode with an accompanying shockwave. Everybody fell down, but
 bounced off the hard steel coating of the Argetlahm and landed on their feet.

 As George Bush dove at the group, Squall leaped into the air and punched him in
 the face 8,924 times then kicked him in the groin. After a long hard hour of
 fighting, Squall landed back on his feet as the politician landed flat on his
 spine.

 Cody was managing to beat off various PETA protestors with his Kendo stick, but
 he was beginning to tire. "Veemon! Again!"

 Veemon... digivolve to...
 Exveemon!!

 Conker looked around. "...Exveemon? Exveemon! Where are you?"

 Demiveemon tugged at Cody's pants. "This isn't funny!"

 "Hmm... Exveemon...." Cody held out the D3 and turned Demiveemon back into his
 Rookie form.

 (A/N - Ex? Get it? .... screw you.)

 Cody fended off several more blows from a lanky old man wearing a tye-dye
 t-shirt. "We'll try something else! Digi-super-duper-ultra-mega-neat &
 tidy-multi-nitro-armor hyper-power-energize!!"

 Veemon... armor digivolve to...
 Magnamon!

 Cody dusted his hands. "That worked."

 Magnamon threw his arms back harshly. "Magna Explosion!!"

 A nova erupted on the surface of the ship, completely obliterating all the
 enemies around them.

 "Don't do it, man!!" The old man gasped. "Don't be a tool to the machine!!" The
 light engulfed him and left an empty skeleton in its wake.

 Tai looked up. "The J3 is right underneath our position. We can blast through
 the hull down to its position. Wargreymon!"

 Warcasultygreymon rose into the sky and began charging a ball of energy above
 his head. "Force Terra!!" The energy exploded in his hands, incinerating him.

 Tai stepped up. "Damn it! Do it again!!"

 Warcasultygreymon coughed. "Sorry. Always get those two mixed up. Terra Force!!"

 A bright ball of energy impacted against the hull of the Argetlahm, shattering
 it. Inside lied the engine room. For some reason, nothing was floating out.

 "C'mon, guys," Cody beckoned. "Let's finish this."
















 Ultimanium stood on the stage in the center of the war room. "Thank you all for
 putting up with the staying in the bunks. Special thanks to the people who
 refitted the J3."

 Conker rubbed his eyes. "Damn it... if anything like this happens again..."

 Raul shook his head. "We understand how you all feel. We were spending our time
 on the bridge dodging falling furniture. Magnus got nailed by a flying hot dog
 stand so he's down in the sickbay right now. For our apology, we are instating
 another 2 day holiday."

 Everybody cheered. Duo leaped up. "Yeeeah!!"

 Gatomon turned in her seat. "Veemon? Game of Starcraft?"

 Veemon blinked. Davis nudged him. "Uh... yeah, sure." Veemon stammered.

 "Great. Be in the rec room in a minute."




 So everything was fine in the Argetlahm again. The effects of the anolomy began
 to subside - Goku ran about the halls of the Argetlahm in his underwear and
 eventually found his clothes, which relieved everybody. Davis no longer had a
 fetish for digimon. Rodent shaved off his beard and went back to his militia
 ways. Karsh and Vegeta got into a fistfight shortly after the meeting in the war
 room. Tai and Serge began arguing again over the true term for the battlestaff.

 "Damn narrarator!!" Tai screamed. "Who's side are you on, anyways? Thief
 sword!!"

 "Swallow!!" Serge yelled.

 ... yeah. Anyways, all was fair on the Argetlahm. And this time, peace was going
 to last....




 ...by peace, I mean CONTROLLED pandemonium....




 END OF CHAPTER 7









 MYSTERY ARGETLAHM THEATER 3000
 (An Ultimatum sidestory)



 I normally hadn't anticipated this, but this chapter is pretty large. It doesn't
 suit the subject matter, which is pretty stupid. If you really don't care to
 read this, just skip to the next chapter. Nothing happens here which affects the
 further missions, so go ahead and skip my wonderful barrage of insults in this
 chapter if you so please. I won't care. Yeah. I don't care. Skip the damn
 chapter! I don't give a rat's ass! Yeah!!.... sorry.


 (UPDATE: Since the Argetlahm Adventures have been published, it has come to my
 attention that this MST blows goats. Therefore, I have written a complete
 re-riffing of the fic below on my account on Fanfiction.net, under MAT #1 -
 Grand Reentry. If this one starts to go bad, read that one, as it is, in my
 mind, a LOT better. Thank you.)




 Argetlahm Rec Room
 Day 6, 8:45 PM




 Conker sat on the soft pressed couch of the rec room and stared at the large 45
 inch television ahead of him. He eyed the basic VCR sitting on top of the
 massive console. His vision then turned to the large wall rack in the corner
 filled to the brim with videos. Struggling, he pushed himself up off the couch
 and pulled a movie out of the rack. "What the hell... what are these..."

 Davis shoved off the couch and yanked another tape from the stand. "..can't say
 I've seen these before... they all say "FF" at the bottom. Do you know what that
 means?"

 Conker reached for a wall switch. "No, but I know how to figure it out."

 "Hello?" Ultimanium said over the intercom.

 Conker spoke into the mounted microphone next to the switch. "Hey, Ulty, what's
 the deal with all these movies you have in here? They all say 'FF' on the bottom
 of them. What does that mean?"

 "FF is short term for FanFiction."

 Davis lifted an eyebrow. "..Fan.. Fiction?"

 "Stories written by followers of the journeys of great heroes. They are
 generally not often true, they are just to show a fascination with the
 adventures of a person or group. Some of the starring roles in these movies you
 should find VERY familiar."

 "Good enough, Ulty. Thanks." Conker flipped off the switch. "Hey, Davis. You
 wondering what these are? Maybe we should look at them, and..."

 Conker froze. A grin began to creep across his face.

 Davis tilted his head to the side. "... Conker?"

 Berri walked up. "He's got that grin again.... do you really want to that
 bad..."

 Conker shook his head. "Not right now. Maybe after, though."

 As Berri walked away, Kid walked up. "Hey, mates! What's going on here..."



 Conker smiled. "A little film festival. A screwed up little film festival."













 The preperations were made. The fun was ready to begin.

 TK stepped up. "Davis? Could you mind telling us what's going on here?"

