Anime Fanfiction University by Shaun Garin Disclaimer : Urple is not mine. OFUM is not mine. AFU is. All anime isn't. Glowrange is mine to do Glowrange Banditry. Gotta carry on the tradition, eh? As another reminder, quit using my review button to fill out the forms! Send them all to my EMAIL! Thank you. ============= Night came to The City, overcasting AFU in all it's spleandor. The gleaming white towers shone brilliantly in the night sky, the stars twinkling Glowrange (don't ask), and in the middle of it all, the students were unaware of the lurking danger that was the evil half of the staff. "This meeting of the Evilness Society will come to order." "I want a burger with fries with that order!" called out a Digimon named Pinnochimon. "Shut up there!" Growled Frieza. "Lets get this meeting done all ready. Some of us have busy schedules." The shadowed person, presumptiously in the shadows cleared his throat. "As we all know, the forces of good have all but taken over our jobs as evil people. This simply will ot do. Vamde-Tree has gone over to their side along with Vegeta and Crawford. It is time for us to take our place and run the show with our own ambitions!" "And how do you suppose we do that?" Kagato asked. "There are many of them and only a handful of us." "We will subjugate the staff by joining them, under the premise that we have use for their jobs," the shadow said. "Hmmm... tell us more," Dr. Gero said, leaning forward. "It is simple. With their trust in us, they will never expect a chance of betrayal! It is so simple!" "We all have people we want to see ruined," Saffron remarked. "What makes you think that we won't get in each others way?" "I will see to that," the shadowy person said. "Meeting ajourned. Lets get to our rooms before someone figures out we've been missing for the last few days." As the night continued its run, a few of the staff members on the side of good sat around a table, looking through enrollment forms. Heero Yuy shook his head. "Well, at least there are very few fangirls this year," he remarked. "Many of them don't know what a Lust Object is." "I should elaborate that for next year," Satoshi said, flipping through the enrollment forms. "Check this out, Nirumon, a digimon hybrid human." "Keep an eye on that one," warned Yamato. "Takuya would want a word with those hybrids." "This one too," said Sakura Kinomoto, NOT Avalon as she constantly insisted. "At least some of them don't know what Mary Sue and Avatars are." Everyone shuddered at the thought of the Mary Sue. "We'd need some of the PPC to help us with the situation if a Mary Sue appears on campus." This came from Sakura's familiar, Kero-chan who sat on the table, drinking tea. "Evil in the most simplistic form," agreed Vegeta who flipped through the forms. "Gwahahaha! Die XBox!" A resounding smashing sound echoed in the staff section as Shaun hung his head. "Why did you even hire him?" Lina Inverse asked curiously. "You know he's a psycho." "I wouldn't go that far," Shaun replied. "But he's one of the more demented staff members on campus." "So said the man with Glowrange paint sitting next to him," snorted Seto Kaiba. The staff chuckled. "Hmmm.... someone put down Plot Device as their lust object? I definately think we need to clarify the situation at hand." Tyson grumbled as he flipped to another. "Oi, Heero, how's Duo coming along?" "Sylphiel said he would be just fine in a few weeks," Heero said as he sipped from his coffee mug. "All those fangirls rushing him en masse wasn't good for his psyche." "I'm glad I'm too young to have any lusters," Satoshi remarked. "Well, you do have those horrible lemons written about you," Lina pointed out. "I think everyone has experienced the horribleness known as the Lemon." Everyone shuddered and bowed their heads for the death of sensible charecterization and plot. "Hey, you guys still awake?" Ranma Saotome walked in, dressed in a robe and slippers. He was yawning and holding a plushie that was shaped like a panda. Vegeta snarled angrily at the pigtailed martial artist. "You were sleeping while we were paging you all night? Get to work, slacker!" "I'm just the Martial Arts Professor, not a paperworker," Ranma defended himself smugly as he plopped down next to Lina who gave him a death glare. "A stupid one at that," Tyson remarked, fingering his beyblade and glaring at