Anime Fanfiction University by Shaun Garin Disclaimer : AFU belongs to me. The characters themselves don't belong to me in contrast. Anyone who says I'm ripping off Miss Cam's OFUM will be fed to Mozaku the Wobbafett. And whoever complains about the Urple, I'm getting a shipment of Glowrange in. ================ Zone opened her eyes to the sound of people talking. Loudly. Very loudly. Squinting at the bright sunlight, she sat upright in the chair she had somehow wound up in. "What the hell is going on here?" "Oh, you've finally woke up." Zone looked to the right at a petite young girl in flashy red and orange, her hair a carrot red color. Zone blinked once. "Lina Inverse?" "That's my name, don't wear it out." Lina handed her a package. "Here's your course schedule, ID card and map of the school. Just head down the hallway to the main auditorium." Zone took it, her mind spinning as she opened up the package. "Evil Villainy 101 by Vegeta, Prince of Saiyans, Combat in Anime 101 by Heero Yuy?" Zone felt her knees weaken as she read off some of the names of her favorite anime characters. The auditorium was large and packed with people of all shapes and sizes. People ranging from simple school girls in fukus to spiky haired boys and girls with tails. Looking up at the people who sat at the front of the auditorium, she gaped in open mouthed shock. A virtual plethora of her favorite anime characters sat there, the ever so yummy Heero and Duo, Vegeta, her favorite bad guy from Dragonball Z. She whimpered as her gaze fell on Yamato of Digimon 02. "Yama-sama," she whimpered lustfully, sinking down into a nearby chair. "He has that effect on lots of people," remarked a girl next to her. "Hey, I 'm Leena, Serge'sLove." "Samantha, but you can call me Zone." Zone said weakly. "What's going on here?" "Didn't you read the enrollment form?" Leena asked curiously. "I thought everyone knew what was going on, considering the recent rashes of people going to the other universities." "Other universities?" Zone asked, looking at Leena. Leena nodded, tossing her red hair behind her and adjusting the frying pan she wore strapped to her back. "Yeah, they say," and at this, her voice dropped to a whisper, "that one of the Professors who built this place went to MUSM. And he's EVIL." "I heard," another girl said next to her, "That he was the first to paint Urple on Morgoth's backside during a lecture, and get away with it!" "They say he has no fear of Miss Cam too," a third, a stout boy said, wringing his hands nervously. "And they're actually friends." Zone swallowed hard as a round of applause drowned out her reply. Onto the stage stepped a very bishonen man in a red coat. Vash the Stampede. "Welcome all to The Anime Fanfiction University," Vash said. "You are all here for one purpose; to learn how to write quality anime fanfiction. Each one of you was selected by the Book of Bad Fanfiction, to attend the school." Many murmured, uncertain of themselves. Most of them believed that they had written excellent fanfiction. Vash cleared his throat, getting the attention of most people. "I now turn to some of our Professors. First up is Professors Kei and Yuri." An audible gasp of fear swelled the ranks of the school, for the people who knew Kei and Yuri were known as the Lovely Angels, or by far, The Dirty Pair. The Most Destructive Force in the Universe, two years running. Kei looked over the students who were chattering nervously as she banged her hand on the platform, making everyone jump. "First off," she said, an edge of disdain in her voice, "Yuri and I will be known as Kei and Yuri, the Lovely Angels or Professors. NOT the Dirty Pair. If you will all respect that, there's no need to blast you people into little bits." "She'll do it too," Yuri put in. The Lovely Angels stepping down, Yamato of Digimon 02 and Satoshi of Pocket Monsters stepped up, Yamato clearing his throat. Before he could open his mouth however, several fangirls came rushing down the aisle for a fangirl-tackle, screaming, "Yama-sama, I wuv youuuuuuuu!" Suddenly, a huge object came crashing down atop them, smashing them flat. It revealed itself to be a giant Snorlax. Satoshi chuckled. "Sorlax is our defense against fangirls, as you can see. Which brings us to our class that we teach; 'Pet Monsters and You 101'. For those of you who want to be trainers or digi-destined or chosen, you will be in this course. Even if you are a digimon all ready, you still have to take it." "Don't be late or we'll set Katsumi and Nodoko the Pichu and Pikachu on you," Yamato added. "They bite." Said Pichu and Pikachu grinned menacingly from the sidelines of the stage. Several other people introduced themselves, ranging from Vegeta and Trunks of Dragonball Z, to Lina Inverse who taught "Mass Destruction 101" in conjunction with the Lovely Angels. Then, for the evil side of the courses, professors such as Miss Washu, who would blow you up for not calling her Little Washu, and the fearsome Piemon who taught Super Villany 201. Other course instructors included Shaun Garin, one of the surviving Urple Bandits of MUSM, who seemed to be nice, but his comments were downright evil. "In short," Shaun was saying, "Your classes will begin next week. There can be weekend excursions to the outlying city of The City, but keep in mind, you must be on time for your classes. All right? Everyone is assigned a dorm room, and students are not allowed in the Staff Area for any reason, unless accompanied by a professor. All right, I suggest you all get used to the grounds, and be careful. We're built on an excruciatingly high mini-mountain in the middle of The City, and outside the grounds can be treacherous." At this, his expression turned evil. "All right people, get a move on!" Zone stood up, shaking her head. "Too much information," she muttered, rubbing her head in pain. "You're telling me," Leena remarked. Norris ran up behind the pair and slapped Zone on the back. "What did you think of this place?" he asked the pair. "Where have YOU been, Norris?!" Zone exclaimed, grabbing him around the neck. "Chill," Norris grunted, trying to remove her hands from his neck. "I was in the front row." Sighing while letting go, the trio exited the room and looked around. "Strange place," Zone remarked. "It looks like a mini war zone," Leena said, looking at the random weapons of mass destruction that sat around the fairly large campus. "With some cuteness wrapped in it." She pointed to a bunch of Pokemon that were eyeing the trio, evil glints in their eyes. "Those are Clones," Lina said from behind them. The group jumped at the petite red head who had snuck up on them. "Whenever you make a name spelling error, you spawn a Clone." "You're kidding, right?" Zone asked. "Ugh. I need a drink." Suddenly, an explosion rocked them off their feet. Only Lina stood straight up as she grumbled. "Oh not again." She looked up into the sky as two figures duked it out with high powered pyrotechnics. "Hey, knock it off you two!" "Who are those two?" Leena asked, looking upwards. "CellJr and VegetathePrinceofall are at it again, trying to prove who's stronger." Lina grumbled. "Hey, Vegeta! Cell! If you don't come down here, I 'm calling Shaun on you!" Vegeta, not the real one but some author who had put down Saiyan as his race, snorted from way up high. "And what could that puny earthling do to us?" And quite suddenly, the sky turned Urple as two screams echoed in the air. Shaun, far down below, sighed happily as the pair collapsed to the ground, shining a brilliant Urple color. "The first Urple Banditry of the year. Pippin and Merry would be proud." "He IS evil," Zone declared, hiding her eyes from the glare. "No one would use such a terrible color!" "Move along people, move along," Gourry Gabriev said, shooing the crowd away. Beware students, AFU's first year has begun... with an Urpling.