 Davis stopped pacing and gestured toward TK. "Conker told me to get you guys all
 down here. Don't ask me what he's doing. I think it's pretty screwed up too."

 Vegeta leaned back against the wall. "Given what your friend here has done to
 the rec room entrance..."

 Everybody glanced over to the heavy steel door that lied in front of what
 normally was the rec room door. The gate had a large "6" emblazoned on it.

 Kid looked around. "Everybody's here who you wanted... Vegeta, TK, Agumon and
 Cloud. I wonder what Conker wants with us."

 As everybody joined into discussion over Conker's motives, the scene slowly
 blacked out.


 ********


 Conker rubbed his hands. "Here we go." He tied the knot that secured Rodent to
 the celing, keeping him up there just in case he tried to cause trouble. He was
 set. Starting up the WAV file on one of the computers, the mayhem begun...


 ********














 In the not too distant future,

 Somewhere in time and space,

 Ulty and his combat crew

 Are caught in an endless chase



 Pursued by Ultramagnus,

 Spawned by dimensions unfurled,

 A Super Saiyan dictator

 Who wants to rule the world



 Ultramagnus packs his bags

 And chases the Argetlahm all over the dimensional drag!





 *Rodent begins squirming*

 RODENT -  GET ME DOWN!!!

 CONKER -  Shaddup!!



 *The camera quickly changes to the Argetlahm bridge. Ultimanium is sitting in
 his chair, facing the camera, while Goku and Serge bob to the beat in the
 background.*


 ULTIMANIUM -  Conker'll get 'em fanfics! The lamest he can find!

 SERGE & GOKU -  La la la

 MAGNUS -  They'll have to sit and watch them all and he'll monitor their minds!

 SERGE & GOKU -  La la la

 RAUL -  Now keep in mind they can't control when the stories start or end...

 SERGE & GOKU - La la la

 ULTIMANIUM -  He'll try to keep his sanity with his other bunking friends!




 ROLL CALL!!!




 Conker!
 (I like booze!)

 Davis Motomiya!
 (The next Roger Eb.. never mind.)

 Vegeta Briefs!
 (Shut up, I'm training.)

 Kid!
 (Oi! Get me big knives and lots of 'em!!)

 Agumon!
 (Who's got the food?!)

 Cloud Strife!
 (This is a porno, right?)

 T-KAAAAAAAAY!!!
 (This had better be short.)




 MAGNUS -  If you're wondering how they eat and breathe, and other science
 facts...

 SERGE & GOKU -  La la la

 RAUL -  (begins rolling his eyes) Just repeat to yourself... "this is only one
 chapter! I really should relax!"




 ULTIMANIUM, MAGNUS, RAUL, SERGE & GOKU -  Foooorrrr....




 Mystery Argetlahm Theatre 3000!!!!!!


 *From nowhere in particular, Berri flicks back one of those
 springy-doorstop-things.*

 TWAAAANNG






 ********

 *Keyvan catches his breath*

 KEYVAN -  Holy shit, that was lame. It was an attempt, anyways... ;)

 ********




 As everybody waited at the massive doors of the Rec Room, they slowly slid open,
 revealing Conker's silouette. "Hey, guys. Glad you could make it."

 Everybody turned to face the darkened Conker, Davis last. "Huzzah? Conker? Oh..
 hey, what was it you wanted us down here for?"

 Conker's vision panned across those present. "There's some movies in the Rec
 Room. Namely, those of 'fanfics', adventures written by bards who follow famous
 figures' adventures. I took some time to take a look at some of them, and... to
 say the least... I wasn't terribly impressed. There were fanfics of everybody on
 this ship. Further, made up adventures of everybody... Davis, TK, Vegeta, Kid,
 everybody. You are my personal panel of reviewers I chose to critique another
 fanfic I chose to watch...

 "One called 'The Black Warp Saga', by Kamon."

 ********


 *Keyvan turns to the camera and grins nervously*

 KEYVAN -  Er... I sure hope you don't have to ask permission for things like
 these... now, before we continue on, I just chose a fanfic out of a hat to burn,
 which isn't to say Kamon's fics are notoriously bad.. they are actually pretty
 good... still, every author has their days when they go
 illiterate/stupid/nonsensical for a couple hours on end, normally when they
 write a story. ...
 Sorry. I'll shut up now.


 ********




 The hall was darkened again with a deep red light.

 Cloud leaped forward valiantly and pointed. "We have story sign!!"

 Everybody just kind of looked at him, before making their way through the heavy
 steel doors ahead of them.



 6...5...4...3...2...1...







 **********


 *Conker presses the play button*

 CONKER - Here we go. Everybody shut up.. at least until the movie starts. Just
 blurt out anything that comes to mind as you watch the movie.










 "Soon, the world will be completely shrouded in our darkness!" jeered a voice in
 the shadows. He was working on a project on a computer. This was the main goal
 of all the evil in the digital world. Soon, it would be complete.


 TK - I could identify someone.


 *Meanwhile, elsewhere on the Argetlahm, Izzy's lip twitches*


 "Yes, my puppet… open the gate! With it open, I will have no need for you."
 Announced a voice on the computer. The image on the screen was of a black hole
 sort of object, the Dark Warp. But it wasn’t only one voice speaking.
 "The gate will open in ten… nine… eight…"


 DAVIS - Eight.. nine... ten...nine... eight... seven... eight.. nine...


 *Agumon smacks Davis in the back of the head*


 CLOUD - Evil cackling computer go... Slave Izzy go... all systems go!


 CONKER - Blastoff!


 "Kari, wait up!" panted T.K. as he chased after her to school. They had lost Tai
 and Davis, but they had lost their way, as well. They were in the school
 grounds, but they had never seen this part before.


 TK - (points) This place... it's so... different...yet so familiar...

 VEGETA - The school yard is extremely well mowed.

 TK - (snaps his fingers) THAT'S it! I thought I knew this place!


 It was their fist day in the new high school, and it was an hour before school.
 Two years had gone by since their battle against MaloMyotismon, and they were
 convinced that the new Digidestined would be around, but they couldn’t find any
 new Digidestined.


 KID - (random Tamer) There's Digidestined... but then there's TAMERS!!


 "T.K., Kari’s over there!" said Patamon from his backpack.
 "Thanks, Patamon." Thanked T.K. But when he was just about to reach the tree, he
 was hit by bark, leaves, and splinters, falling down, and losing consciousness.