him. "Why can't you take these lessons seriously?" "Feh, not my fault that these guys are pathetic," Ranma said, waving it off. "Thats it! You and me, right here, right now!" Vegeta had slid his chair out, and was literally crackling with electricity. "Bring it on!" Ranma exclaimed, throwing his robe off and stancing. His aura flared into existance, a candle against an inferno next to the angry Saiyan. Shaun cleared his throat softly, and muttered, "I'll dunk you both in Urple and Glowrange if you two don't calm down." The twin auras faded out of existance as the pair sat down, casting glares at the professor who merely sipped at his apple cider. Sakura yawned. "I don't know about all of you, but I have a class to teach tommorow morning." "Magical Girls 101?" Vincent asked Sakura who nodded. "Yeah. Good night everyone." Yawning, Sakura headed out of the common room for her nice warm bed. One by one, the staff members filed to bed until Lina and Shaun sat, finishing up the last of the paperwork. Stiffling a tremendous yawn, Lina looked over at the MUSM graduate and asked, "So.... you ready for tommorow?" "I don't feel ready at all," Shaun admitted. "Oh well. It's time to face the music and see if we can make AFU a sucess." Lina nodded. "Well, don't work yourself into the ground. It's only the first week of the school term. But I'm beat. Night." Gathering up her cape, she headed out, leaving him to his work. =============== A resounding explosion rolled through the University as Zone snapped awake. "Earthquake!" "No it ain't," Leena, her roommate said, reaching for her alarm clock. "That 's my alarm." Zone groaned and flopped back onto bed. "What time is it?" "Twenty after seven o'clock," Leena said, pulling on a robe and grabbing a towel. "I'm going for my shower." Zone muttered something half coherant as the red head skipped out of the room merrily. Fifteen minutes later, a resoundingly loud gong-like sound cut into her sleep addled mind. Grumbling, she turned over. Another one, this one closer, with the chipper call of "Get up, get up!" was heard. A third gong sound resonated in her eardrums as a perky voice cried, "Get up! NOW!" Zone jerked out of bed, looking around wildly. "Who, what, where?" "Amelia De Seyruun, and I am ringing a gong to get you all up." The response came from a very short girl, about sixteen years of age, dressed in white and pink in a most cute manner. She was also holding a tremendous sized gong with one hand and a worn drumstick in the other. "Now up people! First classes start today!" Later that morning, during breakfast, Zone peered at her schedule. Magical Girls 101, Canon 101, Fighting 101, Crossover 101, Duelist 101. Looking over at Leena who looked a bit bleary, asked, "What did you sign up for?" "Canon 101, Pet Monster Handling 101, Meddling With Giant Mechas 101, Swords and Various Pointy Objects 101 and Duelist 101." Zone pouted. "We're only going to be in two classes together." Leena bolted down her coffee and let out a breath. "Well, I'm headed to class. You have the Canon 101 book list?" "You mean the book you need a forklift to carry? All You Need To Know About Canon?" "Yeah. Well, lets get to it, Canon 101 is first thing this morning." The hallways were as usual, crowded with students. Entering the room, there were quite a few people already there. Sitting down beside a boy, Zone sighed and tried to heave her Canon 101 book on the table. "Need help?" he asked. "Sure." Together, the pair heaved the books onto the table. "Chris," he introduced himself. "Just call me Ryu Izumi if you want." "Zone." She looked at him. "What did YOU write?" "Odyssey of Ryu amidst other things. You?" "Sailor Moon meets the Horny Tentacled Beasts," Zone replied. Chris, being in an anime styled world, actually sweatdropped. "Um, okay." "Don't mind her," Leena said. "Leena. I wrote a Self Insert making myself a Goddess in the AMG world and placed myself in the Leena of Chrono Cross." "That seems serious," remarked a hedgehog that sat beside Chris. "Ashura Hedgehog." "I know you!" Leena gasped. "You wrote all those MSTs and the Sonic Muyo series!" Ashura grinned. "I'm glad someone reads my stuff." Another guy who sat next to the pair looked at them. "Discussing fanfiction? Kyle Evanick. I write for Diaries and a few other series." Zone peered at him. "Most of your stuff is Author