 CONKER - LEAVES!! EVERYBODY, HIT THE DIRT!!!

 DAVIS - Thousands of unconscious children lie in the wasteland, welts forming on
 their foreheads. In the center of the mayhem, a sign reads CAUTION - LOW
 BRANCHES.


 "T.K.!" yelled a voice, which echoed slightly in his head. He opened his eyes to
 see Matt, Tai, and Kari standing above him. It was then that the fact that he
 was on a hospital bed hit him.
 "What happened?" he asked.
 "The tree just blew up! Bark flew everywhere!" yelled Kari.


 CONKER - Birch elm disease strikes back.


 "But, there may be more to the story than that…" said Matt, pulling out a
 newspaper. It read: Terror in Tokyo, Monsters Return.
 "So, you think an evil Digimon blew up the tree?"


 VEGETA - Odaiba High School's new gardener had an entertaining, but shortlived,
 first day at work.


 "Of course! I didn’t see it, but the blasts of trees exploding all over the park
 is enough for me!"


 AGUMON - (school principal) fire the damn idiot!


 cried Kari, nearly crying at the memory of all the explosions.


 *Everybody makes exploding noises*


 "Well, if there are evil Digimon, we’ll have to stop them." Encouraged Tai,
 trying to keep the group calm.


 DAVIS - Bring the ass to the principal, he'll talk some sense into his fellow
 worker.


 "Hey, kids, if you want information on those monsters, check the news!"
 suggested a doctor, turning on a tv. The reporter was showing a group of scenes,
 each one showing a shadow of an evil Digimon.


 KID - Contestant #1, come on doooooown!


 "Monster attacks have been seen around the world. All have been light, as if
 they were searching for something. But all lead towards the Monster Capital of
 the World, Japan."


 KID - (counting on her fingers) ...Godzilla... Myotismon... Mothra....

 DAVIS - And every damn video game and anime company there is inventing new ones
 by the minute.

 CONKER - Battle royal between every single conceivable dark force in the galaxy
 in Tokyo Square at 10:30.. tonight on Pay-Per-View...


 T.K. flicked the tv off.
 "So that’s what the attack was, just as we thought. How bad am I hurt?"
 "Not bad," began the doctor. "Just a cracked rib. It wasn’t cracked badly, and
 it was healed. But those cuts on your arm are bad, and may take weeks. They may
 become permanent scars. But you can leave the hospital when you’re ready."


 TK - Surgeon General's Warning - Zenith 27" TVs are being taken off the market.
 If you own one, cease using it. There have been reported cases of bodily
 injuries caused by turning them off.


 "I am. Let’s go, guys." Said T.K., getting up and walking away.
 "So, what now? I always dreamed of playing around in the real world!" yelled a
 voice excitedly.
 "How about showing the world an iron fist?" suggested another voice, less
 blocked in shadow than the first.
 "Let us perform the Dark Destiny Play, my friends!"
 "I’ll give the world a melt down they won’t forget."


 DAVIS - (grinning) meltdown....

 CONKER - (dark shadowy figure) we have a resovoir filled with malt liquor. Once
 we get it into the city's water supply our plan will be complete!


 "Then why not?"


 CONKER - Checking my e-mail, sorry.

 DAVIS - Survivor's on.

 TK - My car won't start.

 KID - I'll be out of town on business then.

 VEGETA - Maybe we just don't like malt liquor.

 AGUMON - If you don't mind, I'm watching this grass grow right now.


 T.K. woke up the next morning after sleeping in. It was Saturday, and he and the
 Digidestined had investigating to do. They had no idea where to look for the
 evil Digimon


 *Davis and TK roll their eyes*


 and they had to start by noon.
 "Honey, make sure you see the news!" said T.K.’s mother as she walked out the
 door on a trip to the U.S.


 DAVIS - Don't use my warp gate while I'm gone!


 As he turned on the news, he nearly fainted. Five buildings, each full of
 people, had been leveled that night, two in Highton View Terrace, and three in
 Odiba. Giant monsters where down town, and he decided to go after them.


 KID - Where's Patamon?

 TK - In his bunk.

 KID - TK, without Patamon to defend him, was stepped on by a DarkTyrannomon.
 'nuff said. The end.


 "Ken, we gotta hurry!" yelled Davis. They where running out of the apartment
 building


 CONKER - Collapsing beneath them, of course.


 so that they could use their Digimon to get to the evil Digimon. They went
 downstairs, out the door, and into the parking lot. They were almost ready to
 Digivolve, when a voice and an explosion stopped them.


 TK - Wood! Incoming!

 DAVIS - We're gonna catch that damn gardener now, whether he likes it or not!


 "Going somewhere, brats?" sneered Daemon, behind the wreck that was once a car.


 TK- Er... car?

 KID - So it wasn't a tree, it was a car! So instead of busting every bone in
 Davis' and Ken's
 bodies, it KILLED 'EM! SO THERE!!


 "Let’s make him pay, Davis!" yelled Ken.


 AGUMON - We payed you to plant those trees and look what the hell happened! We
 want our money back!


 "Right!" agreed Davis, as they held out their Digivices.
 ****Wormon, Digivolve to…
 ****Veemon, Digivolve to…
 ****Stingmon!
 ****Ex-Veemon!
 ****Ex-Veemon! ****Stingmon! D.N.A. Digivolve to….
 ****Paildramon!
 "Desperado Blaster!"
 The blast knocked Daemon back, but wasn’t effective.
 "Evil Inferno!"
 The blast was headed strait for Paildramon, when…


 CONKER - The fire department showed up! Joy!

 TK - Ken whipped out his trusty bucket of salt water!

 DAVIS - Davis found Wargreymon's shield in his back pocket.


 ****Paildramon, Mega Digivolve to… Imperialdramon!


 TK - (sighs) these people are no fun.


 "Errr!" growled Imperialdramon as he took the hit. "Posatron Lazer!"


 DAVIS - *cough* Positron Laser! *cough*


 "Evil Inferno!"
 The attacks hit in the middle and caused a large explosion, resulting in a large
 crater in the parking lot.
 "Well, it’s Saturday, why not barbecue?" snickered Daemon, hitting
 Imperialdramon with the flames.
 ****Imperialdramon, Mode Change to… Fighter Mode!


 TK - (nods) Still a bit late.


 "Giga Crusher!" yelled Imperialdramon, firing his blast at Daemon, deleting him
 for good.
 "Well, let’s see exactly how well these humans can play!" yelled Puppetmon,
 firing his barrage of lasers, nearly killing seven humans. The blasts missed,
 but the cars were blown apart.


 AGUMON - (Daemon from the afterlife) meet my army of inadequate gardeners!!


 "Well, you’re all a little rusty, but we’ll give you dance lessons…"
 "Seven Heavens!" yelled Seraphimon, knocking Puppetmon away.
 "Well, who wants to play now?" laughed Puppetmon, getting his mallet ready.
 "If you’re about to play crochet’, give me a turn!" yelled Agumon.


 AGUMON - Let's settle this the manly way. (picks up a mallet)


 "Save the fun for us!" agreed Gomamon.
 ****Agumon, Warp Digivolve to… Wargreymon!
 ****Gomamon, Digivolve to… Ikkakumon!
 ****Ikkakumon, Digivolve to… Zudomon!


 KID - (Zudomon) I supply my own hammers. Can you guys get your own?

 CLOUD - (Wargreymon) Cheap son of a...


 "Terra Force!"
 "Volcan’s Hammer!"
 "Ahh!" yelled Puppetmon as the attacks hit him.


 CONKER - Go for the ball! Go for the ball!


 He was blasted away, but sneered and said. "Why don’t we play fair?"
 "I agree!" Said Metalseadramon, leaping out of a building


 TK - (Shakes his head) I'm not even going to ask.

 DAVIS - (rubs his chin) I have a really big suitcase in my closet he could've
 hid in.


 and tackling Zudomon.
 "Volcan’s Hammer!"
 "River of Power!"
 The hammer just barely knocked the blast away, but it bought Seraphimon time to
 hit Metalseadramon with his Seven Heavens attack.
 "Err! You’re pitiful light can’t defeat my nerves of steal!"


 CONKER - No matter how much you try to convict people of their sins, there's
 always going to be one idiot that shoplifts.


 "You may be brute-like, but you’re undersides is soft!" retorted Seraphimon,
 hitting Metalseadramon in the gut. Before he could recover, Metalseadramon was
 hit in the stomach with Volcan’s Hammer and Seven Heavens, sending him flying
 out into a nearby bay.


 VEGETA - How conveinient.

 DAVIS - We like to call them swimming pools.


 "Well, I’ll schedule a more private play date!" said Puppetmon, realizing he was
 outnumbered, before running away into a nearby building, where he would be hard
 to find, and couldn’t be fought if he was.


 KID - And slowly began killing off its inhabitants, one by one.


 "Well, they got away, but we’ll get ‘em next time." Encouraged Wargreymon,
 before De-Digivolving.
 "But just how many evil Digimon are on earth, and how will we fight them all at
 once?" asked
 Joe, being the worried one as usual.


 DAVIS - Pick a number between 1 and 10,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000.
 Oh, fight them? Be my guest.


 "I don’t know, but we can take them out if we team up and give it our all!"
 answered T.K.
 "I hope so, T.K., I hope so…"
 Holy cow, that was serious! Could I be any more lame?


 EVERYBODY - NO!!


 Review!


 CLOUD - You heard 'im, guys.

 *Everybody takes out notepads and pens and begin scribbling. After a minute or
 so of writing, they all store their pads beneath the couch's cushions.*





 *Conker looks around*

 CONKER - Okay, then. Back to the show.







 "Biyomon, the evil Digimon are that way!" yelled Sora, realizing that Biyomon
 was leading her and Mimi the wrong way.
 "Yeah, we aren’t running away, we’re going for the score!" yelled Matt, who was
 with her, along with Mimi, Willis, Izzy, and their Digimon.


 DAVIS - (Matt) Wargreymon's sunk every single ball in crochet so far! We'll
 never catch up at this rate!


 "Willis, I smell evil Digimon in both directions!" yelled Lopmon, trying to give
 them a warning.


 TK - If I've noticed anything in our adventures, it's that evil DOES have a
 distinct odor.


 "Hey, guys!" greeted Imperialdramon (fighter mode) as he, Davis, and Ken landed
 from their flight.
 "We were wandering the station, when the subway came in!" said Ken, stepping off
 of Imperialdramon. "Have you found any more evil Digimon?"
 "Not really, Biyomon got us lost!" Wined Mimi.


 CONKER - (turns around) speaking of which, is anyone up for wine? (takes out a
 bottle of liquor)

 TK - Sorry, we don't dri...

 CLOUD - (shoves over TK) lemme at it!!


 "Well, you’re ship has come in, or at least it’s weight!" yelled a fearsome
 voice that was way above them.


 KID - (Imperialdramon) Is the ship leaving here? I wanted to get out of this
 dump anyways.


 "So, enter ship two!" yelled another voice.


 AGUMON - (Ken) We're on the wrong boat!


 "It’s MaloMyotismon and VennomMyotismon!" cried Willis.
 "And we can’t beat them with Rookies…"
 "Then, we’ll just have to Digivolve!"


 CONKER - Now THERE'S a plan!


 ****Tentomon, Digivolve to… Kabuterimon!
 ****Kabuterimon, Digivolve to… MegaKabuterimon!
 ****Palmon, Digivolve to… Togemon!
 ****Togemon, Digivolve to… Lillymon!
 ****Biyomon, Digivolve to… Birdramon!
 ****Birdramon, Digivolve to… Garudamon!
 ****Terriermon, Golden Armor Digivolve to… Rapidmon!
 ****Lopmon, Digivolve to… Wendigomon!
 ****Wendigomon Digivolve to… Antylamon!
 The Song "Runaround" begins to play.


 CLOUD - (singing) get around, get around, I get around....

 DAVIS - Wrong one.

 CLOUD - Oops. Sorry.


 "Crimson Mist!"
 "Posatron Lazer!" The attacks hit, but the beams disintegrated.
 "Venom Infusion!" The attack hit Garudamon, smashing Garudamon to the ground.
 "Flower Cannon!"
 "Meditation Cure!"
 The blasts hit VennomMyotismon in the face, but didn’t even faze him (where have
 I heard that before…).
 "Crimson Mist!"
 "Giga Crusher!"
 Crimson Mist over powered Giga Crusher, hitting Imperialdramon. MaloMyotismon
 was about to finish off Imperialdramon, when he was hit in the back by
 Garudamon’s Wing Blade attack.