fanfic, right? I read PR Hyperstrike. How's that coming along?" Kyle nodded and shrugged. "Well, it's coming along. Hey," he said to another girl who sat near them. "What did you write?" "A few things here and there," she replied. "Misha." "Hey, you're on the DR board, right?" Chris asked. She nodded. "freakishAngelGal." Just then, the professor strode into the room. It was Shaun, accompanied by a small hunched over thing with long arms, horns, wings and looked like it had rolled in lava. He was also carrying the biggest stick known to man. Turning towards them, he sent a look that chilled everyone. "Okay people, this is Canon 101. What we're here today for is maintaining the canon continuity. This means that we deal with the original story, and everything that comes with it. This," he said, holding out the huge stick, "Is the Beating Stick of Canon. It's here to ensure the Canon stays normal. This," he said, gesturing to the thing that stood beside him, glaring at the students, "Is Arragon, one of the Mini-Balrogs rom my days attending MUSM and is the head guard for the staff section. Any questions so far?" One hand went up, belonging to a girl that looked like a half dragon. "Is it true that you painted Sauron's bum Urple while in MUSM?" "Actually no, that was Merry and Pippin," Shaun said. "And that was during the FIRST year. I didn't attend two years in Middle-earth. Now, if there are no more questions, we will start today with timelines." Reaching up, he hooked a huge rolling map with the end of the Beating Stick of Canon and pulled it down, revealing several dozen timelines all mixed together or seperated. "Now, we will start with the Dragonball Timeline. Now, there are three documented eras in the Dragonball timeline, as we all know. Dragonball, Dragonball Z and Dragonball GT." "Boring!" Ashura called out. A second later, the Beating Stick of Canon came down on his head as Shaun cleared his throat. "Another outburst like that, Ashura and you will be dunked in Glowrange and strung up on the Vamde-tree as a pinata for the Clones to play with." Shaun warned. "Now, we'll start off with the names of the major charecters. Gentlemen, if you will?" Five men marched into the rooms, one after another. "Goku. G-o-k-u. No two u 's on the last part of the name," Goku said. "Vegeta, not Vegita or even Veggie-chan." Vegeta looked like he was ready to kill with that last name. "But Veggie-chan is such a cute name!" gushed a girl from the far back. A moment later, she was lying on her back, twitching from the Big Bang Attack by one irate Prince. "I WOULD NEVER LET MYSELF BE CALLED VEGGIE!" Vegeta raged. "Except by the woman of course...." he added as an afterthought. "Next?" Shaun asked, leaning on the staff as Vegeta cooled off a bit. "Piccolo. I'm sure everyone can get that one right." Piccolo folded his arms. "Mirai Trunks." The elder future Trunks flipped his long hair back and glared at them. "Better get that right or else." "And lastly, it's Mr. Satan. I am NOT NAMED HERCULE!" Satan growled. "Hercule is just the dub name for me, and it's stupid!" Izumi leaned over to Ashura and muttered, "Hercule looks like a pansy. Wanna try him out?" "I heard that, Mr. Izumi," Shaun put in before Ashura could reply. "That's strike one and a half. I think we need to see what an Super Saiyan Author would be able to do against even Mr. Satan, a canon charecter. Gentlemen, commence the beating." Sounds of incredible violence could be heard in the background as Mr. Satan and Mirai Trunks leapt into the fray. Goku and Vegita took about two seconds before launching themselves into the free for all. Piccolo just stood by and slipped Arragon a few slices of bacon. Chuckling to himself, Shaun cleared his throat and called out, "Tommorow we tackle the names of Digimon charecters and five more Dragonball Z charecters. Dismissed!" Zone gathered up her books and winced as Mr. Satan actually left a broken mass of bones. "Yeek. You need help there, Izumi?" "I'll live," Izumi groaned from the floor. "Senzu...." Misha grimaced at the broken form. "Hard to believe that Mr. Satan could do something like that. I'll drag you to the infirmary." Leena looked nervous. "I didn't realize that the staff would deliver out random beatings." "We're from a super powered series," Piccolo rumbled. "Go figure. Now scoot; you have more classes to get to."