 TK - The power of all the dreams of every single Digidestined on the planet is
 ditched for an assault from a she-man bird. I feel reeeeeeally appreciated.


 "So, you children wish play ruff, huh?"
 With his thick fists, he smashed Garudamon over the head, crushing him to the
 ground and causing Garudamon to De-Digivolve.


 TK - (starts to moonwalk) Oh yeah... oh yeah....


 "Static Force!"


 *Davis shocks TK with some static from the couch.*

 TK - Ow!

 CONKER - Dave, that wasn't funny.

 DAVIS - (grins) An oldie but a goodie.


 "Wha!?-" MaloMyotismon was cut off as he was hit in the face, and crashed to the
 ground, unable to get up at the time.
 "Volcan’s Hammer!" yelled Zudomon as he hit VennomMyotismon in the stomach,
 which was followed by a combination of Metal Wolf Claw and Terra force. He fell
 to the ground, also unable to get up.
 "Spill it! How are you guys back? And aren’t you people the same guy?" asked
 Tai, slightly loud.


 CLOUD - Incoming oxymoron! Shields up!

 VEGETA - Slightly loud. Not obscenely loud, but not quiet, either.

 CLOUD - So that would be talking normal, then. This guy's starting to run out of
 descriptive words.


 "What makes you think I’ll tell you fools? I still have enough energy to destroy
 you!" yelled VennomMyotismon.


 CONKER - But we're on a sugar rush. Beat that.


 "You do not! We could kill you right now!"
 "You would never learn how we appeared, and separated, that way!"
 "He’s right. So, Imperialdramon, emphasize our threat." Commanded Ken, calmly.
 "Right!" agreed Imperialdramon, charging up his laser.


 KID - (Imperialdramon, in a husky German voice) Ve have vays of making you talk.


 "Okay! Well, if you knew about the dark warp, then you may have a chance of
 winning." Stated MaloMyotismon.


 KID - (Imperialdramon) WE ASKED YOU A QUESTION, DAMNIT!! POSITRON LASER!!!


 "A Dark Warp!?" yelled just about all of the Digidestined, all of whom were
 confused.
 "It’s a magnificent warp! It allows control, Digivolving, and anything else, as
 long as it is controlled by a dark force! It is what created Control Spires,
 Black Gears, Dark Rings, Dark Spirals, the Dark Ocean, the Dark Space of
 Apocalymon, Spiral Mountain, as well as all evil Digimon!


 TK - Davis begins cowering right there. You're afraid of the dark, you fricking
 wuss.

 *Davis sulks*


 So, it was able to split me into two, MaloMyotismon and VennomMyotismon."
 "We have to destroy the Dark Warp then!"
 "Not so fast! Giga Cannon!"
 Machinedramon stepped up, firing a blast of energy that De-Digivolved all but
 Wargreymon, MetalGarurumon, and Imperialdramon.
 "Giga Crusher!"
 "Giga Cannon!"
 The two "Giga" attacks caused a large explosion that nearly blinded the
 Digidestined and Digimon.
 "Metal Wolf Claw!" yelled MetalGarurumon, hitting Machinedramon.
 "You’re *grown* weak icy attacks can’t injure m-me!" yelled Machinedramon,
 though he was beat up and leaning on his drill-arm for balance.
 "Terra Force!" yelled Wargreymon, finishing off Machinedramon.


 AGUMON - The cool thing about being Mega is that you can kill people just by
 yelling at them.


 "Okay, MaloMyotis- ahh!" yelled Davis, shocked. MaloMyotismon and
 VennomMyotismon were both gone. They had escaped.
 Well, we’ll see what new evil Digimon the Digidestined will face in the next
 chapter, and if they manage to defeat the dark warp. Oh, and, REVIEW!!!







 VEGETA - For Christ sakes...

 *Everybody grabs their pads again and begin jotting down notes. They return
 their pads underneath their chairs*









 "How can we win? We’ve only shot out two, and the others took enough energy. How
 are we supposed to fight them all at once?" yelled Tai, slamming his fists
 against the wall.


 AGUMON - (Matt) There's only two walls left to fight! C'mon, guys! We can do
 this!!


 "Maybe if we had the entire team fully Digivolved, then found a way to give them
 more energy, we could win." Suggested Kari, trying to brighten the mood.
 "All are powers together didn’t win, and I’m pretty sure that that’s our best
 shot." Said Matt, just as mad as Tai.
 "We just have to find another way."
 "I know a way: Just give up!" yelled a voice. Puppetmon stepped out of the
 shadows, his mallet ready to fire.
 "Enter: The Puppet and the Clown!" sneered Piedmon, drawing out his sword.
 "Time to freshen the metal. When it comes to power, I’m stainless steel!" added
 Metalseadramon, flying up through the air.


 EVERYBODY - ....

 CONKER - That's gotta be some thick stainless steel.

 DAVIS - In the head.


 "We can handle this!" yelled Matt, taking out his Digivice.
 "Right!" said Tai, also withdrawing his Digivice.
 ****Agumon, Warp Digivolve to… Wargreymon!
 ****Gabumon, Warp Digivolve to… MetalGarurumon!
 "Metal Wolf claw!"
 "Terra force!"
 The attacks hit Piedmon, but did little damage.
 "You think that will defeat me?!"
 "Puppet Pummel!"
 "River of Power!"
 These attacks hit Wargreymon, firing him backward into MetalGarurumon.
 "Trump Sword!"
 "Puppet Pummel!"
 "River of Power!"
 The attacks hit Wargreymon and MetalGarurumon again, damaging them pretty bad.
 "Err… we need more power!" complained Tai.


 CONKER - It's morphin' time!

 DAVIS - Amp it up!

 AGUMON - By the Castle of Greyskull! I HAVE THE POWER!!


 "We have got to find some way to win!" agreed Matt.
 "Tai, believe in us!"
 "Right, Matt!"


 TK - Wonder Twin Power - Activate!!


 "But… what if we can’t win?"
 "We can’t if that’s you attitude!"
 "You need to believe in us, or you will lose everything! Your homes, families,
 and your friends!"


 CONKER - The Argetlahm! Your soccer team! Your trophies! That bitch Sora!
 EVERYTHING!! DON'T LET US DOWN!!


 "We have to be in this together, Tai!"
 "… Right! But… for liability purposes, this isn’t copied from that one episode!"


 KID - (scratches her head) ...episode? Am I missing something here?

 VEGETA - Ignore it.


 "Tai!"
 "Huh? Ah- they’re… glowing!"


 DAVIS - Being railed in the gut with a beam of pure energy will do that to you.


 *********Wargreymon! MetalGarurumon! Power D.N.A. Digivolve to… Omnimon!
 "See, theses are the ideas that you can take from Davis and use for even better
 things!" said Tai.
 "All right, I think that I take offense for those injuries!" said Omnimon,
 grabbing Metalseadramon by the head and body slamming him.


 CLOUD - Commence the beatdown!


 Let’s kick it up!


 CONKER - (quickly glances around) Who was that?


 To show them all the things, that we can do,
 Let’s kick it up! Together!


 TK - Will the people in the grandstand SHUT UP AND LEAVE US IN PEACE?!?


 "Supreme Cannon!" commanded Omnimon, firing a blast that wiped out Puppetmon and
 Metalseadramon. "Still feel up to this now that you’re alone, Piedmon?"
 "Errr… Trump Sword!"
 "Fansendic Sword!" yelled Omnimon, slashing Piedmon, covering the area with
 light.


 DAVIS - (blinks) ...Transcendant Sword?

 AGUMON - (sweatdrops) Anscendant Sword?

 TK - What the hell is that attack called?! Do none of us know?!?


 "Ahh!" yelled Piedmon, disintegrating.
 Together!


 VEGETA - Cursed singers!


 "Yeah, we won!"
 "Go Omnimon!"
 "Oh, so you think that you fools stand a chance? Well, think again!"
 Who is this evil voice, and how many evil Digimon will come next time? Find out,
 next time, on the Battles of Doom Saga!


 KID - (scratches her head) I thought this was the Black Warp Saga.


 Well, there may not be much left to the story, perhaps a few more chapters…
 we’ll see. Please, review once for each chapter.
 I know that some people may not like my work, so review and tell me your
 opinions!




 *Everybody face faults*

 TK - (getting out his notepad) This is getting really tedious.

 CONKER - You're telling me. C'mon, everybody. Let's take a break.




 1...2...3...4...5...6...


 **********



 Conker trudged slowly up to the bridge. Ultimanium's chair turned around slowly.
 "Are you almost done, Conker?"

 "Yeah, we should be done in about half an hour. Why?"

 Ultimanium stood to his feet. "I have another mission for all of you. I'll
 explain it to all of you when you're done. Hurry it up."

 "Why? What's going on?"

 "Ultramagnus is advancing his forces on an independant city in the third
 dimension. I'll let you finish your little escapade before we continue."




 ********


 Conker walked in and grinned. "Time's up!"

 Everybody groaned.

 Davis fell back onto the couch. "We've been on break for 2 minutes."

 "Well," Conker sighed. "We have to get this over with quick. Ulty says he has
 another mission lined up for you and he let me finish my show before we got a
 briefing. Back on the damn couch!"




 6...5...4...3...2...1...



 ********





 "Ha, so you fools think that you can win? Well, think again!" yelled the speaker
 of the voice, MaloMyotismon.
 "Ha! Well, time for you to go out!" yelled VennomMyotismon.


 DAVIS - (VenomMyotismon) We're buying you all supper at Burger King and there's
 nothing you can do to stop us!!!!

 TK - (VenomMyotismon) Ha! Well, time for you to go out with Davis!

 DAVIS - (looks at Tai onscreen) I feel violated.


 "Oh, and what do you guys think you’ll do?" asked Omnimon, obviously cocky.
 "I think reinforcements could do the trick!" answered Apocalymon, coming out of
 the air.
 "Errr… Tai, Matt, you guys should run!"
 "Right!"
 "But… Davis and the others can help!"
 "Yeah, we can!" yelled Davis.
 ****Veemon, Digivolve to…
 ****Wormon, Digivolve to…
 ****Exveemon!
 ****Stingmon!
 ****Exveemon! ****Stingmon! D.N.A. Digivolve to… **Paildramon!
 ****Paildramon, Mega Digivolve to… Imperialdramon!
 ****Imperialdramon, Mode Change to… Fighter Mode!
 "All right, we’re tough!"


 VEGETA - You may be tough, but are you tried and true?

 CONKER - Vegeta, what the hell was that?

 VEGETA - ... I figured I needed to say at least something during this chapter.


 "Right, Imperialdramon! Now, let’s get the others!"
 ****Patamon, Warp Digivolve to… Seraphimon!
 ****Gatomon, Warp Digivolve to… Magnadramon!
 ****Tentomon, Digivolve to… Kabuterimon!
 ****Kabuterimon, Digivolve to… MegaKabuterimon!
 ****Biyomon, Digivolve to… Birdramon!
 ****Birdramon, Digivolve to… Garudamon!
 ****Palmon, Digivolve to… Togemon!
 ****Togemon, Digivolve to… Lillymon!
 ****Gomamon, Digivolve to… Ikkakumon!
 ****Ikkakumon, Digivolve to… Zudomon!
 ****Hawkmon, Digivolve to… Aquillamon!
 ****Aquillamon, Gatomon Energy Digivolve to… Silphimon!
 ****Armadillomon, Digivolve to… Ankylomon!
 ****Ankylomon, Angemon Energy Digivolve to… Shokuomon!
 "Justice Beam!"
 "Static Force!"
 "Posatron Lazer!"
 "Wing Blade!"
 The attacks hit Apocalymon’s claws, destroying them.
 "Death Claw!" yelled Apocalymon, hitting Omnimon and hitting him into Silphimon
 and Garudamon.


 EVERYBODY - HE HAS NO CLAWS!!!


 "Screaming Darkness!"


 *Davis screams*

 AGUMON - (holding his ears) We could've done without that.


 yelled MaloMyotismon, hitting Omnimon again, as well as Imperialdramon.
 "Giga Crusher!" commanded Imperialdramon, blasting Apocalymon.
 "Volcan’s Hammer!" shouted Zudomon, destroying one of Apocalymon’s claws.


 *Conker goes down on the floor in the fetal position*

 CONKER - We already destroyed your claws. We already destroyed... your...
 claws...


 "Darkness Zone!" followed up Apocalymon, causing Zudomon, Lillymon, Garudamon,
 and Silphimon to De-Digivolve.
 "Supreme Cannon!" yelled Omnimon, hitting Apocalymon, and disintegrating him.


 KID - That wasn't terribly difficult, Apocalymon being the final
 big-satanistic-ultimate-destructive-boom-bam-evil destroying force of Season 01.


 "Venom Infusion!" Commanded VennomMyotismon, firing his lasers at
 Imperialdramon. Shokuomon, however, jumped in the way, saving Imperialdramon,
 but De-Digivolving.
 "Crimson Mist!"
 "Venom Infusion!"
 The attacks hit Omnimon, but they weren’t effective. Suddenly, the two
 Myotismons disappeared.
 "I’m sick of having them get away!" yelled Davis, squeezing his Digivice.
 "Oh, are you?" said a voice, calmly. "Well, my two troops were the power I
 needed. I’m sorry, but they won’t be coming back."
 "You destroyed them? And where are you?" asked Tai.
 "I am the Dark Warp. You can all call me Galvamon."


 DAVIS - He's.. Galvanized!!


 "Galvamon? Never heard of you."
 "I am the Digimon that possesses the strength of all the evil Digimon that
 you’ve fought. I won’t be taken lightly. I’m a Transform Digimon with the
 ability to Mode Change. My Dark Pearl possesses the Dark Warp, and the power to
 feed on fear."


 CONKER - (Galvamon) And it tastes good, mind you.


 "You mean… you’re the real enemy we’ve been after all this time?"
 "Correct, child. But now, it is my turn. You fools will bow before me in a world
 of complete darkness."
 "Omnimon! Attack!" shouted Tai.
 "Supreme Cannon!" obeyed Omnimon. Galvamon flicked the blast away with one
 finger.
 "Pathetic! Well, now comes my turn. Auto Blaster!"
 How powerful is the attack? Find out, next chapter, in the Galvamon Saga!


 KID - (stamps her foot down) What in bloody hell! It's different again!!

 VEGETA - (sighs) No more blasted reviewing. I'm a happy Saiyan.



 "Auto Blaster!" yelled Galvamon. The attack tore up the whole street, blowing up
 cars.


 CONKER - Analyze that Digimon!

 *Digimon Analyzer flashes up*

 GALVAMON - The big-dark-satanistic-ultimate-destructive-evil force for anywhere
 past 02, apparently. His Dark Pearl feeds on the fears of the lesser. His Auto
 Blaster attack shows his undying hatred for one thing other than the
 Digidestined - mass transit.


 "Everyone, Digivolve!"
 Soon, all the Digivolved forms appeared. Just like the experience in the World
 of Dreams, all the forms, including Mega for those who had Mega Digimon,
 appeared.


 CLOUD - Pretty colors... (Looks at the wine bottle in his hand) ... O_O No more,
 man... (tosses the bottle over his shoulder)


 "Terra Force!"
 "Supreme Cannon!"
 "Metal Wolf Claw!"
 "Posatron Lazer!"
 "Giga Crusher!"
 The attacks hit Galvamon, but he stood through them. Suddenly, he started to
 glow with Black Light.


 TK - Black Light is a registered trademark of Kamon Corporate Lt... no, dumbass,
 it isn't.


 ****Galvamon, Mode Change to… Dragon Mode!
 "Satin’s Fang!" he yelled,


 AGUMON - Now THAT'S going to hurt. (rubs a soft cloth on his arm)


 biting Omnimon with his red-hot fangs. "Imperial Crusher!"


 CLOUD - Not so Omni now, are you?


 His second attack hit twenty or so Digivolved forms, De-Digivolving them.


 DAVIS - (Galvamon) Smack Pow Crunch Blammo Biff Sok Pow Bam Crack Slam Biff
 Crunch Pow Blammo Smack Pow Crack Slam Blammo Pow Slam... yeah, I think that's
 all of 'em.


 "I shall rule over earth, and delete the Digital World!
 ****Galvamon, Mode Change to… Imperial Form!
 He was out of his attack form, and was now in his original form. But he now had
 the Black Pearl.


 AGUMON - To order your own Black Pearl, send $19.95 plus shipping and handling
 to Kamon Corporate, Box... no, that isn't Kamon's property either. Dumbass.


 "Ha! Now, I’m able to use my fear energy to conquer this world and destroy the
 Digital World! And none of you can stop me! Black Warp Waves!"


 *Everybody freezes and begins to make seaside ambience*


 The attack swarmed all around the Digidestined, having an effect…
 "Ah! The darkness… it’s so cold…" wined Kari, Yolei, and Mimi.
 "I’ve never been so… afraid…" stated Tai.
 All of the Digidestined were shivering from the infinite cold that the darkness
 brought. The more they talked, the colder and stronger it got. They seemed to be
 losing energy. It was at a point where it seemed like they couldn’t stand.
 "Yes, children, just keep feeling the fear! Feel the sheer power!"
 "It’s not too late! We can fight! He’s using our fear against us!" said Davis,
 brave as usual.
 "He’s right!" said T.K., being able to get up now that he was less afraid. The
 darkness was strong, but it wasn’t working on those who weren’t afraid.
 "They’re right!" agreed Kari, getting up with the help of T.K. and Davis.
 "We can do it!" agreed the rest of the Digidestined. They got up, withdrawing
 their Digivices, ready to fight.
 "Oh, do you think so? My darkness overruns the world! And you’re puny attacks
 show no match for my force! I’ve been more afraid of dental floss!


 TK - Hey, Fearless Leader. (waves a piece of dental floss in front of Davis)

 DAVIS - YAAAAHHHH!!! (leaps back)


 "You can’t win, we’re not afraid any more!"
 "Oh, and the entire game revolves around you? The entire world feeds my darkness
 in fear! So long, foolish children!"
 "The entire world!"
 "How will we warn all of those people? There’s no time for another World Tour!"
 complained Tai.


 CLOUD - You can use my car, it's hella fast.


 "There’s got to be a way!" said Cody, determined to win.
 "We’ve never lost to darkness before!"
 "Let’s find away to cancel out all fear of the darkness!"


 VEGETA - That's stupid enough to work.


 Suddenly, the Digivices started to glow, and they all lead to Tai’s Digivice in
 streams of color.
 "What?!" yelled Tai, startled.
 "We all know you’re the leader, Tai!" exclaimed Davis and T.K.
 "You use the Digivice!"
 "For what, Ken? I don’t know what to do!"
 "Let our Digivices, D-3s, and Crests tell you, Tai!" encouraged Sora.
 "You can do it!" yelled Matt.
 "Errrr… Digicommunicate, Power UP!" yelled Tai. Suddenly, pictures of Tai
 appeared in the sky all over the world.
 "What?!" yelled people all over the world, confused and afraid.


 EVERYBODY - What?!


 "People of the world," began Tai’s voice. "I know that you are all afraid of the
 darkness spreading, and that the picture of the evil Digimon we’re fighting has
 probably also appeared for you to see, but you can’t give into it!"
 "Why not?"
 "Why shouldn’t we!?"


 CONKER - (citizen) we get killer perks for giving into this darkness thing. My
 pension just doubled.


 Questions came by the billions all over the world.
 "I know that you are all afraid, and so am I, but the more afraid you get, the
 stronger he gets! You’ve got to find the courage! You’ve got friends who will be
 there, and with your friends, there’s no limit to what you can do! We’ve got to
 find the strength! Together, we can win! Watch the fight. We’re down, beat up,
 and pummeled, but we aren’t giving up. We can’t win alone. If you’re all to
 chicken, then why don’t we just stop fighting and let him take over the world?
 If the whole planet won’t fight for it’s cause, we don’t need freedom. You’re
 only hurting yourselves! We’re earth, and earth doesn’t give up that easily!
 Remember all the fights and wars we’ve had. They weren’t fighting for nothing!
 They were for freedom, for rights, for our own land and planet!"
 "He’s right!" yelled Omnimon in the picture that was appearing all over the
 world. Slowly, he struggled to get up, and ran at Galvamon, only to be smashed
 back into a wall. The repeated this until he was un-conscious.
 "Well, foolish Digidestined, did you really think you’re pathetic forces could
 defeat me? Your world is doomed!"
 Meanwhile, humans were seeing this fight.


 DAVIS - (citizen) Cool, I don't have to pay for this either.


 "Maybe… they can win!"
 "If they can be that brave and risk their lives, the least we can do is help
 them!"
 "Be brave!"
 Soon, all the humans let go of their fears of the darkness. With their courage,
 they glowed orange.


 AGUMON - Digivolve!

 VEGETA - Go Super Saiyan!

 CLOUD - Do Limit Breaks!


 The darkness spread apart, and slowly faded away. All the humans had lost their
 fear and were in this together. The world was fighting united, for one cause.
 Freedom.
 "What? What is this?! I’m losing energy!"


 AGUMON - (Galvamon) Next time, I most stock heavily on Gatorade! I will not make
 this mistake again!


 "He absorbs they fear around him, well let’s feed him with courage!"


 CONKER - As you might imagine, courage doesn't taste very good unless it's
 cooked.


 Suddenly, all of the orange light came out of the humans as energy, all heading
 for the dark pearl on Galvamon’s chest. Galvamon began to glow orange with it.
 "Err! You puny humans cannot defeat the most powerful Digimon! This can’t be
 happening! No!"
 "All right, guys, end this fight!" Yelled Omnimon, powering up his cannon…
 "Supreme Cannon!"
 "Giga Crusher!"
 "Terra Force!"
 "Posatron Lazer!"
 "Giga Missile!"
 "Seven Heavens!"
 "Fire Tornado!"
 "Lightning Spear!"
 "Magna Blast!"
 "Rapid Fire!"
 "Ahh! No! I’ll be back! Wait ‘til next time-"
 The attacks hit Galvamon, causing him to be destroyed.


 DAVIS - (throws up his arms) This is just stupid.

 TK - Why?

 DAVIS - No one is destroyed any other way than that... being 'destroyed'.


 He burst into purple energy, and returned the peaceful light to the world.
 Everything was recovered.


 AGUMON - Why? Cuz he's a nice guy, really.










 *Everybody looks at the blank screen for a couple of seconds*

 VEGETA - I think it's over.

 *Before Conker can retort, everybody attempts to split out of the rec room. A
 force field stops them*

 DAVIS - What the hell?!

 CONKER - We have an epilogue.

 KID - Why do I not like the sound of this...


 Epilogue
 "I’d like to celebrate the victory of the world that we had yesterday, by
 playing this song!"


 TK - Oh, sweet Jesus no.


 yelled Matt, getting his guitar ready in front of the Digivice Communication
 Screen.






 Hey Digimon, Hey Digimon!
 Monster Friends to the boys and girls!


 EVERYBODY - NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!

 *Everybody plows straight through the force field and runs screaming to their
 bunks*


 Hey Digimon, Hey Digimon!
 Champions of the Digital World!
 Hey Digimon, Hey Digimon!
 Ultimate Friends to the boys and girls!
 Hey Digimon, Hey Digimon!
 Champions of the Digital World!
 Seven young kids go to camp for the summer,
 Wind up living in a Digital Land.
 Where everybody gets to meet his own Digi-Monster,
 A Digital Companion, A Digital Friend.
 A Digimon In-Training, Will Digivolve to Rookie,
 And Digivolve to Champion and Ultimate, too.
 I’m gonna save the Digital World for me,
 I’m gonna save to the Digital World for you!
 Hey Digimon, Hey Digimon!
 Monster Friends to the boys and girls!
 Hey Digimon, Hey Digimon,
 Champions of the Digital World!
 Hey Digimon, Hey Digimon!
 Ultimate Friends to the boys and girls,
 Hey Digimon, Hey Digimon!
 Champions of the digital World!
 Well, the main enemy is out, but the slave of the enemy is out there, ready to
 bring his master back. Will the
 Digidestined be able to stop him in time? Read my next action-packed Fic for the
 next saga!


 CONKER - Am I glad that's over. ... guys?







 Well, that's it for our little special. If I didn't say it above, this is the
 Black Warp Saga from Kamon, and if you're pissed off at me, then soooorry. Until
 next time!


 Another mission's up next! Get prepared.. this one's gonna be a bit different!



 END OF CHAPTER 8